This is something I thought up this evening, and I thought I would share it here.
"Morning has become my new nighttime, afternoon my new morning, evening time my family time, and nighttime is ME time! Time for everything and everyone. I am no longer wiped out by dinner time, and zonked out by 8 o'clock"!
Since my accident on December 28th (serious lung injuries and broken bones), I have adopted a new schedule that has really helped me. The accident has reeked havoc with my already severe sleep apnea, which was one of the side effects of my strokes. While before the accident, and ever since the strokes nine years ago, I have needed so much sleep to operate..since the accident it has become even worse.
The injury to my lung has made the act of breathing a full breath almost impossible, making my apnea's even worse. As a result, I have come home from the hospital using oxygen at night, and still needing a good 12 hours of sleep at night.
Somehow in the process of my recovery, I have found myself staying up late at night to do my writing, which I typically spend several hours a day on. Using the nighttime when everyone is asleep seemed kind of weird to me at first, but now that I have accepted it, I have found how well it works for the entire day too.
I am fortunate that I do not have early morning obligations anymore, my children are grown up. I can easily make any appointments I have in the afternoon. This way I am very relaxed and ready to cook dinner with my family without being worn out already and then enjoy the evening time with them until they all go to bed early.
Once the night time comes, like now.. I am able to do all my correspondence (which I do a lot of) without any interruptions. which really makes it much more enjoyable and i can take my time on everything and still get it all done nicely.
I must admit, I have spent much of my life thinking that a schedule like this is just wrong. much due to my military upbringing, where early to bed and early to rise was simply a rule in life. Maybe by writing this tonight, I am finally stating my choice that this is OK and right for me.
I just lost both of my parents a few months ago, and then this horrible life threatening accident..I have had some very serious soul searching and maybe this is just my way of putting a new life together for me. Who knows why I posted this, but thanks for listening.
The Following User Says Thank You to writeleft For This Useful Post: Mulchie (02-12-2012)
Thank you for that post. I am glad you can confide on all of us in your feelings. You have been through so much in just a few months it is quite amazing. As far as your new schedule, I sure would so go for it. If you are able to do it, then do it. I personally still can't sleep very well at night since my stroke. But with my wife just started a new job and one child in school still at home, I have to do that "schedule". So I lay at night all long and I actually think of things I wish I could write, but I don't wont to wake any one. So I toss and turn all night and I finally start a good sleep around 5:00 a.m. But by 6 everyone is awake, ready for the day.
Well, just so you know, I am no slouch. I cook Anita breakfast every morning. While she is in the shower and getting ready for work, I cook her fried potatoes sausage and 2 eggs over easy with one slice of toast. I also make her lunch for work. Anyway, I am not complaining at all. I love to do it for her and I love her. but it is the sleeping thing that kills me. By the time she is gone, I can't go back to sleep.
So my point is, enjoy your new "schedule". There is nothing wrong with it at all. Our strokes make our lives different. It is not good or bad, just different. So go for it buddy. By the way, you forgot the "s" on schedule on you new posting, but I wont tell anybody.
Whoops, I just did.... You know that you are on a stroke forum, so you get lots of mistakes for no penatlies. I probably wrote a bunch of mistakes myself on this post ha ha!!!
Hope you and your loved ones are well. It’s good to see you’re found yourself a good routine. Hope it works out for you, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us,
Pre stroke, I used to wake up at 4:00am to do all my office work. I was fortunate that my office was at home. I called it “MY TIME”, no phone calls, emails, faxes, or people to disturb me. It was amazing how much work I’d complete in the two hours before leaving home to go the building sites.
All the best
Funny... after "declaring"" my new schedule, I realize what more it signifies than just my choice to do what I want to do. It's more than that. It marks me reaching the point in my life in which I no longer need to live for my children's needs. Although I have always loved everything I do for my children, I no longer need to wake up for them. With a solid 29 years of parenting under my belt, I no longer have someone waiting for breakfast, or to find their shoes, or pack a lunch or anything!
I also no longer have my mom expecting my morning call to see what she and my dad had planned for the day. Every day at 10am, was our phone call. Yes, we missed a day here and there, but that would mean a call by noon instead. No one is expecting me to call them, in fact I have asked Chad not to check in on my from work, at his morning break.
