Join Date: Dec 2011
anxiety or what???
hey, all. i warn you, this post is about to become huge, complicated, and frustarting for all of us.
i am a sixteen year old, apparently healthy girl, at least i thought i was, until recently.
i've had severeal very traumatic expriences in my life, the first being a parents divorce around seven, then being physically and mentally abused for a very long time by my mother, then being kicked out to go live with my father, then being taken away from him and all those i held dear and put back with my mother, after my younger brother (13) raped my younger sister. (12) even though we very much think that she was in on it. My brother had to go to the crazy ward for a few months, they took him out, and he is now living with my dad and miserable, and it stresses me out a bit, i admit.
over all, i thought i handled everything that happened pretty well. i've been forced to take care of them for as long as i can rememeber, all of them. after what happened i had to take care of my mom and stepdad too, things were very bad but i thought i was gonna be okay.
however, then things started to go down hill. i developed a rash which i strongly suggest was tick related, it started as what i thought was a zit on my cheek, but spread through my skin as a circular rash that my mom thoguht was ringworm. it wasn't particularly bullseye like, but it was round, and in my case, i still have a circular scar on my leg from where it happened. it was severely itchy, which is the only thing that makes me think it wasn't tick related, because i've read that the lyme disease rash isn't painful.
i could literally feel burning before the sores would appear.
i thought ringworm, lyme diesease, or maybe just stress - i have cold sores that i get very mildly on my lips, and thought maybe stress was just getting to me. my girlfriend also reported getting similar sores around the same time i did, and we are often together, so i think it might not have been me giving her something so much as us both being exposed to something, but i don't know.
she also has many cats that she ( like an idiot ) is allergic to, as am i, but i don't know if that has anything to do with it.
felt under the weather after the rash, but to be honest, i dont' remember any stand out symptoms, it was back in the summer, a few months ago. i supsect lyme because now, im having even weirder symptoms.
i went to the doctor to get new birth control ( for severe pms ) and he switched my brand from trisprintec to some off brand because tripsrintec, for whatever reason, probably stress, had stopped preventing my periods. the doctor also looked - from across the room - at my rash as he as giivng me new meds, said it was probably nothing, since it was about seventy percent healed up honestly by that point, it was flaking up and healing due to probably the hydrocortisone i was putting on it, along with probably abreva. so after that, it went away, i stopped worrying went on with my life.
i started getting worn out just from walking up the stairs at my school. my haert would be hammering and i had shortness of breath. i thought it was from the new birth control, so i stopped taking it.
after i stopped taking it, i was sent to the doctor with complaints of a uti, asked for new meds, they gave me a hard time and made me take a pregency test, of course im not pregant, so they gave me more trinsprintec and some bactrium - which made me sick, so they switched me to cipro after some projectile vomiting = for the uti that i honestly didn't know i had....just thought i was having terrrribbllee cramps or something, had no clue, thought maybe birth control again.
after that, i took the cipro, for a moment, everything was fine.
THEN i started to get terrible pain in my lower back, swelling in my ankles, abdominal pain - so they perscribed me, over the phone, amoxcilian 875 mg in case of kidney infection.
two days later i got my period. i have severe, severe premenstrual symptoms and they started a week before the actual period, causing me to panic, i figured i wasn't sick after all, but my mom advised me to take the meds after all, in case i was sick. i took them for six days before stopping because of odd bowel movements. i figured i wasn't actually sick so six days was good enough. i am now popping acidophilus every day or half a capsule culturelle lactobacilus gg to try and get my digestion going again. im having no cramps and very very light diraeaha, i would describe as maybe one slightly gross movement a day. hopefully it stays that mild because im flipping my ****.
i also got a severe sore throat that lasted a week not that long ago, but i contributed it to the cats at my other's place.
what is really bothering me now and what i really am worried about is i think i either have some kind of post traumatic stress that's showing up now for some raeson - like im not already sick enough - or lyme disease.
i have had no joint pain, but, i passed out yesterday in what im going to call an off episode. i for some reason think i can remember having them in the past, but i can't remember if it was before or after the rash, but i feel like it definitely could be after. i was not feeling stressed at all - i was actually pretty happy to go see my best friend, and a few hours before she was supposed to come, bam, out of nowehere, a huge headache, diziness, lightheadedness, confusion, no vision disturbances, but i got up to go do my hair, shook my head as i was applying hair spray, and blacked out. for about a second, but still. i shook my head and lurched forward, but caught myself. the headache and dizziness persisted all night long until about two last night.
i tried to go to sleep and had lots of violent tremors in my sleep ; i woke up, found my friend, and she calmed me down but i felt very confused and disoriented when i woke up, i think i had a nightmare i can't rememeber. when i went back to sleep i had a much less severe nightmare about my mother.
the weird termors, shaking, passing out, uti, and rash make me think lyme disease - honestly.
but the nightmares, heart palipitations, and headaches could also very easily be anxiety or stress causing all of this or even ptsd.
or maybe one could be causing the other. i really don't know.
but im worried and im not exactly in the posistion to go the the doctor. i've been five times and also, had a mild head trauma, that i had xrayed, so no fractures, etc, but again, maaaybe this is from the concussion, but i know for sure i've had the diziness before that head injury, so i don't exactly think that could be it. it's probably only happened three or four times in the past year or couple months, i can't exactly remember when all of these things happened.
im just really in a lot of pain right now, and my family doesn't want to help me, they are ****** at me for being a 'crazy hypochondriac' and keep telling me that they're going to have to send me to a crazy house if i don't shape up. i cannot afford elaborate medical care and i don't think i can convince them to take me to a lyme specialist, the only thing they would do is send me back to my regular doctor and ask for their thoughts, and, again, ive heard lyme disease is almost impossible to detect, especially if i have had it for months, and the doctors office already thinks that i am a lunatic, and my parents are really, they've been through a lot themselves, they are really upset, ****** off, and unsympathetic towards me and my symptoms, tell me im just crazy, and they would only lock me up in my house and take things away from me if i persue this too much. my mother has me grounded, sleeping at nine o clock, with my computer or phone for more han an hour because she thinks that i am overreacting to things and that im crazy yet she gives me no help.
i just want to know what your thoughts on the matter could be as to why i'm experiencing these headache, tremor, nightmare, confusion, passing out episodes because i also checked my heart rate before i passed out yesterday, convinced that i was having a silly panic attack that i could easily fix, and my heart was going at roughly 83 a minute, which is normal for a teenaged girl like me at rest. so i didn't worry. but yet ...all of this happened.