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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Message Board
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:59 AM   #1
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(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Vancouver island B.C
Posts: 2
heartbroken mom HB User
i want my bf back

Hello there, I recently found this website and it has taken alot for me to finally do this so here goes. My boyfriend and I lost our 3 month old baby boy Wyatt to sids on January 12. My pregnancy was so unbelievably hard as I was sick for 8 months and honestly felt like I was dying. We wanted out little one so horribly bad and new that in the long run it would be so worth it. On October 10th I woke up at 5 am like any morning feeling sick to my stomach and hungry. I walked to the kitchen and in doing so became incredible dizzy and couldnt breath. I went blind due to High blood pressure and was rushed to the hospital by my other half vomiting the whole way. upon arriving at the hospital I began seizuring and Wyatt ended up being born c section 25 minutes later. I was completely out of it, the two of us almost died. We didnt Wyatt was rushed by helicopter by himself to the city for fear of him losing oxygen to his brain. I 5 days later met the most beautiful little man I had ever laid eyes upon, oh he was so worth it and after 2 weeks in the hospital we were given a clean bill of health and came home to start out life together as a family. We were the happiest family and we loved Wyatt so did everyone who he touched. Wyatt was thriving and gaining as he should, absolutely no complaints, On Jan 12 I found our beautiful man cold and lifeless in his crib. Why did this happen to us?? We did everything right and still he was stolen from us!!! My question is will I ever get rid of that horrible devastating image that keeps replaying in my head. Is there hope that we will get back something that almost resembles a happy life

 
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:34 AM   #2
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(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Turkey
Posts: 251
broodygirl HB User
Re: Please anyone tell me that there is hope!

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot imagine how you feel. So many women have to deal with this and I hope you can find a good network where you can learn to deal with it.

Maybe if you carry your favourite picture of your baby with happy pleasant memories attached to it and every time you have the other image, look at your picture and say to yourself, this was my baby, this is the baby I am going to remember. Try to make that image override the other image.

Really sorry! Cliche but terribly true 'ONLY TIME HEALS'

 
Old 05-20-2009, 07:32 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Vancouver island B.C
Posts: 2
heartbroken mom HB User
Re: Please anyone tell me that there is hope!

Hello, thank you for your reply. The happy picture idea is a great one. I am definately going to try!! I hope and pray every day that time will heal!!! Thanks

 
Old 06-05-2009, 10:23 PM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 121
Loud HB User
Re: Please anyone tell me that there is hope!

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbroken mom View Post
Hello there, I recently found this website and it has taken alot for me to finally do this so here goes. My boyfriend and I lost our 3 month old baby boy Wyatt to sids on January 12. My pregnancy was so unbelievably hard as I was sick for 8 months and honestly felt like I was dying. We wanted out little one so horribly bad and new that in the long run it would be so worth it. On October 10th I woke up at 5 am like any morning feeling sick to my stomach and hungry. I walked to the kitchen and in doing so became incredible dizzy and couldnt breath. I went blind due to High blood pressure and was rushed to the hospital by my other half vomiting the whole way. upon arriving at the hospital I began seizuring and Wyatt ended up being born c section 25 minutes later. I was completely out of it, the two of us almost died. We didnt Wyatt was rushed by helicopter by himself to the city for fear of him losing oxygen to his brain. I 5 days later met the most beautiful little man I had ever laid eyes upon, oh he was so worth it and after 2 weeks in the hospital we were given a clean bill of health and came home to start out life together as a family. We were the happiest family and we loved Wyatt so did everyone who he touched. Wyatt was thriving and gaining as he should, absolutely no complaints, On Jan 12 I found our beautiful man cold and lifeless in his crib. Why did this happen to us?? We did everything right and still he was stolen from us!!! My question is will I ever get rid of that horrible devastating image that keeps replaying in my head. Is there hope that we will get back something that almost resembles a happy life

I am so sorry for your loss. You sound like such a great lady. It's a shame we can't know/understand why these things happen. My 4 year old grandson is right now fighting cancer..Its the hardest thing I have ever experienced: watching him cry as he is being given chemo medicines that hurt so much. He suffers, and then at times struggles to just be a kid. Then other children just die...life can be so brutal. My advice: have more children. You sound like someone with all lot of love in their heart to give a child. Thankfully, your dear sweet child is not suffering now: and he would not want his mommy to ruin her life grieving...though it will always be in your heart...it's something you'll never get over. But go on, for Wyatt...be the best person you can be: in his honor...Debbie

 
Old 08-31-2009, 12:01 AM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 45
annelizly HB User
Re: i want my bf back

yes...you will someday have something that resembles a happy life. If you make the conscious decision to live again.

I went through the same thing and what saved me was getting pregnant again right away. The fact is, its hard to grieve forever when you have a new little one to take all your attention. To remind you how wonderful life is. That is not to say that it won't be scary, or that you won't be terrified that SIDS will happen again but this is where strength, faith and bravery come into play.

good luck and god bless

 
Old 06-14-2010, 10:10 AM   #6
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Garden Grove, CA USA
Posts: 82
mykinzie10 HB User
Re: i want my bf back

Yes u sure will. I lost my baby son kory to sids and its taken me a lot longer than it had to because I turned to alcohol instead of real help. Wasted years and more added pain came as a result. I am here now to share my story and hopefully help someone else. I cannot share a wonderful story that I'm proud of. I will only be honest and share with you only exactly what happened. Have you written the sids foundation? Do that. Plz keep writing hhere. What a wonderful healthy opportunity. I so wish I wouldve had something like this. Keep shqring and communicating. Good job to you! We care!! Sincerely. Marla.

 
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