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Old 02-04-2001, 08:56 PM   #1
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Location: harleysville, pa, usa
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kimberlylynn HB User
Question DESPERATELY SEEKING ADVICE!!!!

I have a friend, who i call psycho, (though not to her face) because she is practically stalking me. Everyday, she calls me. "Where have you been? Where are you going?" she says, as if she's my mother and I need her approval before venturing out. God forbid I can't go out every single night of the week, she needs reasons why and then makes me feel bad about myself for saying no. And considering I introduced her to my bestest friend and she loves her and is this way with her now as well, we (my best friend and I) feel as if we can't go out by ourselves without feeling as if this psycho is going to be angry. If we fail to return a call, she drives around looking for us, and explodes in anger or in tears. I tell her I am working or going out with my family and yet she still pages me, 911 and when I anxiously call her back thinking something is wrong she's like, "Hey what's up?" She doesn't realize that her clinging so tight is pushing me further away from her because my nerves are shot. Not only is she that way, but she is very sensitive, high strung and over emotional. She obsesses over things to tears, and can only talk about herself and her current problems, a boy who didn't call but said he would, "What does 'talk to you later' really mean?" I give her all of my advice and get the feeling she's unhappy with me because it's not what she wants to hear. I feel like a bad feeling for having these strong feelings but I'm so fed up and have no where else to turn. Can anyone help me please?


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Old 02-05-2001, 11:51 AM   #2
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Location: Hollywood, Florida, USA
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Ali6699 HB User
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Hi, i know how you feel in so many ways! its funny, because I used to call a girl "Psycho" with my bestest friend last year. And she to would also page with me 911 and call me now call me now! This "psycho" was very insecure and didn't have many friends. Unfortunately i have a lot of so called friends like yours and they all act like that for many different reasons. You should talk to her if it bothers you that much or else it is never going to get better. Tell her you like her as a friend and that she shouldn't get mad if you want to spend time with other ppl. From my experience, spending too much time with one particular person drives me crazy. Tell her you need a little break from each other in the nicest way possible.
Hope i helped
ALi

 
Old 02-06-2001, 08:22 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: King City, Canada
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Babernethy HB User
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This young person has a serious low esteem problem. We are all faced with 'questions about ourselves/lives/friends' throughout our lives. Many of us question relationships constantly...and want more from them. This person you speak of is trying desperately to hang onto friends, without realizing that she
is actually putting a strangle hold on you and making you not want to be near her. Her actions are that of a person crying inside for attention, and she is probably feeling rejected because of your 'scared away' feelings toward her.
Sit her down and talk to her. She is more afraid of losing you as a firend than you are of her 'blowing a gasket'. Tell her your concerns and make her realize that she is getting no-where with her ranting and raving.
She is attempting to rule your life...don't let her do this. If need be, get rid of the pager, and have her calls blocked, if all else fails.
I wish you good luck. This will be a very trying experience.

 
Old 03-01-2001, 02:36 PM   #4
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Chicago IL, USA
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Melissa941 HB User
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I have had 2 people in my life like this. One was my best friend last year. I evenually just had to cut her off. Not return her calls. Wait a day or two or three or four. She got the picture. Ignore her pages. Stuff like that.
The other one i dated last year. We were really great. Then everything, why werent u online when i was? Where were you? You werent at your friends houses...it was creapy. I also called him a pysco. I broke up with him and he begged, literally... i just had to cut off contact completely.
IT IS NOT NORMAL AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL!
cut them off. Or put distance between you and them. YOu shouldnt feel guilty for having your own life.
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