Am I just paranoid? Should this not annoy me so much?
Well, about 1 1/2 months ago, I broke up with my b/f and lately hes become so clingy! First of all, we go to the same church. He didn't know how to get to this new place, so he called me up and said he'd follow us, he didn't ask if it was ok, he just said he'd follow us. I said how bout I give him directions, but he just kinda ignored me. Secondly, we have a church gathering every sunday morning and we meet in homes. (I know it may kinda sound strange, but it isnt! Just so you guys don't comment on our church.) Out of all the homes that we meet in, one of them is ours, out of many others near by. But he calls me up, and asks for directions to my house. Then after sunday morning, we go to church with everyone at a community center. (Everyone from all the homes.) Except our field is not going on at the moment, so he asked after our sunday morning meeting if he could give me a ride. Although, I declined.
Plus, he's called me up and asked if he could come over to show me his new car, ask if I wanted to go see a movie or do something. Etc etc.
Plus hes been emailing me a lot too... I ended up just emailing him back that I don't think we should do anything, and just that I need time and space.. and no matter what NOTHING is going to happen between us. Then, he replied, and said that was probably a good idea. BUT.. he emailed me later and said he wants to hang out with my brother sometime (They're not even friends, but they're the same age.) What the heck? This is REALLY getting on my nerves, and even though I wasn't planning on getting back together with him, he made his chances even worse.
What should I do? And should I not be so bothered by this?
~Qweeny
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Quitters always lose, and winners never give up.
I think you might be imagining it a bit, but maybe i just dont understand it much. Personally, it sounds like hes just trying to stay friends. a lot of times, when breaking up, people are most worried about not staying friends. anyways, give him a chance, unless you dont like him as a friend, i dont see why it should bother you
Tell him he needs to give you some time before you can develop a friendship, tell him again that you need space, and want time to yourself. He does sound a but crazy so no I don't think your paranoid, but he just needs to be told firmly to leave it alone.
We kissed on our first date, which isn't really my thing. Plus he said I love you a week into the relationship. (So you can kinda get the idea of him being a clingy person right there.) I usually like it if a guy says it about two months or more into the relationship, it makes it more meaningful. I ended up breaking up with him two months later, not only because of that though. Usually after a break-up you need a little time a space right?
After I told him that I need time and space, he admitted that by us doing stuff together it would give him a possiblity of getting me back, but he said it was probably best if we had time a space. That's when he turned to my brother. Although I'm not really close to my brother, but I would really not like it if my brother was hanging out with my ex.. I just don't want my brother to get involved into my personal life.
Anyways, I guess i can't really tell the whole story. All of my other friends, and my parents think hes being clingy though.
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Quitters always lose, and winners never give up.
Don't worry about being nice so much. He will be OK if you give him a clear message.
Just in a kind tone of voice tell him that he is a good person, and while you are flattered that he cares so much, you discovered that you are not really interested in him, and that you prefer that he makes other friends than you and your family.
If in the future you decide you are interested, fine. But for now, be very clear to him about what you want. Don't make it sound like this is just a space in the relationship or he will keep on hanging on and hoping and driving you nuts.