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Old 05-08-2011, 12:48 PM   #31
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Hi Linda,
I am sorry about your situation, but like Janet said, it is very common - the new family situation. I wish there was simple answer to make it all better, but the fact it is that it is not an easy answer. It takes a lot of work for everyone involved.

I guess the hardest thing for our loved ones is they "want you to be what it used to be." It can never be that way again, but you can make it better. with a little time and patience and understanding, your life will be better than it was before your stroke.

I totally understand the hurt it feels to you when some one says your stroke isn't true. I think I get hurt the most when some one says "oh, it's your stroke excuse." Lord that hurts and you really cannot say anything back, so you just have to take it, because no one could ever understand unless it happened to them. So Linda, I have no answer, except that we all understand how you are feeling, and that can get you another day to keep going.

I hate to hear when a stroke screws up the family too and the kids, but it does. That is just what happens. I am talking to another person on a different forum with this exact same thing, and I had to deal with it too with my wife and we still do on occasions after all of this time. I hope I helped some and didn't make it worse. Sometimes I don't know. I always have to read what I write 2 and 3 times and then read it the next day to make sure I didn't say something stupid. But my heart goes out to you and you family and hope you all can hang in together. There is love and hope and happiness on the other side, but is a hard journey.
God Bless,
Tim

 
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Old 05-08-2011, 01:02 PM   #32
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Thanks Janet. I did start one thread one time but it was not a personal log or anything. Although a progress log does sound like a good idea.

Linda. I have the same issues with my girlfriend. She was very supportive at ist but now wants everything to be normal again and does not think I should be so tired. I have stopped telling her everything I am going through.

I would not feel bad about going to the ER you did the right thing. Better to err on the side of caution and that would have been a real reason for concern from anyone. Now that it has happened you can better detect panic from the real thing. I had thought my stroke was a panic attack and thats why it took me days to report it. Its a real source of anxiety knowing that there was a time when It was not all in your head.

I don't know what the answers are. Sounds like from others here its just simply a matter of time, experience, and taking each day as it comes.

Last edited by max55; 05-08-2011 at 01:04 PM.

 
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Old 05-09-2011, 06:21 PM   #33
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Linda, if you get this.

How do you know the difference between a panic attack and a stroke? Now that you had both is there a distinct difference? I was thinking, from what you described how would anyone know the difference? In case it happens to me I don't know.

thanks.

 
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Old 05-10-2011, 01:46 PM   #34
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

hi, i am a 66yr old male, i had a major stroke just over 3yrs ago which left me paralised down my left side. i was a selfemployed builder/decorator, a very enerjetic work aholic life and soul of the party, the day of my stroke, i got up as usual for work and as i was walking around my left foot felt limp, but otherwise okey. i had to get some materials to some men on the site, which was 25 miles away, but on the way while driving i started to feel a bit sickly, i carried on and gave my men their materials and returned back home were my wife took me down to see my gp. he took my blood presure and told me to go straight to the hospital. i can remember sitting in the waiting room and then wakening up in a room with doctors and nurses around me, they had been zapping me with the paddles i was in a bad way and so confused at not knowing what was going on, i am now retired and feeling worthless and if i could have one last wish. it would be to slip away quietly in my sleep.i am not a religous man, i dont believe in heaven or hell but i have asked if there is a god or if there is a saten to come and take me. i am sorry if i have upset anyone with my comments i dont mean too. so i will say good night for now regards dunwack

 
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Old 05-10-2011, 04:39 PM   #35
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

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Originally Posted by dunwack View Post
hi, i am a 66yr old male, i had a major stroke just over 3yrs ago which left me paralised down my left side. i was a selfemployed builder/decorator, a very enerjetic work aholic life and soul of the party, the day of my stroke, i got up as usual for work and as i was walking around my left foot felt limp, but otherwise okey. i had to get some materials to some men on the site, which was 25 miles away, but on the way while driving i started to feel a bit sickly, i carried on and gave my men their materials and returned back home were my wife took me down to see my gp. he took my blood presure and told me to go straight to the hospital. i can remember sitting in the waiting room and then wakening up in a room with doctors and nurses around me, they had been zapping me with the paddles i was in a bad way and so confused at not knowing what was going on, i am now retired and feeling worthless and if i could have one last wish. it would be to slip away quietly in my sleep.i am not a religous man, i dont believe in heaven or hell but i have asked if there is a god or if there is a saten to come and take me. i am sorry if i have upset anyone with my comments i dont mean too. so i will say good night for now regards dunwack
dunwack,
Please don't say you are apoligizing for any thing you wrote here. I promise you did not upset anyone you wrote here. as a matter of fact, everyone knows exactly how you feel.

