Living in New York, where evething in school socially is based on how good you can act, "black" so to speak.
I've been in the "in-crowd" one of the popular kids, for a while in the rock 'group' type thing, and now that its begining to be influenced by the whole thing, its changing for the worse, and i dont like it, once i tried to sustain it, i basically got kicked out of the group and not liked too much. I mean, the parties, concerts, and just chillin were all really fun, drinking, smoking, it was great..but people who have been almost best friends for a year, are at eachothers throats for some stupid ****, from 'keepin the roach of the blunt' to disrespecting his girlfriend, things are just not fun anymore. I dont agree with fighting between friends, and if you dont want to fight in a fight situation, your considered a herb. so basically i stopped fitting in with that group, because i'm more mellow and laid back.
Enough of the story. My dilemna is that, the other side...my.other..friends, are basically nerds, the complete definition of a herb. these kids, are complete computer geeks, yet talk **** in person and dress like thugs, and talk bout how theyre gangster, which is usually ALL lies, or somthing they did WITH sombody who peer pressured them, but they always twist the story, and knowing that theyre anoying to be around. BUT I STILL hang out w/ them. its funny how the few friends i have now, i dont like, and my old ones, dont like me. so anyway, i've got a few more years of high school, and ive read in college advice forums to never hang out with one group of friends
and for christ sakes, I will do that now, but until then, is this my fault?
it's not your fault bro.. it's just you trying to figure out your role in this place..
so your old group of friends think you're a herb.. do you really give a damn? you already figured out that's not your type of crowd.. but ppl like that have their own set of 'standards and ideals' that they try very hard to stay within.. respect them for who they are and not who they try to be..
you're alot more open-minded then them.. so you shouldn't be changing yourself in 'fight situations' just to make them think you're cool.. if you're looking some guy in the face that you really don't have any problem with and you don't feel the need to resort to fists then damn man, don't do it.. if they don't like it then screw them..
knocking some kid out over something stupid just to get accepted by your old friends is a REALER definition of a herb..
and your other friends who talk alot of BS about being gangster and whatnot, that's kinda herbish too.. but at least they're not asking you to change yourself, right?
i don't think you should limit yourself to one single group of friends..
show everyone luv and respect bro.. but just be you, y'know?
[This message has been edited by firstname.lastname@example.org (edited 08-19-2003).]
your so right. they did try to change me, but i diddn't, which is how it all became. and i've heard from a few diffrent people since, that you should never hang out with one crowd, and thats exactly what i did, but the truth is, in new york city high schools, you can only hang out with one crowd, its all segregated and retarded, there's the 'ghetto' 'metalhead' 'asian' 'computer-nerd'
and thats it. so, ill do my best. thanks alot for the help!