Trying to control my life
I am 18 and I am in my last year of school before university. I have been stressing a lot lately because I am trying to control my life way too much - I have managed to do well in school so far, but now that things are getting harder, I am finding it more and more stressful to maintain performance. I have a really terrible habit of planning every aspect of my life in advance, and I come up with more and more things I want to do, and I worry terribly about the possibility of not getting them done. I want to control my future job, where I live, what I see, and how I feel, and I also worry about my health. This is really stupid, but I just can't accept that I should just go with the flow! Right now I worry that university is just going to be impossible and that I am going to find everything really hard - this is stupid because people much les intelligent than me get in, but I just can't tell myself that. I worry that I will spend all my time struggling over impossible work, and that I will crash and burn....
I really don't know why, and I don't really know what to do - is there therapy for this stuff? Maybe someone else can share experiences? I just feel like if I take a day, or even an hour off my work, that I will be a failure. It's pretty drastic stuff...
Hitch-Hiker's guide to the galaxy, Douglas Adams.