I thank you for telling your story here. All of our stories are different from a stroke, but I can tell you that all of the feelings are the same to all of us.

I do remember you from a long ago writing here. i am very happy you came back. Your story makes me think about a lot of what happened to me. I had my own business too and had to sell it after my stroke. I also was the life of the party. I really was just like you. i would make games for everyone to play and I always make them play charades or whatever. and I was always the first one to have the first funny comment on every time and made everyone laugh and smile. and then it was gone in an instant.

So I have to re-invent myself after my stroke. You can do it too dunwack, my friend. You write here whenever you need too. We don't care about your writing or grammer. you just let us know how you are feeling after your stroke.

You did a big step by letting you emotions here. So just let it go. A stroke is a very more understood thing that many don't understand, except those that have had one. So you hang in there my friend and you have others that will listen and know how you feel.

Please don't worry about your soul and heaven and hell. I know in my heart that there is a better place for all of us. Try and get better for yourself for here now and we all can help each other. You are not alone dunwack, you have friends here. I hope that helped a little for you mate.

If I am wrong about this, I will buy you a beer in Heaven and we can talk about it more up there

God Bless you my friend,
Tim

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Old 05-10-2011, 10:32 PM   #36
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Dunwack,

While I certainly despair over your words, and the depth of the emotions and experience behind them, I appreciate the strength it must have taken to put your feelings into words and share them here. I only hope that there is something we can say to show you the depth of our understanding and compassion for you.

While I have received in depth treatment for the emotional damage my 4 strokes created in my life, and I have not forgotten the sense of despair that I had fallen into, as well as the battle to overcome those feelings. While I could not ignore the physical losses my strokes left me with, the emotional damage I found a way to deny for several years. I am quite sure that without the instinctual power of motherhood bringing me the desire to protect and nurture my children, that I could have gotten lost in my grief over my lost future and never would have gotten out. So I can truly understand. The time frame in which I was in the deepest in my depression was similar to your place in recovery, from the 2nd to fourth or fifth year for me.

I am now in my 8th year of recovery, and 3rd in reading and writing here, with the support of our other stroke survivors. I would have to say the last 3 years have been most significant in my recovery, once I found this place to break out of my isolation. Once I found my place here amongst my true peers in stroke recovery, I have blossomed. As with my medical care, I keep just as close an eye out for my mental health care, knowing what a big part of my daily life both play into.

I understand your position and only hope to offer you my support...and if possible give you a glimmer of the other side of things. With due respect,

janet

 
Old 05-12-2011, 01:56 PM   #37
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

hi tim, a big thank you for those comments, i have been away from the health board for some time and it feels so good to be back. i was 63 when i had my stroke, an age when i was looking forward to my retirement and spenging time with my two gransons. i did want to take them to disney world in florida and just to be a proper grandad. i have the best wife in the world with whome i have been married to for the last 44yrs, been the shell of the man i once was, i am missing out on so much of life. i can honestly say, i dont want to go on much longer i am not living but just existing. so thank you tim. i will look forward to having that beer with you i just hope they sell guinness in either of the establishments. bye for now, regards pat/ dunwack

 
Old 05-12-2011, 02:49 PM   #38
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Hi Janet, Casey, Lee, Tim and Max...I read all your posts and all of your kind words make me feel so good. It's nice to know that I'm not alone going through this horrible moment of my life. This place is an oasis for my soul. Everytime I come here I know I will have someone to listen to what I have to talk about and help me go through everything. I want to do the same to all of you if I can help anyone here I'm more than willing to do it. I love my new family = YOUS ALLLLLLL !!!!!!!!!!!

 
Old 05-12-2011, 02:54 PM   #39
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Hey Dunwack,
yes I love guinness. I don't get it much because it is really expensive here. But you know what? i will buy one tomorrow and think about you and have a cheer up with you.

