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Old 10-31-2010, 07:03 PM   #1
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blackomen HB User
Very stressed even with an "easy" life

Ok, I'm in my mid 20s and I probably have a relatively simple life compared to most people I've talked to. I get paid not that much to do data entry work 50 hours a week but it's more than enough to pay my bills and save or enjoy a little. I'm also not often under a lot of pressure at work. My commute isn't very long either (30 minutes max each way.) I don't have debt so I don't worry about making those payments. I'm easily able to get 7 - 8 hours of sleep almost everyday. I rent a house and don't have kids or a partner. Only caveat is that my job requires very early morning hours (starting at 5:30am but finishing shortly after noon.)

Sounds like an easy life?

When others confront me about how much stress I'm under, they leave saying something to the extent of "That's it????"

However, less than a year after starting this job, I feeling a ton of stress even though there's not much going on in my life. Everyday, I come home so tired I can't move except to sit at the computer or in bed.. maybe after cooking a simple meal for dinner. My most recent annual physicals all came out "normal".

Recently, I've been having sporadic chest pains, usually pretty mild but still it worries me greatly. It seems to have started occuring after I started drinking more caffeine than usual.. to greatly energize myself when feeling stressful by the sorts of activities a normal person would not be very stressed out from doing.

Fyi, I'm only in my mid 20s.

 
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Old 11-18-2010, 06:50 AM   #2
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Re: Very stressed even with an "easy" life

Were you under a lot of stress as a child or earlier in life? Did you grow up around a parent who was constantly showing their stress?

I, too, have it "easy" now compared to most people (but didn't as a child.) And now, I am always tense and sometimes very tired (despite 8 hours of sleep.) I have to remind myself over and over to relax. Within a minute of a relaxation exercise, I am tense again. I've had serious digestive problems since my late teens, and I know this is part of the reason. I feel I've always been stressed and battled depression/anxieties, although my life is surely easier than most people's.

I believe the causes for me are genetic (anxiety seems to run in my family) and that one's autonomic nervous system can be permanently in the "on" position due to the earlier life stresses. If you don't learn how to "relax" and "let go" while young, your mind and body learn to remain stressed.

Perhaps you are also stressed, despite having "less on your plate," because you have to support yourself alone. So even though you are able to do so, it still causes you stress.

One relaxation exercise I like to do: lie comfortably on a sofa or bed. Start at your head and slow move down your body, focusing on regular slow breathing and relaxing every muscle all the way down to your toes. Focus on your breathing for awhile. Then move back up your body, relaxing every muscle slowly, all the back up. Do this for awhile but beware: you just might end up taking a nice nap!

Try to go get a professional massage now and then, too. It is very relaxing and nice.

Exercise/yoga is supposed to also help with stress.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:46 AM   #3
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Re: Very stressed even with an "easy" life

Quote:
I get paid not that much to do data entry work 50 hours a week
50 hours of data entry work would make my brain implode.!!!

Truthfully, I was in a situation similar to yours when I was 19 & 20 yrs. old. Would commute to work; do my job; commute home, start pigging out then go to sleep. Same routine repeated 5x's/week. Lived alone, had a few close friends, but I was basically BORED TO DEATH!!!! Analogy: Hamster running on wheel in cage.
And then. . . "Prince Charming knocked on my door" and soon moved in. End of OhSo Boring Life! But. . . it gets even better. Met and married older weathly man and traveled the world. Final Saga. . . divorced older man, married (25 yrs. now) another (not so weathly) man, and had two beautiful, brilliant daughters. Current husband and I are now very wealthy and I volunteer caring for hospice patients.

Sounds like you simply need some excitement in your life, so go for it!!!

 
Old 11-18-2010, 10:16 PM   #4
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blackomen HB User
Re: Very stressed even with an "easy" life

I hate telling my life story since I'm not a good story teller but I feel I may have to in order to better understand my situation. You decide whether or not I'm stressed, objectively speaking.

My parents were working class immigrants. I was born in the US. At an early age, I was under tremendous pressure to succeed in school. Although I didn't graduate high school with straight A's, I ended up being accepted to an Ivy League school. My parents pretty much pinched their pennies to send me their. At 18, I naiively complied (and later, I much regret this decision.)

