Re: in urgent need of a positive testimony; please read!
Hi Chris, First off, I applaud you for seeking help for your friend. That alone says a lot about you. I lost my daughter to SIDS in April of 2008. It's been almost 17 months for me....and I can tell you, it still pretty much consumes me. There really isn't anything you can do that will help that part. You have to let her go through the motions, and deal with her grief however she needs to....and for as long as she needs to. She will never, ever get over this loss...but she will learn to adjust her life in ways that make it more bearable. But even then, it won't ever be completely done. Grief is so circular...it gets a little easier, then out of no where will knock you flat again. Just be there for her, don't try to push her throuugh her grief, it can make her feel like she's doing it wrong, and can make it worse. Help keep her baby's memory alive by talking about him/her. She needs to hear the name, and that others think about him/her. Don't not talk about the baby because you think it will make her sad, in fact you might find it can do the oposite. These are just some things that I wish my friends/family knew about my grief. There is no pain worse than losing a child....especially so suddenly, and then getting no answers as to why.
I hope things have gotten a little bit easier for your friend by now. You're a good friend to ask for help.