msspectratoad

My mother in law had a stroke May 06. She is now in a nursing home and with intensions of preparing for her to come home. I have gone through four major deaths in my family (due to other obstacles) and I know I am prepared to begin my research with Ms. Jackie (my mother in law). I want to be educated and fully informed on stroke victims and strokes in general. I read most of the posts and I want to ask. Where do I begin my research on stroke victims? I want to know how she is feeling physhologically. Where do I start with relieving my father in law and in home care for when she comes home. She has paralysis on her left side (total) and her right leg as well. I want to put on shoes to get her feet to a bit more to a 90 degree angle but not sure if I am hurting or helping. I want to slowly straighten out her left arm and lay it flat but again I do not if I am helping or hurting. She has movement only in her right arm. I notice she runs her finger tips over rough surfaces and I do not know why. Should I give her more rough surfaces to rub to help her out. How much does she remember, we ask and she smiles but I am not sure. She knows us all along with the grandchildren. But I do not know if she is fooling us or not. She is speaking small words. She is a tough woman and I have seemed to push her into not giving up and to get rallying as it has helped. But now I just do not know where or how to get additional information in my health care system. My father in law has been at the hospital and nursing home every day and supervising the care. Yesterday we say her and for the first time I felt she was really depressed and I do not how to ask or how to make her feel better. Some ideas would be grand.