Thank you for always posting such kind feedback. Today dad had another good day at rehab and my mom said his thinking and speech was even better than yesterday. I've yet to see him due to work (I work at night 2 nights a week and we can't see him until after 2pm) but am seeing him tomorrow evening.
My mom says that he is extremely weak and has lost a ton of weight. He's a very picky eater and has been refusing some of the meals at rehab or eating only a slight bit. We need to get some weight on him and nutrition in him sooner than later as he's very shaky on his legs and barely makes it to the wheelchair. I'm bring him some snacks tomorrow, making the pie for Sunday and my mom is bringing him dinner he enjoys tomorrow as well. Any other suggestions of what we can do?
The following user gives a hug of support to orangeblossoms: goingtorun (04-27-2012)
G’Day Orangeblossom ,
Hope you and your loved ones are in the very best of health. I know you are racking your brains out, thinking of the very best way to help your dad. That’s what you do when a loved one is sick. You do your best; you can’t any more than that, there is no quick solution.
Just be patient, stroke recovery is slow, there no time line, for example like the recovery of a broken bone. The best advice I can give you, is try you’re hardest to keep his spirits up. The first couple of weeks into my recovery I was so down, I didn’t know what were to become of me. Gradually my friends gave me hope for the future. Don’t ask me what they said to me, I can’t remember, but what I do remember is I felt there was hope, whether what they said was true or not. I was blessed to have a friend that was a stroke survivor of thirty years and over that time he had made about a 90% recovery. I cannot remember him ever saying negative to me, even to this day. Gradually I had enough hope that I threw every ounce of energy into rehab.
Slowly o so slowly I started to make some progress, mind you it was not always forward. I honestly believe there is no medicine that can be subistued for high spirits. I’m no doctor; I just wanted to share with you what got me through the early stages.
Please keep in touch, all the very best.
God bless
George
G’Day Orangeblossom ,
Hope you and your loved ones are in the very best of health. I know you are racking your brains out, thinking of the very best way to help your dad. That’s what you do when a loved one is sick. You do your best; you can’t any more than that, there is no quick solution.
Just be patient, stroke recovery is slow, there no time line, for example like the recovery of a broken bone. The best advice I can give you, is try you’re hardest to keep his spirits up. The first couple of weeks into my recovery I was so down, I didn’t know what were to become of me. Gradually my friends gave me hope for the future. Don’t ask me what they said to me, I can’t remember, but what I do remember is I felt there was hope, whether what they said was true or not. I was blessed to have a friend that was a stroke survivor of thirty years and over that time he had made about a 90% recovery. I cannot remember him ever saying negative to me, even to this day. Gradually I had enough hope that I threw every ounce of energy into rehab.
Slowly o so slowly I started to make some progress, mind you it was not always forward. I honestly believe there is no medicine that can be subistued for high spirits. I’m no doctor; I just wanted to share with you what got me through the early stages.
Please keep in touch, all the very best.
God bless
George
Last edited by goingtorun; 04-27-2012 at 01:39 AM.
Reason: sorry for posting the same message twice.does anyone how to delete
Thank you, George, for your advice. I'm so glad that you had such wonderful people around you to encourage and push you through your recovery! We've definitely been encouraging dad and keeping positive around him. That man is determined to recover the best he can. Yesterday my mom came into the room and saw him trying to put his own shirt on! Between his weakness from having no caloric/nutritional intake for almost 18 days, and his paralyzed arm, he was having a struggle but he was trying his best. My mom did end up helping him. He was also trying to use the TV remote with his bad hand! He really is determined and giving it his all, and he knows that it's a slow process. We remind him of this so that he doesn't get too frustrated. The problem we're having though is his weakness from lack of food for so long. He's all skin and bones now (he was a thin man to begin with) and it's so hard for him to even stand up. We're hoping that with the physical therapy and with some food in-take that he'll start to get stronger but his weakness doesn't seem to be getting any better. It doesn't help that he's such a picky eater and refuses some of the meals they give him. This is why we're bringing in our own snacks and some meals for him so that we know he's eating. He has an appetite, he just won't eat what they give him.
His weakness is more worrisome than any of the after effects of his stroke right now.
