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Old 05-29-2010, 09:43 PM   #1
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dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

I was hoping someone could help me to understand somewhat what my father is feeling/hearing at this point in time. He is not very responsive, and cannot communicate. He basically sleeps.
He had a stroke 4 days ago, and was unconscious when my mom found him. We think 1-2 hours passed before she discovered him (it was in the middle of the night...) and the ambulance came and began resussatation. He did come to, and did talk and was responsive at that time.
He is currently in ICU, and I've gone to see him every day. His left side suffers from paralisiss. The first two days, the doctors would wake him and ask him questions- to which he answered very detailed and correctly. I was feeling very optimistic at that time that recovery would be our next steps.
As 4 days has passed he still mostly sleeps. If I talk to him he does try to turn towards me, he does try to speak, he squeezes my hand.
I would like to know, can he hear me? Easily? Is his mind wanting to interact with me, but simply can't? Does he want me to leave him alone? Should I just let him rest, or should I talk to him, turn on the baseball game, etc.?
His right side he does move around. He fidgits with his leg, and also rubs it. Is he in lots of pain? The nurse said that most stroke survivors sleep for a day or two. I asked if they had him sedated and they said no. I do know that he is on pain killers.
Any insight to what my father's perspective is right now would be much appreciated. I just want to be able to comfort him the best way possible.
He is 74 years old.

Many thanks, Michelle

 
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Old 05-29-2010, 11:02 PM   #2
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Quote:
Originally Posted by micsmms3 View Post
I was hoping someone could help me to understand somewhat what my father is feeling/hearing at this point in time. He is not very responsive, and cannot communicate. He basically sleeps.
He had a stroke 4 days ago, and was unconscious when my mom found him. We think 1-2 hours passed before she discovered him (it was in the middle of the night...) and the ambulance came and began resussatation. He did come to, and did talk and was responsive at that time.
He is currently in ICU, and I've gone to see him every day. His left side suffers from paralisiss. The first two days, the doctors would wake him and ask him questions- to which he answered very detailed and correctly. I was feeling very optimistic at that time that recovery would be our next steps.
As 4 days has passed he still mostly sleeps. If I talk to him he does try to turn towards me, he does try to speak, he squeezes my hand.
I would like to know, can he hear me? Easily? Is his mind wanting to interact with me, but simply can't? Does he want me to leave him alone? Should I just let him rest, or should I talk to him, turn on the baseball game, etc.?
His right side he does move around. He fidgits with his leg, and also rubs it. Is he in lots of pain? The nurse said that most stroke survivors sleep for a day or two. I asked if they had him sedated and they said no. I do know that he is on pain killers.
Any insight to what my father's perspective is right now would be much appreciated. I just want to be able to comfort him the best way possible.
He is 74 years old.

Many thanks, Michelle
Hi, Michelle,
I can't talk from experience only to tell you that my mom is going through
the same thing only her stroke was the clotting kind. From what I am hearing on these boards is that they can hear you but are unable to speak or can speak very little. My mother has been asleep for 4 days. Her stroke happened on Wednesday morning.
She also fidgits but cannot move her right arm. It is a helpless feeling and I too would like to know the best way to respond to my mom. I am sure it is so frustrating for them not to be able to communicate. See my thread below yours.

Plumeria

Last edited by Plumeria5; 05-29-2010 at 11:04 PM.

 
Old 05-30-2010, 04:31 AM   #3
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Quote:
Originally Posted by micsmms3 View Post
I was hoping someone could help me to understand somewhat what my father is feeling/hearing at this point in time. He is not very responsive, and cannot communicate. He basically sleeps.
He had a stroke 4 days ago, and was unconscious when my mom found him. We think 1-2 hours passed before she discovered him (it was in the middle of the night...) and the ambulance came and began resussatation. He did come to, and did talk and was responsive at that time.
He is currently in ICU, and I've gone to see him every day. His left side suffers from paralisiss. The first two days, the doctors would wake him and ask him questions- to which he answered very detailed and correctly. I was feeling very optimistic at that time that recovery would be our next steps.
As 4 days has passed he still mostly sleeps. If I talk to him he does try to turn towards me, he does try to speak, he squeezes my hand.
I would like to know, can he hear me? Easily? Is his mind wanting to interact with me, but simply can't? Does he want me to leave him alone? Should I just let him rest, or should I talk to him, turn on the baseball game, etc.?
His right side he does move around. He fidgits with his leg, and also rubs it. Is he in lots of pain? The nurse said that most stroke survivors sleep for a day or two. I asked if they had him sedated and they said no. I do know that he is on pain killers.
Any insight to what my father's perspective is right now would be much appreciated. I just want to be able to comfort him the best way possible.
He is 74 years old.

