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Old 03-13-2003, 03:42 AM   #1
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Exclamation Do I have the Right to be Angry? Important...

So being a college student...people drink. So a few days ago this one guy, (my friend my dormmate), was really drunk and throughout the whole night he kept trying to kiss me. I told him stop, I don't to kiss you. He kept trying relentlessly all night. At one point he tried again, and I told him stop, no, and he told me "Forget you (deleted)" and he took his hand accross my cheek twice (like in between a hit and a shove). I didn't make a scene...what was I to do? I punched him in the shoulder and he wandered off somewhere. Yet again later when we were in the same room with other people, he did the same thing. I've been mad at him for a few days now, haven't spoken to him, he's come to try to speak to me, but I refuse to because I'm angry at him. He upset me earlier in the week as well. Am I allowed to have all these emotions? Am I overreacting? Do other people that I've spoken to think I am overreacting? What do you think I should do? Thanks.


[This message has been edited by tntmod5 (edited 03-18-2003).]

 
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Old 03-13-2003, 03:53 PM   #2
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i take it your a girl.(i hope) I would super ****** if someone tried to do that to me. What if he had taken if further? You need to tell him that it freaked you out and that you are not interested in him if that is the case. Or just tell him to F off and if he ever does it again... followed by a threat. YES, you have the right to be ******

 
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Old 03-13-2003, 04:42 PM   #3
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Of course you have a right to be angry. Who wouldn't be if their friend and dormmate acted like that? What he did could be deemed as assult...

Why don't you sit down with him in a couple of days (so you both have a chance to cool off) and talk to him about how angry you are and why and how you don't want it to happen again etc). It's pretty hard to be angry at a roommate forever, but he needs to know it can't happen again.

 
Old 03-13-2003, 05:45 PM   #4
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You have a right to be angry, but don't by any means judge his normal character by what he does when he's really drunk.

Take me for instance, I'm usually a very quiet and shy individual, but when I'm drunk I'm a completely different person. But I would never harass a girl, even when I was drunk.

If he wants to apologize for his actions, then you should accept the apology (so long as he's sincere), but you have every right to not talk to him until he takes the initiative to apologize.

 
Old 03-13-2003, 05:49 PM   #5
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Yes, I am a girl. And I dunno, I just think some people think that I should just let down my guard. They're like it's not like you got raped or something. Which is true. But the fact that him being a pretty good friend, and a dormmate of mine...makes me feel differently about it...I don't know...

 
Old 03-13-2003, 05:56 PM   #6
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In reply to netviper13, that's the hard part. He's very sexual even when he's not drunk, but it's all fun and games. He's a nice guy. I guess this time, I don't know what he was thinking. Yeah, he's come over to me saying, Can I talk to you, but I refused to, because I didn't want to. But I told my friend who talked to him telling him that, well she'll let you know when she wants to talk to you. But she's not going to approach you.

 
Old 03-17-2003, 02:15 PM   #7
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BettyRose HB User
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1. Yes, you have the right to be angry
2. You need to talk to him

I get tired of people using the excuse "ÖI was drunkÖ" - that's just what it is an excuse. It is not your fault he was drunk and acting like a jerk. If he was sober, would've it been tolerated. I doubt it. So, everytime he gets drunk he is entitled to do things he normally wouldn't - No, way.

You need to stop ignoring him and discuss this with him. He obviously likes you or at least wants to "be" with you. Maybe he has confused your friendliness as flirting. I don't know I wasn't there. I don't know how either of you "normally" act. But if he is a true friend then discussing this with him won't hurt - it'll only help make your friendship stronger.

 
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