Thats great
Your right about getting him the food he likes. You can buy "Boost" drinks that are for people who are missing meals. It might be an idea if you can get him on to drinking some. They are just filled with vitamins and minerals very good for you.
Im sure your dad appreciates all that you guys are doing for him. So glad to hear continued good news.
God Bless Mulchie
I think we're going to start him back up on the Ensure that the hospital had him on. They were mixing it in his milkshakes and he was drinking it. Thank you for the suggestion! He actually ate really good yesterday while I was visiting him and was speaking well. He's still confused at times, has the worst short term memory, and uses words completely wrong (he used 'intimate relationships' instead of 'hide' yesterday - it was funny and he knew it was wrong after) at times but there is a definite improvement.
Today my brother visited him and saw him doing his therapy sessions and said he did great! My dad is loving the physical therapy but hates the speech therapy. He also likes to act up when we're there so he was rolling his eyes at the therapist... Typical dad. We were told there wasn't therapy on the weekends so my brother showed up early, otherwise he wouldn't have seen him doing it. Anyhow, he said he did great and then walked, with a walker, from the therapy room to his room! Sure, it was a short distance, and he was slow shuffling but it's more than he's done. My brother was very impressed.
We also just learned today that he has blind spots on the right side of each eye. We don't know if they are permanent or temporary. They don't seem to bother him too much but it explains why he keep things to the left side rather than the right. If it's permanent he'll figure a way to adapt, just as with everything else.
It's still the beginning of recovery, and there's a long way to do, but he's improved a lot in the past few days. Whether there's more improvement, we don't know, but we're so proud of how far he's come so far. Especially since he's had 3 strokes, with the last one being close to fatal.
Last edited by orangeblossoms; 04-28-2012 at 10:24 AM.
After a great weekend with dad, where things were looking up and as though he had generally improved over the course of 5 days, we were given a bomb yesterday by the rehab doctor. The doctor told my mom that the type of stroke my dad had has left him believing that nothing is wrong with him and that he's not trying to better himself during therapy and getting frustrated because he truly believes he is fine. Due to this she says that what we see is all the improvement we are going to get out of dad, that he'll have to be moved from rehab to a nursing home to live at the end of his stay in rehab and that he could never live at home unless there was constant supervision. Unless he starts to truly believe that there is something wrong with him he'll never change, never get better, never be able to live a "normal" life. Normal meaning, the new norm for him and all of us.
We never expected to hear this. We knew that he'd never work again, never drive again, that things would never be the same, and that his therapy would be continuous but we thought he'd be able to come home. We thought that when home he'd be able to make-do alone for a part of the day.
After speaking with the doctor my mom had a long, 3 hour long, conversation with my dad about everything that has gone on with him this entire month (he couldn't remember any of it), every detail, so that he would know how bad it was, how lucky he is to be here and so that he could understand that he does have many, many issues that he needs to work on. She explained to him that he wouldn't be coming home if he didn't change his attitude and truly, in his heart and mind, believe that he needs this help and needs to change. She said that he understood and was blown away at what he was told about what he's been through. She said that when she left there he was in good spirits and truly believed him when he said that he wanted to change and that he was going to do his very best to keep improving. She's actually on her way up to see him right now to check his attitude this morning. With his short term memory, we don't know what he'll remember so he could just go back to how he has been, attitude-wise.
Yet again our world has been turn completely upside down. No one ever said this would be easy, nor did we ever think it would be, but no one ever told us this either. Back on the roller coaster again.
My name is Janet, and I have been away for awhile, but I am now back and wanted to introduce myself and join the others here, supporting you and your family. I have read back through the posts you have made and your story is quite interesting to me.
I must say, I have never heard of someone thinking they are all right to the point of not thinking they need some help or therapy. I am the survivor of 4 strokes, which happened while I was snorkeling in the ocean. I am not a big believer in those who use that "never' word, as my experience has proven much differently. I had a lot of "nevers' thrown my way too, but after 9 years, I have "out-nevered" every one of those a long time ago. I dont know if "out-nevered" is really a word, but I hope you get the idea...
Please let your dads recovery takes it own path, and do not let anyone tell you what he will or will not ever do. He is way to early in his recovery for any "nevers".
