Yes 'tis me - your long lost amigo. I apologize for such a long absence, but you that know me, know that it must be something serious for me to be gone for so long. And yes it was. It was not physical, but emotional and the pain I have endured the last 2 months has rivaled the emotional and physical pain from my major stroke in 2010. I did think it was impossible that anything could hurt more that the loss of half of my brain and being unable to read or write, or even remember my wife's name.
So you may wonder, what could hurt as much and be as scary as a stroke and the loss of your faculties and your livelihood? It is the loss of LOVE! I don't mean a loved one I mean LOVE itself. But this is not a sad story at all my good friends. This is a story of hope and renewal. First I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful posts and the love I could feel from all of you. I am 100% honest that your love and prayers really are a big reason why I am doing so well. Actually better that I have felt in a long time. And will tell you that your prayers were not in vane. Your prayers have worked and were answered. What I have found out through my life that God does answer prayer, but it is never the way we imagined it to be. If He answered the way we wanted it answered, it will surely be a trainwreck of our own making. But God's answer is always a way for us to grow, learn wisdom and be closer to Him. It is up to us take His answer and accept it, or became bitter and angry. These things only hurt ourselves. Bitterness and anger don't effect only one around us and sure as heck doesn't effect God - it only hurts ourselves and it hampers our growth and it really can stop our stroke recovery in its tracks. The first hurdle to jump over to become a true Stroke Survivor is acceptance. I admit this is not easy to do at all. But to move forward, you must accept your stroke and live with it and not live against it. You newbies here may not like to hear this from me. But my stroke was a gift. It took quite awhile for me, but I finally realized that my stroke made me appreciate the simple things in life. A beautiful sunset, an amazing starry night, a simple smile from a stranger that says hello, the majestic wonder of a 150 year old oak tree - and the list can go on and on. God's handy work for us to enjoy. And yet in the 21st century, we rarely have the time to look around us, because the bills are due, and this red light is way too long and some jerk just cut in front of me and that idiot at the store shorted me 35 cents and the computer has a virus and my cell phone battery just went dead and the dog just crapped on the carpet
So as I came back to the forum (my home away from home) I see so many newbies that I wanted to say hello and welcome you and assure you all that it will get better, believe it or not, it will get better. Just keep coming back. You don't have to post if you don't want to, but just read and know that you are not alone. You are here with friends that understand your pain, confusion, and loneliness. So this is my welcome to all of you newbies all at once. Though I don't like to do it like that, but I don't have the time right now to address each of you individually, but know that I am with you in spirit. And hopefully I can get back here more in the future. But I have personal things I have to do through most of the summer. I would like to close with something I read just last night in my quiet time:
"Sometimes it almost seems that God doesn't want us to be happy here on Earth, that He demands misery and suffering in this life as the price of happiness in the next. But God wants us to be happy right now here on Earth, and even points out the way. Sometimes, however, we refuse to look where He is pointing.
The trouble is that most of us think happiness consists in the fulfillment of our wants and desires, or at the very least in freedom from pain and suffering. Actually, it consists in the serenity that comes from conforming our own will to the Will of God. We achieve happiness by forcing ourselves to accept what God wants for us.
Thank you all again for your support and for being my friends.
God Bless You All!
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: Positive Cynic Casey991 (06-13-2012), goingtorun (06-14-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to Positive Cynic For This Useful Post: goingtorun (06-14-2012)
great to hear from you, hope you are as well as can be. things have a way of sort them self out. some times it not the way we want, but we can't change the unchangable, hang in there mate, theres a lot of people pulling for you mate.
I don't know, maybe I look at things in a different light, or maybe I'm not thinking straight.
I can accept the stroke happening to me, but i can't accept the way I am now. I feel if i accept this new
'normal" its like giving up on myself, I what my old normal back,if it takes me rest of my life. I too have become more appericative of every thing around me, i thank God every second of the day for my life, and the recovery I've made. I'm not disagreeing with you, I may not even comprehed what your saying, I too lost a big chuck of my brain. Here I go off on another tangent.
Man we just got to keep it together, some times it seems impossiable.
Tim I hope you achieve everything you set out to do, God bless you, and thanks mate.
Last edited by goingtorun; 06-12-2012 at 04:07 AM.
So good to hear from you my friend. I know your struggles and you are an amazingly strong person. Thank goodness you have your faith. Like George said we just have to keep it together. I like your evaluation of Happiness. You are so right. Trying to accept Gods Will and move on and live the life he has laid out for us. That is the most difficult. When we have to move forward at a time when we don't understand, we are scared, and we are in pain and we just have to trust God for our next step. Yes thats that hard part.
Always in my prayers and looking forward to seeing you more frequently on the stroke board.
God Bless Mulchie
Welcome back Tim,
It's great to have you postingagain, We have all missed you & the help you have given to us in our struggles and I'm sure I speak for most of us here that we can all be of help & comfort in your present struggles.
The following user gives a hug of support to eemgee: goingtorun (06-14-2012)
So nice to hear your post on happiness...So nice to hear from you!
I am finding myself at a loss for words, so I will have to catch up in another post. I am so happy to know things are proving to be right with your world, even if they are so difficult. Sp often we have to get to the other side of things, before we can look back and get the proper view. Good old fashioned life experience at it again!