I'm entering my senior year of high school, the pressure is on with SAT's scores, good grades and choosing a college, my mom and my boyfriend want me to stay in the state and go to school close to home. But I want to go out of state. I've told them this and gave them my reasons why. If I make it into an out of state school then I have to worry about tiution, which is going to be a problem even if i do get finacal aid. That one of my major problems and it also ties in to my other one. My boyfriend layed down the law saying "If you go away to college, then we're over." I don't want to lose him,i'm afraid if I do he'll kill himself. He's manic depressive, always talks about cutting his wrists in the shower, and I know he does it. I feel bad for him because as much as I want to make him happy and want to show him how much he means to the world, I just can't handle his <deleted>. If i say I'm depressed he immedately jumps down my throat saying i have no reason to be. How can I get what I want and keep the people I care about most happy as well? Or is it a lost cause?
[This message has been edited by tntmod5 (edited 06-07-2003).]
Some boyfriend. You can't let his pitiful life result in a pitiful life for you.
If you dream is to go to a special school, wherever it is, then do everything you can to go there. If your bf leaves you, it doesn't sound like you will be the worse off for it. In fact, he is probably aware that you will find someone better than him - someone who will love you and respect and not "lay down the law" when it comes to doing something to better your future.
Only you know your financial situation and what you and your folks can afford. If you can work it out, and it is want you want, then go make it happen. But, look at your Mom's viewpoint - it may cost her a lot of money and if you can get just as good of an education in-state, then staying put might be the wisest thing to do.
If your bf tries to kill himself of whatever, realize that it is not your fault! If you stay with him, realize that he will continue to threaten you with this and hold you captive. Tell him to go get help, and you get on with your life.
Your boyfriend has somewhat of a grip on you, you can't leave him because you're afraid for his health, yet part of you wants to, no? You should go to that college. What happens if you go to a state school and get an average education and HE leaves YOU? Then what? You're stuck. Most likely that relationship will end one way or another, why not live your dream?
Tug of war 