Instead, I often end up trying to sound super awake when the unwanted sales call start at 10:00am and I am sound asleep!
My next step is to go back home. I have not been home since the day I left for the desert on December 28th, 2011. Little did I know that day that within 12 hours I would be once again fighting for my life. I am only one little mile down the street, I have been by once or twice, but not for long, It seems like a thousand miles away. I am not even sure what the issue is. My son has been going back and forth between the two, and had done a great job keeping the house in great order. i am sure it is better that when I left. He has had his share of "get tog ether's" on the weekends, which is fine with me because I love all his friends and they are completely respectful, I think it has been good for him to have a chance hold down the fort, but he still sleeps over here on school nights. All the same people are welcome at either place, and we have great dinners here every night.,
I am really comfortable and happy here, and it makes is so much easier for Chad to take care of me here, In the past, he has been coming by my house every morning before work at 4:30 in the morning to get my my meds and do my vitals..Now he would have to add doing my O2 machine and checking my breathing...all before work,,With me here, he can do all those things before he leaves his house., The same goes after work and school. I would like to be out of the hospital bed before going home. We have plans to do some major household work for the new year, and a hospital bed in the middle of the living room doesn't work in my minds eye.
Boy , I never planned for this to all spill out! But now its out, and I am not putting it back in. It would never fit back in,
Not to mention, my day has ended and it's off to sleep for me.
Its very liberating isnt it when we make a stand and say HEY THIS IS ME NOW and Im happy with that. It makes us feel like we have some control. Its awesome that you have the courage to do whats necessary and go beyond what you were raised to believe is best and change it. Oh I love good Change it makes us grow it fills us up with a feeling of accomplishment and renewed energy. It makes us feel young and in control. I take my hat off to you my dear and thanks for the post. Makes us all think about our schedules that are maybe better suiting other people not us and we really need to change that.
God Bless Mulchie
So sorry about your accident and especially the loss of your parents. I too have lost my parent and know how painful that can be. I think any schedule that works well for you is a blessing right now. So you keep to it and have fun with it. You're a night owl now! Owls are very very wise you know!
Oh my gosh,, another one of those times you write a great well thought out response that get s lost before making it to the post. I will leave it alone and try to come back later and re-write it. Where do those lost posts go anyway?
i dont think being up all night is so bad. ive stayed up and wrote at night a lot. my husband worked nights and my 15 year old daughter thought slipping out the door or window at night was awesome. so i was wide awake and made a few space sifi stories at night. guarding the fort so to speak.
Had a little scare that took me back to the Emergency Room, but thankfully I was able to be released back home tonight. I spent the previous 24 hours with a low grade fever, nothing too bad, but enough to concern me that I could be developing some infection in my damaged lung, and I know how quickly that could turn back into something major, so not taking any chances I went in. The x rays looked good, which was a huge relief...the very idea of that chest tube going back in scared me to death,.By far the most painful experience in my life.
So, back home and once again everyone is asleep but me. Still cant seem to get enough sleep, once I finally go down, waking up is almost impossible. It is scary. Tomorrow I will go back to get the results of my sleep study from last Wednesday night. I cant imagine what they have in store for me. I know that 12 hours of sleep in too much, but my body simply shuts down for that long, no matter what I try. I do wake up for periods of time in the night, but when the early morning comes, that is when I seem to just fall into a coma like sleep that lasts for 4-5 straight hours. Thankfully, all my sleeping hours are recorded on my cpap computer chip, so my doctor will be able to see the whole thing, as long as I can keep the think on me. There are times when I think I am awake and take it off, and find myself waking up several hours later with it in my hand. They ask for at least 4 hours a night on the machine, but I do regularly get a good 10+ hours every night on it. Anyone else with a cpap?
This (accident) recovery has reminded much of my stroke recovery...which I still consider myself to be in too, even after all these years. As long as I am still learning and growing about my strokes, I consider it recovery. With the lifelong issues that continue to affect me, my strokes continue to live on.
So, off I go to check in on everyone else here, and see how we all are doing on this day of love...