Many thanks, Michelle
Hello Michelle,
I'm sorry about you father. I will try to ask your questions as best I can from your dad's perspective. All of your questions are good ones and I know that the first few weeks of a stroke is confusing and scary for everyone, so I hope I can ease your worry some.

I was hoping someone could help me to understand somewhat what my father is feeling/hearing at this point in time. He is not very responsive, and cannot communicate. He basically sleeps.

Yes, I am 99% sure he can hear you and he is aware of what is going on around him. If he is not responsive, it is just because he can't right now and I know that he wants to. He will in time. Him sleeping is a good thing and is a normal thing right after a stroke. The brain basically shuts everything down as it starts immediately re-wiring itself to heal itself. Our brain's are wonderful and amazing. It does it all itself, and we don't have to do anything!

I would like to know, can he hear me? Easily? Is his mind wanting to interact with me, but simply can't? Does he want me to leave him alone? Should I just let him rest, or should I talk to him, turn on the baseball game, etc.?

He hear's you and I'm sure that he wants to say something to you. One of the hardest things is the frustration you have when you want say something, but can't or say the wrong thing. I could not remember my wife's name. Even after she told me her name I told her I didn't think that was right.

I would say not to wake him up. He is sleeping very peaceful. He knows you are there and when he wants to wake up and try to talk, he will. And I would definitly leave the tv on to what ever his favorite station is. Then when he wakes up, his show is already there, it is very soothing for some reason. Hospitals are very noisy and the ambient hospital chatter is very disturbing, so the tv helps. I had a room mate that had 2 friends with him all day like a party. They even played cards half the day. I could not even ask him to be quiet. It was like hell for 3 days until I was able to ask my wife and the nurse to move me.

His right side he does move around. He fidgits with his leg, and also rubs it. Is he in lots of pain? The nurse said that most stroke survivors sleep for a day or two. I asked if they had him sedated and they said no. I do know that he is on pain killers.

I cannot say for him, but I am pretty sure that he doesn't have any pain (unless he had something broken of course). His leg is probably all tingly and is making him itch. That is another common thing with strokes. Like I said, the sleeping is normal and is very a nice sleep. I was in the hospital 5 days and slept most of the time, and I too thought they gave me sedatives, but they didn't.

I just want to tell you Michelle, that do not lose hope on your father. Him being responsive now is a very good sign. It may seem like he is always going to be this way, but he won't be. After my stroke and could not read and could only write my own name. That was just 6 months ago and obviously I am sitting at a computer and talking to you. Our brains are truly miraculous. Your best thing for your dad is to be positive around him. Be his little cheerleader. "You can do it! You can do it!" He is going to be mad and frustrated, but that is ok, that is part of getting better. So don't take it personal if he is mad. (I was mad alot, but only to myself) It is only 4 days so everything seems to be pretty normal from what I have read from you. Time and patience are very, very important to recovery.

I hope I helped. Please ask me anything and I will try to answer as best I can.

God Bless you and a speed recovery to your dad.

Tim

 
Old 05-30-2010, 08:13 AM   #4
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Hi Michele!

Definitely agree you should talk to your father. Put a smile on your face before entering his room so you'll sound cheerful. Chat with him just as though he were fine. Tell him about family doings, news, a movie you saw, something funny that happened e.g. Be positive only. If you feel you're getting upset, leave the room until you calm down. Keep your talk light and soothing.

Best wishes to you!

 
Old 05-30-2010, 09:31 AM   #5
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Thank you Plumeria, Tim and Chloe for your responses. It means so much to me that you have taken the time to respond with your encouragement, knowledge, and experience. It soothes my anxiety tremondously. I will surely take your advise! Tim, I'm so happy for your recovery and I appreciate that you have shared your experience with me.
Gratefully, Michelle

 
Old 05-30-2010, 01:49 PM   #6
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Hello,

That is what we are hear for, and while sharing our stories, if we can give any comfort to loved ones, how wonderful our experience becomes!

