I am sorry to hear you are going through a rough time, I will try and give you some tools for coping with stress that have worked really well for me.
I do yoga & meditation, which has helped me TREMENDOUSLY! I have learned how to breathe 'properly' which may sound bogus, but is SO important for lowering the body's stress reaction, as you get WAY more oxygen to your brain/heart/lungs/all organs really.. and that helps your physiological response to stress not be SO significant.
The feeling of being 'worked up' all the time, as well as all of your physical manifestations of stress, can really be attributed to your body being in a 'fight or flight' mode all the time. Basically, your nervous system is hyper-stimulated by all the cortisol (stress hormone) pumping through you. There are some good ways to reduce this, which is the good news!
It will help your health A LOT if you can try and reduce your stress.. here are some things I find help a lot:
lavender oil -- I put some in the bath, spritz some in my room (water + oil in a spray bottle), put it in a room diffuser, or use a candle.
Lemon balm -- find it in teas, tinctures, etc. it is a naturally relaxing herb -- I love it! Eases my mind right away.
Taking time for yourself -- have hot baths, garden, paint/write/do something creative, go to the spa or do at-home spa treatments, socialize with friends, etc. Do things that make you feel relaxed, good about yourself, and happy in general. This is SO important and often overlooked! "Me time" is important and you need at least an hour of it every day!
Nutrition -- balanced diet is very important for dealing with stress. Malnutrition or any nutrient deficiencies can cause all kinds of stress-response issues. You simply won't cope as well if you're lacking anything vital to your health. Lots of fruits, veggies and whole grains!! Organic when possible is even better. Also, going long periods of time without food/skipping meals is TERRIBLE for amping up cortisol and causing stress on the body! DON'T DO THIS!!
Reading -- it puts the mind at ease and is very relaxing for most people. Even if it's just a magazine, it can really help.
Talking to friends/counsellor/people close to you -- this can help you cope/manage stress a lot.. but also try not to dwell on your problems too much! This can make it worse.
Avoid anti-anxiety meds -- they are only for short term use, are super addictive (no matter what the doctors will tell you) and really aren't the answer. You gotta change your high-stress lifestyle if you want to change anything.. not add drugs to the mix. This is just a warning. I myself, as well as many others I know, have had HUGE problems from anti-anxiety meds such as benzodiazepines. Only take those if you reaaaaaaaaaally need them.. and very few people qualify as really needing them. Like I said, super addictive.
Avoid alcohol/drugs -- yeah, may relax you temporarily, but cause depression/anxiety and sleep problems, to name a few. Should be avoided. Try cutting out alcohol completely until your life is not so stressful.
Exercise -- exercising reduces stress levels by actually inhibiting the production of cortisol.. it also amps up endorphins/serotonin in the brain, which basically means you'll be happier and more relaxed.
As you can see, taking control of your stress is really about taking charge of your life & body & approaching the situation holistically. The body is like a car, you have to keep it well oiled and properly maintained in order for everything to work properly. Also, don't be afraid to say no to people. You're already overextended. If you feel like someone is asking too much of you, or anything of you & you just don't have the time/energy... just say no! You don't need an excuse. You'd be surprised how not taking on other people's problems can really reduce YOUR stress levels!
Good luck hun, if you have any more Qs just ask
Take care of yourself!!