stayd2lng4u

Miko, I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
I am like you too, when I am stressed or something bad is affecting me, I lose weight instead of gain like most people do. I'm trying right now to gain back 48 lbs that I have lost in 6 months. I went from a size 14 in March to a 4 now, and I liked being a 14, now I am skinny and boney (big boned). I think those celebs are full of crap when they say they wear a size 4. Moriah Cary wouldn't be able to get a size 4 over one ankle, let alone over her curvacious booty!!
I will suggest to you the things that my doctor told me to do. Eat granola cereal at night before bedtime. Not low-fat. But regular granola cereal. Drink milkshakes, cold stone creamery has natural ice cream, mix it with strawberries instead of the candies. Baskin-robbins has fattening ones, but not as natural as CS. If you are up in the middle of the night force yourself to eat. Eating when your body is suppose to be sleeping and your metabolism is slower helps with weight gain. Even if it's just yougart. Not fat-free though. Eat Yoplait creamy, it has the most calories from fat. I know these days it's hard to find healthy foods that aren't low fat. All fat isn't bad. Your body needs fat and protein to function healthy. Salads actually have alot of calories if you use ranch dressing and cheese. Add boneless skinless chicken to it. Then you get healthy with some good calories and protein. The thing is you have to consume more calories than your body is using to actually gain weight. So eating tiny amounts of fattening food will not help you. You've got to consume more than you normally would. Eating half the salad or half the bowl of cereal will not help, you have to eat the whole thing. Look at portions that your friends are eating (as long as they aren't dieting) By doing this I realized that I was eating way less than they were. Look on-line to find how many calories you are suppose to eat a day for your height, age & weight, and then force yourself to eat a little more each day. Don't just start gorging yourself, work up to it.
Also, if you don't already excersize, do some light weight lifting. Start out just lifting 5lb hand weights. You can do this while watching TV. I know with me, anything real active, like treadmill or aerobics causes me to lose more weight. But lifting hand weights will help gain a little muscle without burning too many calories.
I completely understand that you don't feel like eating. I have to force myself and keep telling myself to eat, because I am just not hungry. But I don't want to be skinny either.
Find an event in the future that you are attending and want to have gained weight for. Set that time as a goal, just like someone trying to lose weight. Make realistic goals weekly or bi-weekly to gain weight. I have my high school reunion next july and I want to have gained at least 40 lbs back by then.
I hope this will help you. And again I am so sorry for your loss. I wish the best for you in the future and my prayers are with you.