I am a babysitter and on April 15th I had a baby die of SIDS while in my care. I am devastated. I have babysat children for the past 8 years. Although I only had this child for 3 days, I knew the family well. I babysat their older child. I know in my heart I did all I could, but I am having a hard time dealing with what I saw that day, and the fact that she is gone. She was just taking a nap, and when I went to wake her she was not breathing. I feel so bad for the parents. I also feel so much grief. I can not go to sleep without seeing that image of the baby when I got her out of the crib. Does this ever get easier? I started back to work today and my mind can not rest. I didn't want the baby's to go to sleep. I was checking them every couple of minutes. Not sure I can do this. Any words of advice?
Sorry to hear of your loss pepp. Listen to your own words "I know in my heart I did all I could". Part of life is dying. Sometimes it comes to quickly. Remember her for the 3 days that you did know her, not for the day she left. It will get some easier with time, but only you will decide when that will happen. Try not to hold this to tightly for too long.
The other babies need their sleep as you know, so you have to help them rest. That is your job. It's ok to check on them.
Even though we hear of SIDS a lot, it isn't often that we actually know someone who has suffered from this devastating syndrome. You have kept babies and children for 8 years and never had this happen, so I would say you must be a very conscientious babysitter. My advice would be to get into a support group of families and friends who have lost babies to SIDS. Even if the parents had been right there, the same scenario would have played out. Very sad, but NOT your fault. SIDS is no one's fault. Find either a good support group or a therapist who deals in this area. Be kind to yourself. It may take some time, but please don't try to do this alone with no professional help. God bless you, dear one! I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry that a baby died while under your care. I lost my daughter just over a year ago...and those last memories of her-the hardest ones to live with...are there with me every second of the day. The flashbacks are hell. Since I've had to join this 'club', I have met a lot of SIDS parents, and I have to say the majority of them seem to happen while at childcare....and usually within the first few days. I don't understand why...but just know that it's common with SIDS babies. There is nothing you could have done differently. Even if the baby had an apnea monitor on, you still couldn't have done anything. I soooo understand the feeling of wanting to check on the other babies every second. I had three other children at the time of my daughters death...and had another one just two months ago, on what would have been her first birthday...and even though the baby is on an apnea monitor, I still check on him constantly.
I would definitely join a support group, or get counseling. It's not something you should try to go through alone.
Hang in there...I hope things get easier for you as time goes on.