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Old 03-15-2013, 02:12 PM   #1
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Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow...

I just don't get it. After everything that has happened to me & my kids, how does he get to move on? I really feel sorry for his new wife. I know this is not the site to complain about this, but how to meet someone new when you walk funny & can't move your arm? I can't move on, why should he be able too? Alberta

 
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Old 03-16-2013, 05:50 AM   #2
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow.....

Hi Alberta,
You can move on even though it may not seem like it right now. This can be a blessing to you if you look at it differently. Every big change in our lives are a time to grow mentally and emotionally and a time to lean 100% on God. I too was divorced after my stroke. As much as it hurt, I had to learn how to make care of myself and guess what? It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I learned that I was strong when I was weak, just like Paul the apostle said.

It is fine to grieve for awhile over your loss. But don't get stuck there. Depression and resentment will keep you sick physically and emotionally. I know that you are a sweet, sweet girl and hate to see you hurt like that. Don't worry about finding a new partner. You take care of yourself and the right person will come to you. Someone will see your strength and goodness. Those are very beautiful qualities that a lot of people are attracted to. You deserve better and God sees that too. There is never anything easy that is worth much. You hang in there my friend.
God Bless you!
Tim

 
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Old 03-16-2013, 06:07 AM   #3
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow.....

It is just I know what he is going to do. He is going to take me to court & try & take my 2 youngest kids away from me. That is how he works. He can't do anything on his own, he has to have a woman there to take care of the kids. That is what he did with his oldest son. And to this day, that kid does not like him. He had a miserable childhood. I have done nothing wrong, all I do is take care of my kids. I don't want them to suffer because of him.
Tim, I know God has a plan for me, I am just waiting to see what it is.

 
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Old 03-16-2013, 11:13 AM   #4
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow.....

Hi Alberta,
First of all - your ex isn't winning, and neither is his new wife apparently. Second, you are a survivor! Please understand that I speak as a tough Yankee woman who was raised by an amazing woman who, at age 39, was widowed and left with four kids. The oldest being brain damaged at birth and not exactly welcomed into society back in 1959. And, I was barely two and had two brothers. But my mother was one tough lady and refused to raise her family the way everyone else thought she should.

Second, it's okay for you to be mad that you are left with struggles while your ex gets the easy part. And it's okay for you to be mad at your body and how it has betrayed you. I understand that. Anger is okay - for a brief moment. But you have got to accept it and put it away. You have been through so much at a young age, probably more than most of your peers. You are strong and if there is going to be a battle over your kids, put on your boxing gloves and be ready to fight for them.

Lastly, and I'm so sorry if I coming off as preachy, being part of this post and giving support to others proves that you are a kind and generous woman. Don't be embarrassed by something as silly as a limp arm. Put yourself on the other side. Would you be turned off by a man who had the same disabilities? Not if he was a kind and loving person. Be proud that you have survived a stroke! Be happy and self confident and your beauty will shine through. Know that you deserve to be loved and it will happen.

As the old song says "I am woman, hear me roar!"

I wish you were here so I could give you a real hug, speak some encouraging words, and then maybe do your nails! Please hang in there.

Keep us posted - I'll be thinking of you,
Sue

 
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Old 03-16-2013, 12:03 PM   #5
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow.....

Thanks Sue. I really needed to hear that. Believe me he WILL have a fight on his hands. I will not give up my kids. Tim, I thank you for your words of encouragement.

 
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Old 03-24-2013, 02:36 AM   #6
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow.....

Alberta,

I am so sad to hear of the difficult times you are going through with your childrens dad. I hope the situation will be easier for you as time passes. There is nothing more painful than having your children in the middle of these things. I wish I had the right words to comfort you, but I do not.

I am really glad that you chose to share this with us, as we are a close group that want nothing more than for each of us, and our families to be happy and safe. We all have special insight into the added strain that stroke can have on every area of our lives, and your hurt and anger are completely justified.

Just so you know, we are behind you and are always here to listen..

 
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Old 03-25-2013, 01:06 AM   #7
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow.....

G’day Alberta 1967,
If i was in a fight i sure as hell would want you in my corner. Just the same we are all in your corner.
God bless you.
George

 
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Old 03-25-2013, 12:56 PM   #8
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow...

I know how you feel. I have been alone for almost 17 yrs. My husband and I seperated after he was involved in an affair. The woman died but he did not want to
stay with me. I moved out and have had my own place since '96. I see now that he has had many women since then but never asked me for a divorce. He does what he pleases. Thank God I am still able to work. This stroke has complicated my life, but Paul said in 11 Cor. "We are toubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed but not in despair, persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed." Take heart, my friend. Your ex will get whatever is due him and you won't have to be the one who will judge him in the end.
Some nights I am anxious and would love to have someone next to me, but I know
a loving God is there and is watching every breath I take.
You have friends here who will listen and lift you up.

 
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Old 03-30-2013, 02:48 PM   #9
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow.....

G;day Alberta,
Hope you are in good health and having a enjoyable Easter.
Wishing you all the best the world can offer.
Hang in there mate.
George

 
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Old 03-30-2013, 06:22 PM   #10
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Re: Well my ex is getting remarried tomorrow.....

Thanks George. I pray you & yours have a nice Easter too. Off to church in the morning, haveing dinner & egg hunt for the kids.

 
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