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Old 05-17-2003, 05:14 AM   #1
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5
Ripatuna HB User
Question advice

hey. i broke up with my g/f bout 5 months ago. I was hurt bad, she told me that she didnt feel teh same way about me at all, but from experience im sure that there is more to this reason that she gave me.Although 2 weeks before we broke up i came back from a holiday. She was upset hta i was going, and was afraid that i would find someone else while i was there. Now, after i came back she accused me of being with her for the sex.Though afterwards she found out this to be untrue. SO im thinkin its those two factors that made her make the descison, what do u think ?? Anyway, while we were dating, i helped her through a really tough time, she was having self confidence problems, callin herself fat etc, adn doing stuff that hurt her mentally- cuttin up pics of herself. Anyway, basically i helped her see that she was absoluty gorgeous( which she is!) haha and she eventually found it in herself to be confident. Anyway, we broke up but afterwards i got the feeling that seh regretted her desicion. She never told me this but my best freind- her good freind also told me one day she caught my ex staring at my pic thats in my best freinds locker, and when my best friend noticed, she immediatly turned away embarrassed. Also my best freind knows my ex's password for an email account, she told me that my ex still had me as her passwrod for about 4months after we ended which i was surprised at. Bascially what i am asking is this-after how i treated her- with respect and dignity and after what i did for her(though it was her who made the descion to get better... i was jsut always there ot lend a helpin hand)do u think she regretted her descion and still did feel the way she felt? I know its been ages but she just got a new b/f and stuff which hurts bad. My best freind( ex and her go to the same school) told me they were having trouble finding conversation- me nad her when we first dated had that instant chemistry stuff. Ummmmmmm yea this is pathetic but i need to know how she felt after we ended. I donno why its important to me, i guess i just want to feel that i meant something to her, and that maybe seh was upset because we broke up. Not how she played it out to be- all tough and happy as larry. and to know if she did end up regretting it. So yea, any advice would be helpful. Thnax- this is my first post about relationships so it seems kinda wierd doing it, so sorry if it seems wacko. c ya Rip.

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Old 05-17-2003, 09:56 AM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: FL USA
Posts: 333
UF baby HB User

It sounds like she still probably cares about you and maybe she broke up with you because she was trying to avoid getting hurt. I take it she has some emotional problems? Maybe that could be the cause of her actions? Nobody can really tell you if she still cares about you except her. I know how you feel you just want someone to tell you that she still cares for you and it'll be ok. But honestly, nobody is going to be able to tell you that. You really need to talk to her. You could call her, or talk to her in person..but I would suggest writing her a note. That can say everything you want to say exactly how you want to say it, and there won't be an argument. Then, of corse, the ball's in her court. Good luck!

Old 05-18-2003, 12:32 AM   #3
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5
Ripatuna HB User

but why wouldnt she come out and tell me then? i once hinted it to her that maybe she made the wrong decision but she told me that she was happy. THere are so many thigns tellin me that she regretted it, but then she says she doesnt. WHY?? chicks are way too confusing

Old 05-22-2003, 02:43 PM   #4
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Chicago, IL USA
Posts: 133
Carnival_Angel HB User

This sounds like a very rough situation. I know and understand that ever after all that time, feelings like that dont go away. I think you should call her and ask to meet up and tell her how you feel and ask the questins that are on your mind. If you think she will not respond to this, maybe feeling pressured then try something else.
Try writting her a letter. Sometimes when people are asked certain questions that make them uncomfortable in person, it wont be so uncomfortable writing things in a letter.

Besides that im not realy sure why she would end it without real explainations. Im not tha kinda girl so I dont know. A talk is needed to get things sorted. Even if she doesnt want a relationship with you it may give you some closure and help you move on.

* ~ JeN JeN ~ *

Old 05-23-2003, 06:14 PM   #5
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5
Ripatuna HB User

but do girls say there happy even when they dont mean it??? tahts whats gettin me here....

Old 05-24-2003, 02:45 PM   #6
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: AL
Posts: 514
siren24 HB User

Yes, people lie all the time to save face. I have an ex who did the same thing to me. We had a wonderful relationship, great friends, chemistry, rarely argued. Then one day, he broke up with me out of the blue. His friends all told me that he missed me like crazy and regretted his decision, and cared about me very much. He basically dumped me out of fear of getting hurt and getting to serious. He made his decision based on previous relationship experiences and not on what we had. He would always tell me, however, that he was happy being by himself. I know that he missed me and that he wasn't really happy, but he had to convince himself and the world that he had made the right choice. For him, there was just no going back, no matter how he felt about me.
I eventually got over him, and am now married to a wonderful guy. But, sometimes, people make choices they come to regret, but stick with them anyway.

Old 05-25-2003, 07:59 PM   #7
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 18
blondy15 HB User

Well your story was a bit confusing but it sounds like she still cares about you but she doesent no how to handle it! i think you should get together and talk it over and agree to be friends! hope i helped!

Old 05-26-2003, 03:35 AM   #8
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5
Ripatuna HB User

thanx for all the replys its been good. I was talkin to her online, but didnt bring up any stuff. Anyhows it was the first time i had talked to her in bout a months sicne we werent on speakin terms. She randomly started asking me questins bout my love life, pretty personal stuf like what i have been doing with girls etc and was adamant at telling me hers was going good. Now, my freind told me to take thing it at face value and not read into it. OR could there be more to it like trying to make me jelous or somethin else. Im telling ya, i never been so confused in ma life. I personally dont belive that an ex would ask anohter ex those questions but maybes thats me. Im just about to start a new relationship with an awesome girl, so before the convo id stopped wondering bout everything in the past. so this just bought it all back which sucks big time. whats buggin me is why she would wanna talk bout these things which made me and im sure her real uncomfortable. or is it just innocent converstaion????? Any advice would be great

Old 05-26-2003, 12:25 PM   #9
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: FL USA
Posts: 333
UF baby HB User

If she is trying to make you jealous when you did nothing wrong, you really shouldn't waste your time with her. Go out with the new girl you mentioned.

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