4 years later, I graduated with my hard work. My parents then decide I must go on to graduate school, and again, I naiively comply to their obligations rather than get a job when the economy was still good (this was around 2007.)

So I attend graduate school. I gave it my best shot but I ended up flunking my qualifying exams and being expelled as a consequence. This was 2009. My parents tell me I have to try again and reapply for graduate school, and I literally tell them "No way" since I've had enough, considering how much effort I put into it and it failed.

They tell me I can't live at home anymore and I'm on my own now if I don't go to graduate school (since they think I'm a disgrace after them having spent so much money on my education only to see me fail at this point despite my hard work.) So I choose the former route.

At this point, I'm on food stamps and living on my college credit cards while I search for a job (remember, this was 2009 when the economy went to hell.) I literally sat there at the public library from open to close sending my resume out. I think I submitted about 1000+ copies to different jobs (including walmart, mcdonalds, etc.) and had over 30+ phone and in person interviews before landing a job late that year.

Since I had no experience, no connection, no qualifications, and with the abysmal economy, I ended up doing data entry work for a financial firm, paying barely over minimum wage. Still, it pays the bills and is better than being on food stamps and using credit cards to pay rent. I'd say I'm under less stress now than anytime in the last 2 years but my body disagrees.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pfe View Post
Were you under a lot of stress as a child or earlier in life? Did you grow up around a parent who was constantly showing their stress?

I, too, have it "easy" now compared to most people (but didn't as a child.) And now, I am always tense and sometimes very tired (despite 8 hours of sleep.) I have to remind myself over and over to relax. Within a minute of a relaxation exercise, I am tense again. I've had serious digestive problems since my late teens, and I know this is part of the reason. I feel I've always been stressed and battled depression/anxieties, although my life is surely easier than most people's.

I believe the causes for me are genetic (anxiety seems to run in my family) and that one's autonomic nervous system can be permanently in the "on" position due to the earlier life stresses. If you don't learn how to "relax" and "let go" while young, your mind and body learn to remain stressed.

Perhaps you are also stressed, despite having "less on your plate," because you have to support yourself alone. So even though you are able to do so, it still causes you stress.

One relaxation exercise I like to do: lie comfortably on a sofa or bed. Start at your head and slow move down your body, focusing on regular slow breathing and relaxing every muscle all the way down to your toes. Focus on your breathing for awhile. Then move back up your body, relaxing every muscle slowly, all the back up. Do this for awhile but beware: you just might end up taking a nice nap!

Try to go get a professional massage now and then, too. It is very relaxing and nice.

Exercise/yoga is supposed to also help with stress.

Last edited by blackomen; 11-18-2010 at 10:18 PM.

 
Old 01-23-2011, 09:21 PM   #5
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Re: Very stressed even with an "easy" life

I recently saw a documentary about stress- National Geographic's may be titled Stress: Silent Killer. The documentary revealed several studies about the true causes and it was very surprising to me. It detailed some studies in animal communities that correlated stress to social status. Could you imagine that if you were 6 foot 5, big chest, new bmw, beautiful wife, 6 figure income, and large house, would that eliminate your stress today???

It would eliminate stress that is being controlled by my unconscious self.

Why the pull? Humans can undertake all kinds of things without being stressed. I believe it is the subordinate status that has been projected onto our minds that control our thinking and influences our survival instincts without having much say over it. Why do people in ghettos have higher drug abuse and alcohol abuse and crime problems. Its the bombardment of social cues that register in our fearful minds of "I am inadequate" which devastates our thinking all day. TV, Radio, social circle, church, movie theater, resteraunt, billboard, on our way to work, in our cars looking at each others butt and comparing ours to theirs, its Saturated and we are addicted to it, yet really hardly aware, so this stressful monster is destroying and pillaging.

Status is an unconscious factor that controls us and manufactures stress.

So, you may want to up your status to lessen the stress. But you would only be setting yourself up for an eventual fall, still playing the game.

So to be free of this whole construct altogether would be to somehow be free of the need for status. To pursue a spiritual path and become spiritually minded <frees me> of the need for status.

<removed>



I like the simple meditation of loving life. Life is here.

Last edited by Administrator; 05-24-2011 at 06:35 AM. Reason: reference

 
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