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Old 08-22-2003, 08:58 PM   #1
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james 4567 HB User
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I have a girl frind who all her life, most of her friends disliked her, she was the most unpopular girl in middle school, she was really obese, and basically ugly, and I was her friend, cause i mean..she's really nice, always has been. Anwyay I gave her a 'diet secret' that I developed and once she started losing weight, I totally beefed it up and made her feel very very confident and such, and boosted her ego and self esteem, because she was always a nervous insecure wreck. Anyway, once i stopped because she was 'enuf' to be on her own, she kept going and now she's turned into a an a** cause she thinks she's better than me, thinks she's soooooooo hot, cause I basiaclly told her she was, to boost her self esteem, cause she no matter what thought she was fat and ugly, anyway she's got that mentality which is my fault, and now she feels like she's better than me, and disrespects me and **** like that...its almost as if she doesn't appreciate or recognize anything i've done for her, did i do a good thing or a bad thing, and now that she's like this, she's not even my friend anymore, how can i get her back? i've counciled her through most of her problems and now it seems like she's above me, and tries to put me down about stupid s***. Anybody else have things ilke this happen to them??

 
Old 08-22-2003, 09:04 PM   #2
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Kingofthedead HB User
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i know exactly how u feel...somthing kinda like that happened to me once..but thats to long of a story and im to lazy to type it, lol. well..do you two still talk? if you do just ask her what happened to your friendship. tell her how good your relationship was and how you helped eachother so much (even if you only helped her). you cant really do anything unless you talk to her though!

 
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Old 08-22-2003, 09:12 PM   #3
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That's why you never tell a girl she's beautiful unless you really think she is.

I'll bet that if you guys were alone, then she'd be nice to you & whatnot. Dude if I were you, I'd just forget about her... I've NO tolerance for people who change around others. But I guess if you still want to be her friend, just let her know what you're thinking, then just keep being nice to her (don't build up her ego anymore). Just be the bigger man.

-Patrick
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"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
Old 08-22-2003, 09:27 PM   #4
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Unfortunately, that happened to me. I made myself look stupid in front of him, so he'd look smart. I swallowed my pride. I was trying to make him feel intellegent because all of his grades were below mine.

Next thing I knew, he was making me feel stupid. He'd laugh when I don't answer an easy question. My point is, I acted on good spirit and so did you. But it backfired and fill his head with air. I might have gone over the line.

The truth is, he is still stupid. Whe he'd get his tests back, they'd be low. I changed his attitude towards things, but not the reality.

So, with your friend, sooner or later, when people tease her at some point or reject her, she'd really realize how ugly and fat she really is. Then she'll crawl back to you. When this happens, accept her.

Just talk to her, if she doesn't care for you. It's her lost, not yours.

[This message has been edited by Hot Ice (edited 08-23-2003).]

 
Old 08-22-2003, 10:47 PM   #5
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We still talk, but its not even friendly, when I talk to her I feel like she tries to prove that she's better than me any chance she gets, and honestly, not that Im putting myself down, but from what I hear she's got a few friends, she tells me about interactions with guys and such, and I dont have that much interaction myself with as many girls, as she guys, she goes to more concerts, she's into the 'punk scene' and its just..i enjoyed talking to the girl who wanted to hear about me, instead of her telling me how much stuff she does, i mean once she said "yeah im here with a group of people over in bk at my friends house and your sitting home all alone with nothing to do" this just...really...really..****** me off, its like.. yeah, your right, i am alone which sucks, but do you have to rub it in my face? i mean, its like a poor man getting handed money and slapping his best-poor friend in the face, from 1-5 i was a 3, and she was a 1..now she's a 4 and she wont shut up about it...and i konw her for like ten years, i guess she's just changing from highschool, but for the worse...and its all my fault

 
Old 08-23-2003, 09:22 AM   #6
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Quote:
Or "yeah im here with a group of people over in bk at my friends house and your sitting home all alone with nothing to do"
Ouch! I feel for you.

I really know that feeling. That friend I was talking about, he goes out several times. He parties, goes to concerts and has so many group of friends. He never said it out loud, but he think he's superiour just because of that. Now ask yourself this, DOES THAT MAKE HIM A BETTER PERSON THAN I AM?

Absolutely NOT. There are other factors that make one a good person, much more a better person. If you're compassionate or helpful or restpecful towards others but you don't go out alot, I would say that YOU ARE BETTER than the person who goes out alot but has a bad attitude.

The definition of the term BETTER is VAGUE and subject to interpretation based on one's standards.

Quote:
and i konw her for like ten years, i guess she's just changing from highschool, but for the worse...and its all my fault
Don't blame yourself. It's her. You said you think she can be on her own, then let her. Eventually she'll learn. Eventually.

One more thing, so what if she thinks she's better than you? That's her truth. Not yours. If she's really having the time of her life, be happy for her. But ignore her insults. She can't tell you who or what you are. You yourself is the only person who knows.

 
Old 08-23-2003, 10:19 AM   #7
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She probably doesn't have actual friends now. If she had no friends the way she naturally was, then only got friends after she changed, then those friends she has now aren't real friends, because they don't know the real her. She's fake, she's not better than you. 2 pet peeves of mine are people who change around others & people who think they are better than others. She's being both. No one is better than anyone else. Like i said earlier i've no tolerance for these types of people... i'd never talk to her again if i were you.

This kinda reminds me of the movie 'The New Guy' (i think that's what it was called). This high school guy was a loser, so he switched schools, changed his personality, looks, everything. He started ditching his real friends for his new ones, but eventually he got found out. He found out who is real friends were real quick. I'm certain that'll happen to your friend here pretty soon. Although that was a comedy movie & it ended up that he kept all his friends in the end, it won't happen that way in real life.

-Patrick

[This message has been edited by CamaroGuy (edited 08-23-2003).]
__________________
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
Old 08-23-2003, 10:25 AM   #8
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james 4567 HB User
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her new friends she met first year of highschool

old ones from grade school(never really had, they all hated her and made fun of her, she once almost had a lawsuit against them, i mean.they passed notes and pruposly set it up so she'd find them, all sorts of ****, that they told me about laughing cause she tried to fit in with the hot girls who i was friends with)

 
Old 08-23-2003, 10:51 AM   #9
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Hot Ice HB User
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Okay, who exactly are you thinking about? Her well-being or yours? No offence, it sounds to me that you're trying to help yourself BY HELPING HER.

It feels good when we help others. But it feels crap when they are ungrateful.

It's like this

You help her = she's happy = you're satisfied that you helped.

But also

You help her = she's happy but unappreciative = you get mad.

It sounds as if you are a people-pleaser. I tried to help another friend of mine because he doesn't have other friends, litteraly. And why did I do that? Well, to feel good about myself. How? It is only human nature to get satisfaction from helping others.

[QUOTE]
DO i really want to help her again, if she needs it knowing how she can act?
QUOTE]

Two words. Open Arms. If she needs help, give it to her. But don't help her anymore if she doesn't ask.

Or you can teach her a lesson by making her feel bad again. Mind you, a LESSON, not a revenge.


 
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