Just for some encouragement, let me list some of the things my doctors said I would "never" do. Walk, talk, write, think clearly, drive, work, or live on my own. HA! I do all those things. Now it took me years to overcome the most difficult of the ones, but there is nothing I could not to if I wanted to.
I do not know exactly what type of stroke he had, and would not want to try and go against any information I do not have,. but I can tell you one thing for sure.. If your dad has the spirit that he sounds like he has, and the family he has, anything could happen.
There is nothing but hope ahead for all of us, I am proof of never letting anyone stop me from what I want to do.
In writing this, I have noticed that I have been mixing up lots of words in my writing. I had been writing lots every day until about six months ago, and I can see I need to get back to this place to keep my writing sharp.
I came here to re-learn to write a long time ago, and this is where I got so much of my recovery. I love this place, which is the people here so much, and hope you are getting what you need here too.
I am going to write a few sentences without correcting them just to show you what writing skills I have lost in the last six months.
In closeing I ahope to renow mcush of he hope and inspirtaiton that you ahve before learnign thsi new news forn yout doctor. yueasteerday. OUCH,, that is bad!
janet
The Following User Says Thank You to writeleft For This Useful Post: orangeblossoms (05-16-2012)
Hi Orangeblossoms- I can really relate to your story here. My dad had a stroke (one we think, possibly 2) in November. He's been in rehab for 6 months now and is coming home this Saturday (tomorrow). I too just want my dad back. Sometimes, we'll see glimpses of the old him but it quickly turns around and he is angry at my mom or I or barking orders at my mom to help him like she is one of the nurses. We keep telling him that he is coming home and therefore will not have 24/7 support and will need to do things on his own, but we have no idea if we're getting through. My dad too, like yours, I think believes that once he gets home he will be 100% back to normal. Now, I do believe my dad knows there is something wrong, but can not grasp the situation fully. We're considering putting him in a nursing home if no improvements are made soon. He is 65 years old. This has by far been the toughest 6 months I've experienced and you are right, this is a rollercoaster ride of hell!! I can't even remember what day or month we're in half the time. I wish you luck in your journey.
The following user gives a hug of support to Brinsy06: orangeblossoms (05-16-2012)
It's been a bit since I've updated but I wanted my dad and our family to get to our next point before writing in.
First I'd like to thank all of you for all the care and support you've given. You're all amazing and give everyone here so much hope that maybe, just maybe one day, things will get better and will improve. Never to be normal again, but to be as close as possible. Janet, your recovery and story is amazing. You must be a very strong woman to make it through all your struggles and prove the doctors wrong. You've come so very far!! I can only hope that one day my dad can be even close to the level you're at.
As for dad, he came home last Friday! After being told that "what we see is what we get" he proved them wrong. My mom had a long discussion with him (3 hours long) about all he'd been through as he had no idea. He honestly couldn't remember anything besides being in the first hospital, when he was admitted for a TIA (or so we though, it was a full blown stroke, 1 of 3). He thought he was where he was, rehab, to have his carotid surgery. After being told of everything that he'd been through, being told how close he was to death multiple times, he changed his attitude and started trying and wanting to get better. He went from not being able to walk to walking with a cane in 2 weeks. He went from having an extremely hard time with his aphasia to having some difficulties, just not as terribly as before (don't get me wrong though, he still has serious problems with the word finding and word misplacement). He's gone from having no use of his right arm to using it in daily life with just some weakness. He's gone from not remembering what he had for breakfast by lunch time to remembering things from a week ago and even bits and pieces of the other hospitals! He has a very long way to go but he's come so far already and we can only hope that with time and more therapy at home that he'll continue to improve.
Dad's main issue, personally, right now is that he's bored. He can read words but can't comprehend what he's reading if he's reading a newspaper or book. He loved to read the newspapers for hours each day. He's read every bit and piece of it. Our hopes are that in time, with speech therapy and as his brain heals, that his reading ability will come back, as long as his vision allows (he's lost right sided vision in both eyes). I think that being able to read would lessen his boredom. Besides that, he can't go anywhere alone, can't drive, and has become less social since the stroke. I don't know if he's ashamed of his disabilities, afraid that he won't recognize or remember people (although this doesn't seem to be an issue), or if his personality has just changed. We're trying our best to keep his spirits up but it's hard for us too. We remember who he used to be and seeing him unable to be himself is difficult. I can only imagine what it's like for him as well. My mom, brother and I are all taking turns with who is with him during the day. At first we were doing this because we were told he couldn't be alone (he's more than capable of being alone but the professionals say no) but now it's more for company as he would just be sitting there alone all day. It breaks my heart to see him bored or hear him say that he can't do this or that because "they" say he's "sick". By "they" he means the doctors and therapists. Time will tell whether he keeps improving and can start to lead a more normal life.
