Hi there Ammerybob,
I would love to help you, as I have had some life changing experiences that have forced me to rid myself of stress, and I have done so! If I can help one person, it would be my greatest pleasure.
I am usually found on the stoke board, as that is my biggest issue. I survived 4 simultaneous stokes when I was 43, out in the ocean snorkeling. Needless to say, the risks of another one, as well as the recovery process, required me to completely change my life, and for the better it turned out. Since then I have devoted my time in reaching out to other stroke survivors in hopes of helping them with what I have learned over the last 9/10 years. I see no reason why the same principles couldn't apply to you.
First of all, consider all your actions and reactions as choices. They really are. Many of us think of our typical reactions to typical situations as :just how I am" or just how I always react".But our typical reactions are simply habits that we have adopted for no real reason. At this point those reactions are hurting us, so we need to change them.
Start with one common feeling..ANGER. When anger pops into our head, it immediately starts a biological and chemical process that takes off on it own. At that point you are just a passenger on a anger fit. The trick is to stop the anger before it goes into overdrive. yes, we started with a hard one,but why not? if you can stop your anger, you can stop all of your negative reactions.
The next time you get mad, stop and change your typical process. Think about what is making you mad. Can you control it? If you cannot control the source or your anger, then drop it. It is over, you cant do anything about it. Move on.
if you can do something about it, what can you do? think of your options and pick one that doesnt lead to more anger. Change your course.
With practice on every single instance of life, you can honestly choose how you react to every single thing you come up against. YOu can choose your way to a stess free and anger free life, one problem at a time,.
When you succeed, feel that success. When you forget, or goof up, just wait for the next time to try again, and it will come quickly, right?
Try and practice with the people in your life. TEll them what you are doing so they can do it with you,..It can be really funny sometimes. I have taught my husband and he has lost his high blood pressure medication.
It sounds simple and too good to be true, but you can honestly change your brain into one that refuses to have bad feelings, The rewards are so great. I have changed my life into one of no stress, no fear. no anger, and you know why?
Because my life depended on it, and yours does too. You are young, and you can have this power for the rest of your life, Most things that come our way we cannot control, so half the battle is already won when you drop those things immediately. In a short time. you will see others going off around you and you will feel sorry for them because they don't know any better. Eventually, you will be a new person, and feel so confident in your ability to control your stress, your anger, your feelings and life will be filled with happiness.
One other part,..Start noticing the small things that are so important. I used to make a list of things that were really meaningful to me. Things that cost no money, the real things that life is all about. Spend a little time focusing on those things until they are suddenly all around you,
When I had my strokes, I could not read write, speak walk or even think straight for several years. when I slowly began to regain my functions one by one, I was so thankful and so grateful just to be alive to watch my children grow up. All of the things that I thought were so important were gone in one second. Most of them I have never taken up again, I still cant drive, I cant work, but I can help others by typing. That is really about all i can do, and not even that well sometimes. i learned again here.
Your health is all you really have that is important, and if you can learn to live stress free you can have a wonderful life. I hope this helps you a little bit. sorry it is so long, but once I get started, I just go until it is all out,.
I cant tell you are a very smart person and with all you have endured in your life, you especially deserve to take the rest of your life for yours...Do not let anything before this day to keep you back..
I heard a cute saying about the past..
"Don't trip yourself on what is behind you.."
I wish you the very best