NVD

I wish I had seen this thread last month...
I'm so sorry for the pain you were feeling when you wrote this thread. I don't think that you should be 'over' your son's death. You will never be 'over' his death till the day you take your last breath. I think our society is so uncomfortable with grief...but when you're walking through it, you know that you will never be done with it.
I lost my daughter April 5, 2008 to SIDS. She was five weeks old. It's been a little over a year now, and each day is a struggle. Most of my energy is spent just getting through the days. In February, she would have been a year old. On what would have been her first birthday, I delivered her baby brother. He is my fifth baby (including Arianna)...and my grief is no different than yours. It hurts to the core...every fibre of my being is screaming in pain. My heart aches for her, my arms ache to hold her, my ears ache to hear her...I could go on forever. With that being said...I guess it's not easier no matter what side of the fence you're on--just give yourself credit for surviving such a tragic loss. Let yourself grieve the way you need to....no matter how many years it's been. I truly believe that there is no greater loss than to lose a child...no matter how, or how old that child was. It's so un-natural...the order is all wrong...parent's shouldn't have to burry their children. And I understand how important it is to keep his memory alive. 18 years doesn't take that away! You give me hope that in 18 years, I'll still be here, still surviving, although, still missing my baby. Thank you.((((Hugs))))....hope things are a little easier for you now.
Amber