Dad was actually discharged from the rehab hospital 4 days early because of his vast improvements. All of the doctors, therapists and nurses were quite impressed by him, which says alot. The visiting nurse came by on Saturday and was impressed with how he was for someone that's been through what he's been through. This give us hope. Since being home he's seen two doctors, his PC and a neurologist. The PC was happy with his progress. The neurologist seems more concerned with his problems than with his progress. I think this upsets my mom. I explained to her that this doctor didn't see him before, doesn't know how far he's come and that it's the doctor's job to pinpoint the problems. Hopefully at his next appointment the doctor will see an improvement from today and be less critical in her assessment of his problems and more positive in what she sees as an improvement.
Anyhow, I know this is long but I wanted to fill everyone in. Today marks a month since the hemorrhage and 40 days since his first stroke. There's a long road ahead but I think we're finally headed in the right direction.
The following user gives a hug of support to orangeblossoms: coupe (05-16-2012)
That is just a wonderful update, and thank you very much for sharing your inspirational story..
From everything you said, it sounds like your dad is on his way back. He is still very early in his recovery, which for most of us goes on for years.
I would not spend a minute worrying about any doctors, as they are not there with him every day as you are. Just think where you were even two weeks ago! Just imagine what things will be like by mid summer or even better by Christmas time!
I agree that finding him something he enjoys for now is important, I remember the boredom very clearly and the sense of not being independent. The more you allow him to do safely, the better off he will be.
Have you tried very large print playing cards, or getting him a reading service for the newspaper? I know in our city, visually impaired individuals have lots of programs to help that are free. I would check them out.
All in all I feel very excited for you and your dad. Never give up hope and keeping his loving family near him will help more that anything in the world.
Keep us updated, your story will be very helpful to others who are seeking inspiration for their own family member, and other stroke survivors.
Hi Orange Blossoms, I'm sorry I'm coming in so late in your thread. but if you look at my track record? that seems to be par for the course for me. I usually come in last, put it in sports terms, I guess you can call me the pinch hitter, the bench warmer, the third string, even junior varsity? that being said, being last doesn't mean I'm less experienced or less knowledgeable in stroke recovery. just the opposite! I think? I'm one of if not the most senior member to frequent this forum? I'll soon be 62 years old- in August, and coming up on 20 years post stroke. I believe my accomplishments and improvements surpass anyone who frequents this forum? I think I'm the only one who visits here who was actually hospitalised listed as being brain dead? even listed as clinically dead for 8 minutes! my heart started back beating while waiting on the doctor to come to pronounce me, even 3 weeks later wanting to harvest organs. I attribute all my accomplishments to my determination, attitude, positive personality, and desire to better myself.
enough about me, on to your dad. I believe you'll find he'll do most of his recovery faster at home, in his known environment/habitat, where he is accustomed to naturally, not being told when where and how to do everything he does! he can learn on his own better than therapists can teach him physical and occupational therapists only know what they've learned from books and classes. a brain injury physical therapist is a whole nother specialty, there is no plateau to reach and be done, no bar to raise to set goals to be met, at home, he is the boss! the sky is the limit. he can set his own goals and meet them in his own time. there is no more "in 3 weeks you should be from point b to point c. it's now up to him and your family to help him along, and he WILL NEED HELP. he will get discouraged at times, that doesn't mean it's a set back, only there is more work to be done. it'll take time, but he'll learn to think, Analise and adapt to do the things he really wants/needs to do. at home he is on his turf, not other's he can learn ways to do thing the therapists and doctors/nurses have never seen or heard of. who cares if he puts his shirt on bad arm first? what matters is he gets it on! who's business is it if he wears shoes with velcro and no laces? if he is comfortable wearing them? I do if he should get that one handed way to tie shoes tight? send me step by step pictured instructions please!
