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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Message Board
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Old 06-12-2007, 03:40 PM   #1
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Its been a year since my daughter faith died from sids

It is almost a year since my daugher Faith died, she was just six months old and the best little girl in the world. She was so good, you would never know she was in the room with you. She always had a great big smile for me when i would go into her room to get her up. She just loved to cuddle into you and she would dribble all over you face, it was like she was trying to kiss me goodmorning. God how i wish i could have that just one more time/

She died on the 14 june 2006, at home in her own cot, i had put her down for her nap at about lunch time, she was such a good sleeper, but when i went back into get her up she was dead. I will never forget the feeling of dread as I walked over to her cot, i just knew there was something wrong but i never thought of this. She was soooo cold, that just sticks in my head, and i hate the fact that she was on her own, she must of been so scared.

I feel as though i have left her down. I had one job and that was to keep her safe and i failed. My family has been great but it just does not help. They have not been there and so they have no idea what this feels like.

I have a three year old son and he is still having some nightmares about that day, he was with me when i found her. Now every time he sees some one asleep he asks me if they are dead. It is like a knife in my heart.

I am trying to get my life back to some bit of normal, but it is soo hard, I miss her so much, my son is a daddies boy and she was a mummies girl. Our family was complete and we were so happy. Now i find out that i might not be able to have any more and it just makes things worse, i had this hope i could have amother child to help fill that void in my heart. Dont get me wrong i know that i cant replace faith and i would never try , but i do miss holding a child in my arms and getting that warm feeling when they smile back at you when you pick them up.

If only we could turn back time and maybe we could have done something different. I dont konw, i think i will spend the rest of my life wishing and blaming my self for what happened. I faild in my job to protect and keep her safe and i wish i could tell her just how sorry i am.


 
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:30 PM   #2
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cosmic1 HB User
Re: Its been a year since my daughter faith died from sids

Faith is a pretty name.
And, she sounded like a beautiful baby.
Do not guilt yourself, however that is such a normal thing to do.
You will never get over it but that you find some peace.
Some things happen that we simply do not understand and that we do not have to blame ourselves for..................................... ..........................

 
Old 07-07-2007, 12:35 PM   #3
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Callista HB User
Re: Its been a year since my daughter faith died from sids

I don't think she was scared... She died in her sleep; she probably went straight to heaven without noticing anything. It's not your fault--just keep telling yourself that until it goes from your brain to your heart. You gave her so much love--what child could ask for more?

 
Old 07-11-2007, 10:39 PM   #4
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Re: Its been a year since my daughter faith died from sids

Don't blame yourself. How could you have known? All I have to say, is that even though she may be gone from earth, she is in heaven, and there she will wait, untill the day you get there to pick her up again. When we feel love, it is not a thing of earth, it is a feeling that is carried by angels. And those angels are in heaven. She is in good hands, the lord does not withold his love from anyone, especialy not your daughter. Continue loving her... she will know. Just remember, she knows that you are sad and heartbroken over leaving, but she hopes that you can forgive yourself and go on loving her.

May peace be with you.

 
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