Okay there is this girl at my school, she competes with me in everything!...for some examples...-ill be going out with this guy and then she will start to flirt with him and make him like her better-
-if i become really close with a friend she will come and take her away or whatever- okay i dont compete with her but she competes with me major! and im sick of it it is so dumb...i got into modeling and next thing i know she is too...what is up with her..its not like she likes me and wants to be like me or something its like she just wants to make my life h*ll and she knows she is better than me and everything i just cant stand her any more and her "acts" are getting on my nerves! i dont wanna sounds stuck up because i am anything but that caz i cant stand ppl who are i just wanna know what her deal is!? She always says stuff to me to try and make me jealous of her and it dont bother me i just laugh but it is kinda getting annoying! my friends have notices what she is doing too!! what do i do? i cant say anything to her either that would b dumb i just need some advice on how to deal with it it has been goin on for a couple years!! HELP! and why is she doing this?!
[This message has been edited by Miranda2626 (edited 07-27-2003).]
This is kind of freaky! Have you told her to back off? Tell her to in front of a group of people. Ignore her, just stay as far away as possible. I can't tell if this is just a little case of high school popularity jealousy or if she is like some crazy psycho who wants to take over your life and rub you out. More details please.
Thanks alot for your help MelisaH. I dont know what else to tell u besides she trys and makes me jealous and ever guy I date she will date or whatever and do stupid stuff like that. For a while I just thought it was like a coincidence...but its like too weird....a while ago i got my navel pierced what do u know she does too.. i mean that dont really bother me because i mean anyone caz get thier belly bottons pierced if they want but it is another thing that adds to the list..I just wish she would stop with it im afaid if i say something to her she will be like i am not or whatever. Yeah I try to ignore it as much as possible. And believe me I try and stay away from her but we live in a small town and where ever I am she is too..its h*ll!..
but THANkS again for the advice
Hello. If you tell this girl something when it's just you and her, you may not feel as dumb, wrong, or resisted. Also, I thought what Hoops said made a lot of sense too. Throw it back in her face. Say you were to like or love something she thinks is really stupid, would she still copy? Keep us posted in what you do.
~I am but one small instrument~
This might sound crazy, but she could just admire you, and feel jealous of YOU- therefore she tries to make herself "better" by taking the things that matter to you. Copying you is her way of being LIKE you.
Unlike you (presumably), she is immature, insecure, and feels the need to make you the same way. Don't let her succeed. You said she "knows she is better than you?" No way- someone who is secure about him/herself doesn't need to step on other people the way she does.
This might sound crazy, and you probably won't want to do it (I know I wouldn't), but try being nice to her. Like really, really nice. Trust me, if she is THAT mean to you, being really nice when she is mean will be SO frustrating to her.
By "nice" I don't mean you have to act like you worship her or appreciate how she treats you. Just act like it really doesn't bother you, smile and treat her like any other random stranger. You reacting negatively to the crap she gives you, will only fuel the fire. Trust me. She is really insecure. TEAR HER DOWN even further, by showing her that YOU are secure- and that her competition is a one-way thing- that you don't NEED to compete back, to prove you are better than her.
And if that doesn't work, maybe she really is a lunatic stalker or something. LOL jk.
hey i had a friend that did that and it ****** me off like whoa! finally i got her alone and i was like look this has gotta stop or ur gonna push me over the edge! turned out she was really insecure and saw that i wasn't... and she figured if she acted like me and had what i had then she'd start to feel better! i told her that it would never happen until she acted like herself and was comfortable doing so! it might take a while but she could do it, etc. After we talked i (and she) felt much better. She's backed off a LOT ... and is learning to be secure with herself and just be herself!
actually what i think is, she likes you and wants to be like you and kinda knows she cant.. so if it really offends you tell her that she is ******* you off and that you dont like to compete. if that doesnt help try and join her maybe shes really cool and you maybe, misjuged her?
I am 19, male, Straight and live England! have a male friend of the same age that I have known for at least 15 years.
anyway, I have similar problems...this mate has always copied me...things such as work in school but of course, thats just being kids ain't it? so I thought nothing of it...but then it got worse and he started to claim he had a Petrol Go-kart when both of us were about 10...I went round to see it, but then he made up excuses saying he moved it to his dad's - drawing attention? also at primary school he kept trying get in between me and my mates etc used to tell me he hates my mates n stuff and wouldn't stop following me around school/class/playgrounds etc everything I do he copy of me
next thing, both of us were about 12 to 13 years old in secondary school when this mate of mine claimed his father won the lottery and tried to impress me with his new fortune...ha! no mention of it in the papers or news or anything....everyone started to pay attention towards him apart from me as I already know what he's like....then it came out to be a big lie and he was yet again just trying to impress me or win me over if you like but that did not work
since then he has copied everything I say/do...from the terms/words I use to clothes/looks....this is the most recent, the other week he called for me trying to impress me with his new clothes....would you credit it eh, they happen to be the same kind of clothes that I wear...goth/mosh clothes...and all of a sudden he is interested in the same music as me as well even tho he hasn't a clue about rock/metal/goth music!!! not the faintest!
a few more things....he consistantly asks me if he looks ok...his hair, eyes, facial hair etc I tell him to stop it because this is not what guys talk to each other about!!!!! haha...however, he surely isn't gay because I think I would know that, I have known him for ages as said above....but I have my doubts...I cannot remember him with a girl ever, cannot even remember him kissing or being near a girl!!! at this moment he says he is dating a girl but I dont believe him because when I say can I meet her he gets all nervous and starts making up excuses etc I do not know if he is trying to make me jealous or something (I can assure you, I ain't gay so don't take this the wrong way lol)
now he just constantly keeps calling for me and won't leave me alone, he is like a leach...i even have to make up excuses, tell my parents that if he calls for me at the door or on the phone i am asleep...basically because he is a physco....he also compliments me alot!!! makes me feel bad so i have to compliment him back...nowadays i chat to him on msn every now and then...but he still does it...same as me!!! just say if i go for a beer...he will too..arghhh..i have had to put up with this for years
he even admits his jealousy towards me by saying things such as "Oh you're moving away, I wish I was like you".....this is because I am moving away to go to Uni....he even said he will visit me!!! in my head i go oh no, i thought i got rid of him!!!! but he still says he will visit me and go places with me etc....christ!
also he likes what i like if you know what i mean...just say there is something on tv he will say this show is great, then i'll say it's not my type...he'll say yea, it ain't my type either umphhh!!!
anyway, i am all used to this now, pretty annoying but i just ignore it these days and think noting of it