I remember being irritated when people spoke very loudly to me. I loved being touched, my hands being held, my hair brushed. And the nurses were really funny! I really wanted to smile and tell them I was ok.

It's funny, that I remember parts of it clearly.

Encourage your dad to be patient, as you will be. Sleeping is crucial, and the time "awake" can be exhausting, and confusing. Assure him, let him sleep, and just love him.

WE are here for you...
Janet

 
Old 05-30-2010, 06:01 PM   #7
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

I was hoping someone could help me to understand somewhat what my father is feeling/hearing at this point in time. He is not very responsive, and cannot communicate. He basically sleeps.
G'day Michelle,

As tim said this wanting to sleep is normal after a stroke.
I was in ICU for 2 to 3 weeks in a coma and contrary to others did not hear or see, or was consious of anything around me until I woke up and did find that I was very confused as to where I was, Why I was there And of how noisy it was around me. My daughter had put up photos of my 2 granddaughters on the wall beside me which I found comforting after I recognised who they were.
My wife was sick with a heavy cold at the time & did not come to see me for a week but I got a lot of comfort from my daughter who sat quietly and talked softly to me.
I also got a lot comfort from a male nurse & the chief ICU doctor who both would sit with me in the middle of the night and ask me questions and talk about the things that both they & I were interested in.

Can he hear me? Easily? Is his mind wanting to interact with me, but simply can't? Does he want me to leave him alone? Should I just let him rest, or should I talk to him, turn on the baseball game, etc.?

I found that the television was very confusing so didn't watch that very much.

 
Old 06-01-2010, 09:08 PM   #8
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

eemgee, thank you for your input as well- it is so good to hear these perspectives!
I will give an update on my dad- I've gone to see him every day, today was day 7 since the stroke.

On day 3, or 4 I went in and brought my daughter. She is 1 1/2. When we came in he was having a breathing treatment. When he heard that she was in the room, announced my my mom, he lifted his head a little, and opened his eyes. A minute or two later, as we were talking with him, he lifted his good arm, the right one, and waved to her. I was so ecstatic to see this!!! He is a good loving Grandpa! It was by far the biggest interaction that I had seen from him! Made me feel so good, and happy.

Yesterday, I went into the hospital late, at the end of the visiting day. The nurse had been stimulating him and he opened both of his eyes and said hello to me. We talked a little- I asked him if he was in pain and he said no. I explained to him that he looks really good, and little by little they've been taking the tubes and monitors off of him. I was moving his fingers and hand and foot & toes on the left side, his paralysis side and explained what I was doing and that he couldn't feel it. (The nurse said we should move him as much as possible). He said, "what are you talking about, I can feel it. So maybe he could? Well, I'm not to worried if he could or not. I was just happy to be conversing with him.

He still sleeps a lot, drifts in and out of what's going on. His interaction is very limited, but every tiny bit is very much appreciated. He knew who I was- my sister, and my mother. We asked him some questions and he took some time to think and answered. Some answers were very confusing, and others made sense. He did ramble a bit about some things that didn't make sense to me, but I sensed that maybe what was coming out was his worry and upset about his present situation- He seemed scared, or like someone was looking for him. I explained to him that we love him and that he is in a safe place, and that we won't let anyone bad near him. He doesn't have to worry, that everyone around him was there to take care of him and make sure he is ok.

I believe he thinks that he is in a hotel, or traveling. He said that everyone around him has a window seat except for him. My mother put the blind up in the window and I told him that he also has a window seat, that mom had the blind down because he was sleeping. He then looked out the sunny window. He seemed happy with that. He also commented that he was going to step out and go down to the lobby. Maybe thinking to his past and that he was going to try to sneak a cigarette? I don't know... Some of the things that he says are the "funny Pop" that I know and love and it is very reassuring to hear that side of him.

He cannot move very much by himself still- cannot sit up and lifts his head very little. He can move his arm and leg on his good/right side. They moved him to the rehabilitation floor and he will start 3 -45 minute sessions a day, starting tomorrow. They have him slotted there for two weeks, then will do an assessment and decide if he will stay there, or they may move him out of the hospital to home care, or a nursing home. It depends on if he tries to do the therapy or not. They moved him into a chair and fed him applesauce. He drank from a straw but couldn't swallow it very well.

