| | Constant mixed emotions.... why??
I've had about 3 boyfriends in the past year. One whom I am currently with. The first one, I broke up with him in about a month. He just was not my type. The second one.. wasn't my type either. Now the guy I am dating now, we have a ton in common, so much alike, but he is 20 and I am 16. He'll be 21 this year and I will be 17. I really like him, but I feel very iscolated from him, and he keeps getting the feeling like I'm scared of him or something. I guess you can say I kinda am, because I don't want anything sexually with him. I just can't, because I have high morals, and even if I want to, it wouldn't work because my guilt would effect me. We have been going out for a week now (Not long at all I know), but it feels like longer. We have done something almost everyday of this week, but I have not yet kissed him. I don't know why, but I just can't get myself to do it. I asked him on the first date if we can kiss some other time, since I don't usually kiss on the first date. And he said that was fine, and whenever I am ready. Well, I still feel like I'm not ready (I know, for a silly little kiss! I've done it before, comon!), and I'm concerned he's getting impatient. I almost feel like I don't want a relationship at all, but at the same time, I do! He's done everything right, and has even done some things for/with me that I always pictured myself doing with someone I love. But, I don't really understand why I am feeling this way...
Quitters always lose, and winners never give up.