has he been proven to be blinded to the right of both eyes? or does he just suffer from affected side neglect? it's not abnormal for stroke survivors to neglect the affected side, I had left side neglect constant reminders to look that way helps left or right when reading, a bookmark or any object placed to the right of the page reminding him to read all way to the object helps. reminding him there is food on the right side of his plate helps. part of the brain forgets there is even a right side if it's the affected side, weight bearing on every part of the affected side helps train the brain into acknowledging the affected side exists, causing the brain to try to heal it, standing/leaning on the affected limbs does a lot. a healthy die is a must also. egg yokes are supposed to be good for the brain? when I was in the hospital they gave me eggs for every meal fixed one way or another. but the yoke hold the most calories and not great for cholesterol. genko, is said to be good for the brain? but having lived near genko trees in the past with the smell of them, no way I'd intentionally put that in my body!
with all that said, you can kind of see why I go last? 4 hours to type this post one fingered! what would be best, is if you could get your dad on here posting his own questions gaining from those of us who've experienced everything he is or will go through. we don't care about spelling grammar or punctuation, periods,comma's or running sentences long? we just want to help those in need.
good luck and god bless
Larry/coupe
__________________
happiness is a way of life, not a goal in life, success comes in cans not can'ts
I thought I'd give another update on dad. He's been home for 3 weeks now and there's been a lot of improvement in that time. He is no longer walking with a cane (PT signed off on him), his right hand is starting to get slightly stronger (OT finally came even though PT said it wasn't needed... ridiculous!), and his cognitive abilities are improving a bit. When he left rehab he could write but it wasn't legible. Now he's writing much better, and while it doesn't make sense 60% of the time, at least he's writing and he's trying his hardest. His ST has labelled his word finding as 'mild' but has said that his main issue is categories, how the brain groups each set of similar meaning words/objects, and that loss is 'severe'. She's been working a lot of getting his categories straight but has said that she can't say whether it will get better as we don't know if the nerves that command that part of his communication are dead or need time to rewire themselves. His reading has also greatly improved. No, it's not even close to how it once was, but it's much better. The ST was impressed with his improvement from Tuesday to Wednesday this week! He's learning how to focus his eyes and head so that he can see the right side of the page (yes, his right sided blindness has been proven). He tries to read 1.5 pages of a book a day. What's great about his ST is that she has been in the field for 30+ years and was on the team that designed the stroke program that most of the US rehabs use! We didn't even know this when she was assigned to us, she filled us in, and it was a great surprise. In her 30+ years she's only met 2 people (1 being my dad) that have the type of aphasia he has. He starts off using the right syllables of the word he wants but finishes it off with a different one, making the wrong word. While this is helpful for us, as we can guess what he means, it's hard to treat as there aren't many cases like my dad. Leave it to him to have a difficult case. Haha
While his aphasia can be humorous at times (he told my mom that he took a REEFER in the bathroom the other day... he meant RUG!!!), and he'll laugh before we do, he becomes very frustrated at times as well, and I cannot blame him. He says often that his head is messed up and there's nothing left in there. This kills me and I try to tell him that all his intelligence is still there, we just have to work on cleaning up his head a bit. He doesn't agree and just says that everything is gone. He is working his best though and isn't giving up. He does all of his exercises and homework multiple times a day. He's truly trying.
Now I need some advice, if possible. Today my dad told me that my mom gets very aggravated with him when he uses the wrong word or has to be reminded about the same thing over and over again (short term memory is still scarce but improving). I can tell that this hurts my dad just from the way he told me. I also know that to be true as my mom has said that his aphasia, memory and personality change drive her crazy sometimes (he's very demanding now at times and also has NO verbal filter...). I told my dad that it's not his fault that he uses the wrong words or can't remember, to not be worried about it, and that she's wrong for acting that way. What I'm looking for is some advice on how to go about bringing this up to my mom. I don't want her feelings hurt either but she needs to know that this isn't helpful and that he cannot help but to use the wrong words as he has a disability, one he's trying to overcome with much effort. I've already told her previously that this is how he is now, we have to live with it and that him being this way is much better than him being dead. She agrees, she just can't help but to feel the way she does. Understandable as I would give anything to have my old dad back but showing your aggravation and frustration isn't going to help him, it's only going to make him feel worse. He already feels badly about it and says that he's sorry he did this. I tell him there's nothing to apologize for, that no one plans or chooses this to happen. Anyhow, any advice would be helpful. I feel stuck.
