i am so mad, - Stroke Message Board

xanaxqueen · 09-03-2008, 07:52 PM

i am so disturbed, my dad had a stroke 7 months ago, his left side completely shot, i am his daughter, he is heavy weight on his affected side, and it is not going to get better...........i visit him at a nursing home, he makes me cry.....he wants to come home, i cannot let him go into ruins at a nursing facility, i hate walking ...and i mean ..i can walk away, he goes from wheelchair, to a bed, and he is begging to come home..
i bring him home for a 3 hour visit 2x a week, he becomes overtired being that i cannot ,,,,,,,,cannot transfer him onto a bed or comfy chair, then back to his wheelchair..when he leaves, and goes back to "that place", he is going crazy from boredom and feeling that everyone kinda quit calling him, etc.
how do you deal with someone of which, i'd gladly take his place, so he could take mine, and feel what he lost.........i lost it with him..he was my "rock", also, to add onto this, my mom is living alone, i'm doing all of the homework for both of them, and also at my home...
no support system going on here in my life, nor is my father getting anything but pt..and boredom and loss of what he had..his mind is still going good, body is not.
i hate this!!!!!!!!!!
no sleep for me, i am in despair.
thank ya for your time.
tawny

coupe · 09-04-2008, 04:37 PM

hi tawny, I'm very sorry to read of your dad. though 7 months to you, seems like forever? in reality, it's a very short time post stroke! other than financial reasons? I'm wondering why he's in a nursing home rather than a rehab hospital? he needs intensive therapies! physical therapy,occupational therapy, speech therapy, cognitive therapy, and phsocological therapy. much more aggressive than he'll ever get it a nursing home? he will get better? but, it takes time and hard work. he also needs some kind of recreational therapy.

my stroke was on November 2nd. 1992. also left side affected, plus I'm left hand dominant. my stroke was caused by an on the job crushing accident, so was covered under workman's comp. my hospital and rehab stay totaled approximately 30 months. from November 2nd. 1992 - March 12th. 1995. the entire time my therapies were very aggressive 8 hours per day 5 days per week during rehab id go home on weekends, wife picked me up Friday's after her work and return me on Sunday evenings. still after the 30 months I was released with a wheelchair and a quad cane. could walk in the house with the cane after 15 1/2 years I found a doctor, I'm also in PA. by the way. I'd heard of a surgery for the drop foot called a S.P.L.A.T.T PROCEDURE. don't ask me what the letters stand for? I've no idea, other than it's tendon release and muscle manipulation in the foot/leg/ and toes. requires 17 or 18 incisions. one night stay in hospital after the surgery. if goes right, I had to stay 2 nights for urinating problems. the recovery time is about 6-7 months. there is only a handful of doctors in the entire country that does this surgery. and they say the very best that do, is also here in PA. I'm not allowed to tell you who or where here? as regulations allow no off board help. I had the surgery on February 22nd., followed doctor's orders, did about 8 weeks of physical therapy, just had my 6 month checkup appointment in August. on the way home from that appointment we stopped and bought me a computer chair, I've not been in my wheelchair since! other than rolling in to get a cup of coffee. I took my first walk around our block week before last about 1/2 mile? took me about an hour, will get faster I'm sure. I'm even able to walk around inside my house without any cane or assistance at all. just being careful not to fall. so far so good. I've never regained anything in my arm or left hand, yet. this doctor also does surgery for that. when I go back next February, I'll ask her about that.

I'm very sorry you have no support? you should look into a stroke support group in your area ask at the hospital. they may know of one?

stroke is a very serious depressing challenge for you and your dad. improvements can and will be made. but not over night, it's a long strenuous process.

good luck to you and your father tawny. and god bless

may god bless us all

Larry/coupe

xanaxqueen · 09-07-2008, 10:59 AM

larry, your story is quite amazing. yes, dad is in a rehab center of which they are not doing much at all for him, it's close to home, (i have a deep fear of long drives), anyhow, he also has parkinsons of which makes him extremely weak and fatigued.
you must be one very determined man and i am just simply amazed at your regimine.
i wonder if my dad is too old for the drop foot operation, cause he'd try anything to regain anything on his afflicted side.
yes, his insurance went into a transitional ssd 2 months ago. i thought when he got a
power chair, his spirits would soar, they did for a few days,, then the feeling of "well, this is it, eh?" came back to him.
he is 83 years old with a wonderful personality, he's such a nice guy to everyone.
i want him to try and read your story, i always tell him success stories, and he loves to hear them.
keep on going, your quite an inspiration....i tried to find a support group (close to home) and there are none, i would really jump on that if one was around.
thank you so much for your wonderful reply!