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Old 05-22-2003, 03:09 PM   #1
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stevoNYC HB User
Angry Communication touble w\ g\f

He I'm currently about 5 months into a relationship with a long time female friend. I love her to death and I do anything to make her happy. I love talking to her but recently I find our conversations (mostly phone) going dry. We talk to each other on the phone usually every other day at night or right after school. We have the usual "how was your day?" small talk since we go to different schools and only a few minutes after that I find myself struggling to keep the conversation going..I know its not good for a guy to talk much so I try to listen way more than talk..but i think she has the same problems..there will be short ackward silences and pauses..how do I keep the convo flowing??

 
Old 05-22-2003, 03:45 PM   #2
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i am alot like that too.... but my bf always has music playing in the background, and so when there is no convo u just start to sing, and sometimes the words in the song spark an idea of waht u should talk about....i know this sounds really gay, but it works...and if ur on the computer, just play really random, funny songs--try it sometime!

 
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Old 05-22-2003, 04:14 PM   #3
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I would go out with her more often, that way you get to know each others interests and you both have experiences to talk about. Find something that she can talk about for hours.

 
Old 05-23-2003, 12:06 AM   #4
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Well you said you'd been in a relationship for five months, so things might be starting to cool off by now. I don't mean that you two are losing interest in each other, I mean that the excitement that you feel right at the beginning of the relationship is wearing off - you're getting comfortable around each other. This isn't bad, in fact, I think it's the best part of the relationship, because you know that the two of you are good together, and you're working out. Why don't you try talking to her less on the phone, like only three times a week? You probably know what each other are thinking a lot of the time by now, so you don't have as much to discuss. The phone puts a lot of pressure on you to think of lots of things to say in a short amount of time, one after the other. You could try emailing her everyday, or sending her ecards with little messages - then she'll know that you're thinking about her. Or, you could write her little notes or letters and give them to her at school. If you don't go to school together, post them or give them to her just before you leave after spending time with her. Girls seem to have a fixation with writing letters back and forwards to their friends, so she'll probably love it. Don't worry about not being able to think of things to see - you can't be expected to talk on the phone for hours every other night after five months, it's just not realistic, and I've never done it with any of my boyfriends. Hope I've helped

 
Old 05-23-2003, 12:13 PM   #5
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Thanks for your reply Delicious and everyone else. I never thought of it in that perspective..I like the note idea..i just dont want her to feel like im forgetting about her, I cant stop thinking about her, its just theres not much to report vocally on say a Wednesday night.

 
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