Thank you all again for everything. While I am distant, I am always thinking about all of you and check in often on everyone's threads. It's wonderful that you're all able to do everything you do. Especially since most are written off by doctors as soon as the stroke strikes.
I also have another inquiry. Any ideas on what would make my dad randomly, and then continuously, hum? He'll randomly start humming a made up song and will keep going at it for hours. Some times it's very loud. I've asked him what he's humming or why he's doing it and he doesn't realize that he is doing it! He will then catch himself doing it afterwards and say, "I don't know why I'm humming". He used to hum in the shower all the time before the stroke, so humming is semi-normal to him but he would never hum outside of the shower. He also says, "HMPH" with his mouth closed over and over while he's watching television. Not sure if he realizes this or not. I don't want to ask as I think my asking about the humming made him uncomfortable. He now says he's think he's "going nuts" when he catches himself humming.
I don't even know if there is an answer about either but I thought I'd throw that out there. Maybe someone here does this as well or knows of someone that does. It's perplexing to say the least.
Oh, the humming! I get caught doing it all the time, much more before than these days, but boy have i embarrassed myself with that one!
Once, I was on hold with a friend, and I just started humming this very weird song over and over. I had forgotten that I was even on the phone, and who knows how long I was humming. Eventually I hung up the phone, which rang again a bit later. It was my friend who was laughing hysterically, I tried to deny it, but how could I? I used to do it a lot, usually by myself, but even as recently as a few weeks ago, my husband caught me and thought I was nuts. I had to laugh, I am a terrible singer and hummer.
It never even crossed my mind until you mentioned it. I think I did it to soothe myself, now that I think about it, or to help me concentrate on something.
It sounds like he is on the right track, and you will continue to see a combination of steps forwards and a few back too. Thank you so much for the updates. I know it can get hard to keep it all going, but we appreciate all the stories that can encourage others. Lots of people read, that do not write, so for every response, know there are lots of others learning and enjoying your dads progress and supporting him in his struggles.
It's nice to know that the humming is something that you, as well as others, also do. His humming has dissipated a bit, but not a lot.
This week dad has been discharged from occupational therapy as well as the visiting nurse. While this is good, it's also bad as next up is speech and he truly needs all the speech work he can get. Insurance is urging everyone to sign-off as they don't want to pay for the therapy anymore. The speech therapist is trying her best to keep the therapy going but I don't think it's going to last longer than one more session next week.
Physically, you'd never know anything was wrong with my dad. Mentally, he's a mess. He can't remember how to do the simplest of tasks. Where to find things. What is wood and what is plastic. From what we've been told, and from the lack of improvements in this area, it doesn't seem as though it's going to get any better. He's not the man any of us used to know. It's as though he lives in his own little world.
I try my best to help out in any way but it's not enough. My mom has such a hate towards me and says my dad is verbally abusive towards her (I've never seen this, all I see is him not knowing how to do something and asking questions over and over), and that I can't understand as I don't live there. I just don't know what more I can do or what I can do at all anymore. My heart is completely broken and as much as I try to help everyone, it's useless.
Yesterday and today have been horrible, horrible days. I hate strokes so much. I hate what they do to people. I hate what they do to families. I hate everything about them. Wishing isn't helpful but I just wish everything could go back to the way it was before. Before April 6.
Oh my dear, my heart goes out to you. You are so frustrated and rightly so. I agree with you evaluation of Hating strokes and everything associated with it. They dont just change the persons life the stroke has a horrible impact on the entire family. We know this and share in your pain and frustration. I am so glad you can come here and pour your heart out, we all understand.
All I can offer you is hope. Your dad's very early in recovery and will continue to show improvement. Because the recovery is slow in progression its very hard to sit and watch their frustration as well.
It certainly doesnt help when you and your mom are frustrated with each other. It sounds like your mom is having a difficutl time coping.