Today when I was moving his toes on the paralysis side I asked if he could wiggle his toes and he did a little. That made all of us very happy.

I likely will not go tomorrow as it is his first physical therapy day and my mother and sister will be there. I think that he will be extremely tired, and I'd rather if he was able to take enough time to rest.

Any ideas or advise or comments that you have are welcome. Thank you all!

 
Old 06-01-2010, 09:10 PM   #9
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Oh, and one more thing that made my heart feel warm... I played some Dean Martin for him and one of his favorite songs was on "Volare"... and he sung along with it for a little. I hope that made him feel happy!

 
Old 06-01-2010, 09:56 PM   #10
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

So much of this is so familiar. My mom is going through the same thing. You can read my thread on her progress. It is going to take time but I think he will improve daily. Just keep encouraging and keep everything positive. Tell him there are many people pulling for him on this forum!!

Last edited by Plumeria5; 06-01-2010 at 09:56 PM.

 
Old 06-01-2010, 11:10 PM   #11
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Michelle,
I found music to be very soothing to the brain & since leaving hospital I've learnt that there is a lot of medical research being done on how music helps the brain rewire itself.
In rehab it was found that brain injured people performed psych tests better & faster if they were listening to good music. Not headbanging music I presume.

 
Old 06-01-2010, 11:18 PM   #12
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Talk to him, and move and stretch his legs. Tell him you know he wants to talk but can't b/ not to worry, he will be able to when he's ready. Let him SLEEP, I think the nurses waking him is terrible, they did it to me and it was very frusterating. Likely that he is not in pain, and on a side note, I had been paralyzed on my left side and got it back. Through the years I would get random tingling and pulling sensations on that side, b/ acupuncture actually helped me a great deal.
Best wishes for your family, there is a lot of hope for a good recovery, just be patient.

 
Old 06-02-2010, 05:43 AM   #13
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Hi Michelle,
That is really good news about your Dad. I know how scary it is in first few days of the stroke. That is really funny that he sang with a song. What a good sign. Like I said, I am 99% sure he is total aware when he is awake, he just can't say exactly what he wants to say. He will probably say some funny things, don't worry, just laugh. I used to love people laughing at my silly things. I didn't remember my wife's name. When she told me "My wife it Anita." I looked at her and said. "That just doesn't sound right to me," and we both had a laugh. It still took me a week after the hospital before I could remember her name.

Another thing I forgot to say is another symtom from a stroke is alot of smiling when you wake up. Don't think he's "loopy". I have heard that some worry that there love one is smiling all the time. Hey, just enjoy it and remember these memories.

It is just wonderful to see your father responding some and I'm sure it helping you ease as well.

I just love to see when a stroke survivor starts responding because I was right there in that bed too not long ago! It is a long journey, but every little step is one more step to recovery.

Please keep in touch with his progress,
Blessings,
Tim

 
Old 06-13-2010, 09:11 PM   #14
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Hello Everyone, I hope this note finds you all doing very well!
I wanted to write an update on my dad- He is still in the hospital, I believe he will be discharged next week due to insurance does a maximum 4 weeks for strokes and we are looking into an aftercare patient therapy home because he is still unable to even help to get in and out of bed, eat, drink, use the potty, etc.

He has made extremely slow progress, but none the less, it has been progress! They were giving him Ritalin as they thought that it would make him more alert as he was sleeping so much (I tried telling everyone that sleeping was OK to do after a stroke- but who am I?!) Anyway, they wanted him to take the Ritalin and be more alert in order to progress more quickly in physical- speech- and occupational therapy. I think that it backfired because it made him even more sleepy and groggy. So they went back and forth to see if it would work like they wanted it to 2x, and thankfully, they have taken him off of it.

Last week he had a Gtube inserted so that he can be fed that way. They had a lot of trouble with the feeding tube through his nose and kept trying to adjust it- which is very painful for the patient. One day they took 8 x rays to check on the placement of it, meanwhile, adjusting after each x ray. My mother was about to loose her mind because she didn't want my dad to have to suffer so much and she was very angry at the doctors and nurses because they couldn't get it right and continued to try for so many times. I think that was the hardest day for her so far. She is a very strong woman- she is the strongest person I know, but that day I could almost see her tremble.

