I know I've asked this from time to time and believe me-I am sick of having to ask! We're about 6 1/2 months into dad's stroke recovery and he still cannot walk on his own. The best he can do, and not every day, is get to a standing position from the bed or wheel chair with assistance. He walks with the help of PT and his left arm is completely paralyzed with no feeling in the hand at all. Anyone out there still off their feet at 6 or 7 months post stroke? Know of a loved one in the same position? Is it going to get better than this? I would love to hear your experiences as I am struggling to stay positive each and every day.
Oh and maybe another piece of advice could be offered? Dad doesn't realize that he needs to work hard to get better. He really, truly believes time will make all of this go away. His favorite thing to say is: "When this curse leaves my body I'm going to do x,y,z." When asked by us why he doesn't want to do exercises on his own to get better, he tells us he's tried that and it doesn't work so he's not doing it. Any advice to get through to him? I've tried stern lectures, threats of nursing homes, etc. Really nice of me huh? Thanks everyone!
The following 3 users give hugs of support to: Brinsy06
goingtorun (06-02-2012),Mulchie (06-07-2012),Positive Cynic (06-21-2012)
Hope you and all of your family are well. Feel free to as many questions as you like, as many times as you like. As you know, no two strokes are the same, I learnt very early in my road of recovery you can’t play the comparison game.
A good friend of mine, who was a stroke survivor himself, said to me “do you like how you are now, give up on yourself, and that’s how you’ll stay. You may or may not get any better, but you don’t want get old and wonder that if.”
Your dad has just begun the long road of recovery, 6 to 7 months is not a long time. I had a clot in my brain stem on the 18/ 03/2010, and I still making improvements, all being very small ones. Sometimes I actually go backwards instead of progressing, that when you really have dig deep and keep pushing yourself. Remember any excise is better than none.
Never give up; you have to keep positive around your dad. I know without the support I had around me, I would have found it very difficult to keep on going.
I hope I was able to help, please keep in touch.
Last edited by goingtorun; 06-02-2012 at 06:13 AM.
The Following User Says Thank You to goingtorun For This Useful Post:
Positive Cynic (06-21-2012)
Please, feel free to ask and ask and ask anything on your mind. That is just what we are here for. As goingtorun put it so well, stroke recovery is reliant of keeping moving, keeping going, keep trying, do not give up.
In my years and many many posts with stroke survivors, I have learned a few things that i hope will help you. The first one is, much of recovery depends of the individual that we are talking about. Before the stroke, was your dad a fighter, a go getter type? If so, that will give him much of what he needs to push himself through this. He will need to dig down deep and pull that up from inside himself. If you can help him do that, do so. It might take a talk like goingtoruns friend gave him. A kick in the behind kind of talk, and inspirational talk. He must find it in himself.
As far as your question about the time frame you are in with him, you are very very early in his recovery. I just wrote a post to some ladies here about the days when I was still humming, rocking, and speaking my own language! That was probably 3-7 years into my stokes. I am now in year nine. I still can fall into some of that when I am tired! I was still falling down several times a day at year two and three. I refused to give up. I kept standing up, stayed close to the walls so I could slide down again, and stand back up and walk again. Everyone around me was petrified, but I kept going. By my 6th or 7th year, I began riding my motorcycle in the desert again. Life is to be lived, especially when you have been given a second chance at it.
I must say, it has been a very long time since I have even thought of much of this. Even though I post almost everyday for years and years now, things still keep coming back when I ask myself to remember. Thank you for reminding me just how far I have come, and I hope a bit of it will help you inspire your dad to come back to his life, remind him you are waiting for him.
Hello I am so glad you are asking questions. Ask as many times as you want. We will always listen and always try to help. Your dad is so early in recovery. I know it can be so frustrating when you cant get someone to understand. But the stroke changes the way we look at things. It changes the way we evaluate things. For example, before my stroke I could tell you at any given time exactly how much money I had in the bank. Down to the penny. I never missed a payment or paying a bill. I never bounced cheques or short changed anyone in payment. Well since the stroke its a whole new ball game. My poor husband who has never done the banking is scrambling to do it because Mulchie doesnt care how much is in the bank, I know there are bills to pay but I forget, dont think its important,figure I will deal with it tomorrow. When my husband asks me to phone someone or research something for him I say ok dear. But then it never happens, dont remember, dont care, dont do it. I use to have a very busy job where I multitasked beyond, Now I cant do math or do more than a few tasks at once or I get a head ache and off balance and its crazy.
When I read your post I could hear your dad saying the same thing as me. Taking a very easy going "I dont care" additude. But it really is the stroke and the way his brain now things. Now in saying that Im not saying he will always be that way. I am just hoping to help you understand how he is thinking about it. He is still very early in stroke recovery. Doctors tell you if its not healed in 3 months its not going to be and that just simple is not true, Continue to help as much as you can. Make sure he is always pushing forward to increase recovery. Get him all the help you can,
I am 2 years in recovery and I went from wheel chair to walker to cane. Now I only use the cane when I go out. It didnt just happen in the first three months it happened over time.
Dont be so hard on yourself. Being a Caregiver is so hard especially when its someone you love. Please post here and ask as many questions as you need to. Vent if you need to or just let us know how you and your dad are doing. God Bless Mulchie
Since standing for a transfer is something he can do, start with that. Tell him before he stands that you want him to stand a little as his muscles need weight bearing. Then, whatever time he is already doing it (5sec?) stretch it to 10 sec for 4 days, then 15 seconds. Standing is the first step to improve on to make his legs and balance ready to do more. My hubby started (feb 29) with his complete right side down, and took a bad hit to his speech center. Also has right sided blindness from looking strainght ahead and to the right, in both eyes.
He is walking with a hemi-walker, if you don't have one, you need one. Any other cane type is not giving the support of this. I was able to get one (free) at the local senior citizen building, where things like this are donated by relatives when a senior dies.
He can not just get up and walk around yet. But he can raise from the chair with assistance and walk with a gait belt and person to spot. (hope you have one of these, as they are crucial in spotting them, so they don't fall). I call this practice walking.
He will just sit there and not work if I don't instigate it and go over to him and say, "Ok, we are going to do this or that now". One of the things that has helped him a lot, and easy for me to do, is when he lays down in bed (on his back) I can do leg exercises and they are not so hard, since I am standing, rather than trying to crouch on the floor. I bring his knee up to about like an 'L' shape, like his lap would be when sitting. I then do a few with his leg straight, and then with his leg straight and going left, then right. I have to hold his knee in, so it doesn't splay outward. At first it was all me doing it, but now he is doing most of it.
Last edited by Sandy Caregiver; 06-20-2012 at 06:34 AM.