You are trying so hard, and you love your dad so much I can tell in your posts your heart is breaking. Please dont give up on yourself or your dad. I will continue to keep you in my prayers and remember, keep hope alive. It is all we have to cling to sometimes but with hope comes the belief that recovery will continue and life will get easier for all of you. Hope ignites the possibilities of healing and moving forward. With hope comes faith that tomorrow will be a better day. God Bless Mulchie
G’day Orangeblossoms,
HATE is putting it lightly; I wish I could describe the feeling I have toward strokes. It’s crazy, unreal, angry, confused etc., etc. All I know it hurts.
I’m a stroke survivor and also a carer for a loved one that suffers from dementia and is bed ridden. The caring is 24/7 and is shared among the siblings. Even so, there are days it’s so frustrating, because you don’t know what to do for your loved one. There are days it’s hard to communicate, not knowing what the person is trying to say to you, you feel helpless. Sometimes words are said that no one really means, there just born out of frustration. In the heat of the moment people say thing they really don’t mean. I can understand what your mum and you are going through. The pressure your under would be enormous, believe me I know.
Like Mulchie said, it’s still early days in your dad recovery, he’ll well improve, how much and how fast, no one knows. You just have to hang in there. Time cures just about everything, try to be patient. You have to be there for each other, sometimes it seems impossible, that’s when you got to dig deep.
I hope your dad keeps improving, and you all stay in good health and sprits, and remember you can always vent as much as you want, right here. There’s always some here listening.
George
The following user gives a hug of support to goingtorun: Mulchie (06-16-2012)
It's been a while since I've been here but it's not because there hasn't been anything to report, my life has just been so crazy!
Dad has been doing well. His speech is improving every day and he's almost back to the weight he was before he was hospitalized. Luckily, he's still getting speech therapy and hasn't been cut off by insurance yet! We're thinking the time is coming soon though... Insurance companies are evil. Unfortunately his sight has not improved at all. He had a neuro-eye appointment and it was confirmed that the damage was done to his nerves, not his eyes, and that it's highly doubtful it will come back. This means he cannot work nor drive, which is hard for him to take. Other than that, he's doing well and the doctors are impressed. Unless something happens he doesn't have to see any doctors or specialist for 6 months.
Being as he cannot work due to his eyes and cognitive issues we have started the long process of filing for disability. Or, should I say, the long process of 'wait and see'. We're all crossing our fingers that he's approved as we really don't know what my parents will do without the second income. You think you've gotten through the tough stuff once you've worked through the stroke but then there's a whole other can of worms...
Ok, so I know that I said my dad has been doing well but today was alarming. He has a terrible time with his words, his memory was worse than usual, he was slurring a bit, and his voice was weak. This frightened me terribly, especially since he noticed it as well (the word finding/memory issues). I had noticed the night before when I was visiting that his voice was weak but he had just gotten up from a nap (which he has not been doing at all) and I wasn't sure if maybe that's how he is now when he awakens. I mentioned my concerns to my mom and asked her is she thought he was "normal" today and she said no but that she wasn't concerned and would keep a watchful eye. Later in the evening my mom took his BP, which was normal, and said that he had made them dinner and he's just tired. I know there can be good days and bad days but he hasn't had any bad days since coming home from rehab and I'm so terrified that something is going on, that he's having another stroke. I'm constantly worried that he'll have another stroke as I know the risk is so high and his decline today worries me a serious amount. The fatigue, memory issues, and elevated aphasia difficulties is so worrisome to me. I brought up going to the doctor to him but he was against it. Am I wrong to be worried? Is this just a bad day? Can you have normal BP and still suffer a stroke? I think I'm going out of my mind... :/
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: orangeblossoms goingtorun (08-05-2012), Mulchie (08-15-2012)
We were told there wasn't therapy on the weekends so my brother showed up early, otherwise he wouldn't have seen him doing it. Anyhow, he said he did great and then walked, with a walker, from the therapy room to his room! Sure, it was a short distance, and he was slow shuffling but it's more than he's done. My brother was very impressed. 
Janet, your recovery and story is amazing. You must be a very strong woman to make it through all your struggles and prove the doctors wrong. You've come so very far!! I can only hope that one day my dad can be even close to the level you're at. 