His memory of things in the past is very good, but he doesn't retain current things. Like he doesn't remember that I visited him yesterday- but knows who I am and seems happy when he says hi to me. He usually does not retain that he is in the hospital or that he had a stroke. If you ask him where he is he says, an institution. For a while there he thought he was traveling- that he was in an airplane, or in a hotel and kept wanting to go to the lobby.

He tells me that he is very bored. That everything is so boring, and even the therapy is boring. He is tired of laying in bed- he has for almost a month now. Though, his left side has paralysis and he cannot yet assist in moving out of bed- to a chair, etc. He cannot yet hold himself straight up when he sits- they are working on that in therapy. He leans right over to the left side and someone always has to sit next to him and hold him up.

He has left side "neglect". We try to make him look over to the left as much as possible. I feel awful asking him to do such strange things- like, hey, Pop- I'm sitting over here, can you look over and find me?" And turning on the tv on that side of the room so he has to turn to watch it, etc. I don't want to confuse him or make him feel bad or humiliated. I love my pop so dearly.

He can't quite swallow right now- however I asked the nurse if he could have coffee (decaf), and she said it was ok, I asked him if he wanted some coffee (him and I have a coffee bond...) so I used a sponge thing that they use on him and gave him several of them and he did work on his swallowing and seemed with the small amounts do OK with it. Tonight he wanted a cappuccino, so I went to the machine and got him one- it was a machine cappuccino, so not necessarily the best... He really enjoyed it. I was so happy to let him have something that he likes to actually taste!!!! To want to swallow it because it's one of his comforts. He had about 7 sponge-fulls. He was even able to use the towel and wipe what I dripped on his chin... without anyone telling him or asking him to do it. It was like he knew what was going on and could react to it naturally. That's the first I've seen of him doing that so far. I was happy to see it. I hope he was happy, he doesn't really show any emotion. Once his eyes welled up with tears, but that was the only time I really saw or heard emotion from him.

Thanks in advance for any input you guys have. It's so helpful and comforting to hear your stories and experiences. You have given me confidence, and hope and most of all a good awareness as to what a stroke does... I think the patients perspective is the very most interesting side of this condition- and the side that I feel more medical professionals should pay attention to!

Bless you all,
Michelle

 
Old 06-14-2010, 03:32 AM   #15
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Re: dad had hemorrhagic stroke- what is he feeling/hearing, etc?

Hi Michelle,
Thank you so much for giving us an update. My heart goes out to you and your father. I know it must seem like years, but it is still early in "stroke time." I know that Janet who writes here alot was asleep for a year. Even sitting up and sipping a little coffe is good progress. It sounds like his stroke hit his left and right side. Left side being thinking and right being mobility. I just had my stroke on the left side which let be able to move fine and I am grateful for that. It is hard enough dealing with the emotional side let alone having to deal with physical problems as well. Has he had am MRI? Just wondering what it said.

Them giving him Ritalin sounds strange to me. I know that my brain wanted me to sleep and it told me when I wanted to wake up, I would. I think Janet my be able to say more about that since she was asleep for so long. I has said here before many times, that at times a doctor can't possible know what is really going on unless he experienced a stroke his/her self, so there is alot of guess work because every one is different.

His short memory loss is very normal. I would not be too worried about that, it will come back in time. I could not even remember my wife's name for a week, and as a matter of fact, I didn't know anyone's name except my own. I am sure my wife was concerned at the time, and was so happy the first time I said her name without asking her what it is.

About your father tearing up, I am sure that he does want to cry. I cried everyday for more that 2 months straight. The life you knew is gone in an instant and it is a very hard to re-adjust your thinking prossecess. He may get angry too, but I have found that it is anger about the situation, not about any person. When he might get emotional, just let it happen. That is a part of recovery. It took my wife awhile to understand "why are you crying, or why are you angry?" She finally got it that is was just a thing that happens and just let me go and I feel that helped me alot.

I am also sure you dad knows what is going on. It may not seem to you, but he does, he's just confused, that to will get better.

Please keep us all posted on his progress,
God Bless,
Tim

 
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