You are fine buddy. don't let it all get you down. OK? This whole thing is very, very hard and complicated. Don't give on hope, please.... You are right there now with hope in your hands. I appreciate what you did for a living. It really hurts when it is gone. To be honest it sucks. but you are a good man and can get over this. I did and I am stupid most of the time. even before my stroke. ha ha. so you can do it too. Hey, I will tell you when I get the guenniss . I havent had one in awhile, and this is good time to get one.
Tim

Last edited by Positive Cynic; 05-12-2011 at 02:56 PM.

 
Old 05-12-2011, 03:03 PM   #40
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

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Originally Posted by lindmar67 View Post
Hi Janet, Casey, Lee, Tim and Max...I read all your posts and all of your kind words make me feel so good. It's nice to know that I'm not alone going through this horrible moment of my life. This place is an oasis for my soul. Everytime I come here I know I will have someone to listen to what I have to talk about and help me go through everything. I want to do the same to all of you if I can help anyone here I'm more than willing to do it. I love my new family = YOUS ALLLLLLL !!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Linda,
Don't worry my friend. as far as helping others, you already did it.

Last edited by Positive Cynic; 05-12-2011 at 03:07 PM.

 
Old 05-12-2011, 03:10 PM   #41
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Hi Max...

Sorry for not replying sooner to your question...Unfortunately everything related to panic attacks I'm an oasis of information since I spent most of my life dealing with them...It's still fools me...I call it my BEAST...Panic attacks can mimic any kind of illness that one person is scared of...Some panic attacks can even mimic heart attacks, strokes anything you can imagine. As of me on that specific day where it did mimic a stroke like episode, I was sitting at my computer when all of the sudden I felt weird and weak and these symptoms immediately scared the living hell out of me which immediately triggered a huge sense of panic where all of the sudden my left cheek, my left arm became lightly but not heavily numb (my OK side). I screamed out loud that I was having another stroke and to call 911 and I laid down on the floor. My heart was pounding hard and I had problems breathing. A few minutes after I had laid down on the floor I noticed that I wasn't numb anymore and was feeling ok except for my fast and hard beating heart. I went to the ER just in case but was sent home and told that it had been a panic attack...BTW...A few days ago I had the same thing happen to me again and this time I didn't call 911 and waited for it to pass and remained much more calm and it did go away a few minutes later. I went to the doctor today (I had an appointment) and had my Paxil raised up a little to fight the anxiety I'm having regarding all the stress of having another stroke. Hope this answered your question...If you have some more don't hesitate to ask.

Linda

 
Old 05-12-2011, 05:44 PM   #42
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Thanks Linda that does help.

I don't if this is a good idea or not but when I feel anxious I try the "coordination test" i.e. if I can move my fingers like I have been and can write and stuff then I know its just me.

Anxiety really is kind of a disease all in itself.

 
Old 05-13-2011, 07:04 AM   #43
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

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Anxiety really is kind of a disease all in itself.
Absolutely. Anxiety/panic attacks can be totally crippling.

I had a few panic attacks after my husband died and they were very frightening. I didn't want to take any drugs, so I learned to concentrate on my breathing until they passed.

 
Old 05-13-2011, 08:12 AM   #44
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

Chloe,
I am so sorry about your husband is gone now. That is so sad and I know hard to deal with. But you seem like you are doing well, I hope your friends here can help some and make you smile sometimes. I have told my wife Anita that I hope we can "go together" Because I don't know if I could live without you. So my heart goes out to you Chloe.

I also have panic attacks. it was nothing about my stroke. Believe it or not, I played in bands for years. And I could have a panic attack, while playing. It was so scary. I had to eventually stop playing live music because of my panic attacks. I felt like I wasn't there but kept on playing for some reason. if that makes sense.
Tim

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Old 05-13-2011, 03:47 PM   #45
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Re: I had a stroke and need to talk about it

My lady friend admitted to feeling panicky while on the phone with me. Interesting. I bet a lot more people than we think feel anxious and panicky without ever admitting or talking about it. I have this thing where I get panicky in back seats of cars. I just tell everyone I get carsick back there.

 
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