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Old 06-18-2003, 10:32 PM   #1
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Andrew29 HB User
Unhappy Rejected by girl...depressed

This is a follow-up to the topic, "Girls, is this a Turnoff". I first want to thank everyone for their replies. Well, I did ask that girl out on a date, but she said she didn't want to get into a relationship because she is moving. I'm very very depressed about this. Like, I'm not a guy that dates very often, so when I do come close to getting a girlfriend, it's a real big emotional ride for me; I have a low self-esteem as it is (acne). My last two attempts that I tried to get a girl also failed. However, i was VERY optimistic that we were going to get together and I felt so much better about myself and much happier. Now that she has rejected me, I'm absolutely devestated. I know there are other girls out there, but like i said, I don't date very often, so I'm still going to have feelings for her for a while, even though we won't ever talk again; we both JUST graduated high school. And I never actually got to ask her out directly. I had a friend do it for me because he sees her at school much more often than I do. I wish I could have talked to her because there would have been so many things that I would have liked to say. I really need some advice. I can't stop thinking about her.


[This message has been edited by Andrew29 (edited 06-19-2003).]

 
Old 06-19-2003, 02:18 PM   #2
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Well, if she is moving away, why start a relationship that is already pretty much doomed?

Are you going to college? If so, there will be plenty of girls to meet. I know it can be difficult to get the courage up to ask a girl out again, but please try to do so. Avoid thinking about a particular girl for too long - when you do so, you build your hope up too much and if she says no, you have a long way to fall. At college, if you see someone, just ask them out. Some of the parties are great for this. Don't invest time getting to know them too much at first - just ask them, don't fidget for days thinking about it. This way, you really have little to lose and will not feel as bad if she says no.

There are certainly girls out there for you, but make sure you are asking the right ones, and keep yourself out there an available.

 
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Old 06-19-2003, 05:27 PM   #3
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Ya, unfortunetly that is one of my problems; I have a tendency to keep having feelings for girls after I know that we're not going to get together. This is because I don't have many chances to get a girlfriend. And so, I get my emotions way too connected. And the other thing is, after this summer, I am actually not going to university or college, so it's going to be very very hard for me to meet girls. And I'm not too into going to bars/clubs/pubs.

[This message has been edited by Andrew29 (edited 06-19-2003).]

 
Old 06-22-2003, 02:57 PM   #4
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just move on, ever herd of the saying theres other fish in the sea?

 
Old 06-23-2003, 02:39 PM   #5
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I understand. Rejection is tough, but please try to understand that the girl who says no is not going to go around making fun of you. Really, if she says no, so what? Yes, it will hurt a lot if you have invested months on this girl - dreaming of her, imagining how it will be with her, etc. The solution is to stop spending so much time thinking and simply do it. It will be difficult, but after you get a few yeses, it will be easier.

I don't suggest you go looking for girls where you are not comfortable. Bars crowded with beautiful, single women can be the loneliest place in the world for the shy guy, where you feel if you can't score there, you must be a loser. Been there, done that. Fact is, the type of girl you want is probably not there, so why look there and why feel upset if you can't find a girl you like there?

Wait for school to start and then look for opportunities. Try to sit next to girls in your classes, and try to visit with girls in the dorm. Simply try to speak with girls - even girls you aren't attracted to - simply to get more comfortable speaking with them. If you can make friends, they may introduce you to someone they know; plus the experience will make you more comfortable speaking with someone who you think you would like to ask out. Just don't be too picky - the girl you first ask out doesn't have to be the girl you will marry.

 
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