Honestly, being in high school, its not even about what you want, if you have an ugly girlfriend your friends nagg you about it, so the truth is peer pressuer really does get to people even though they dont realize it. Im shallow, because If im going out with a girl at this point, I pretty much know its only for sexual purposes, knowing that im not going to marry the chick cause i dont plan to marry until 25+ so basically, i need a girl im very attracted to. I cant get these girls, (the popular pretty ones) because, im shy. Its hard to become friends with these girls unless your in a band, great at sports, or have some extraordinary quality. I dont consider my self great looking, but im not dissapointed with my looks, and I just dont know how to get these girls to notice me, because...being nice just doesnt work. I..just dont have the balls to just ask a girl to a movie..they travel in packs, always, and its too embarrasing especially if they say no. talking to women online? DISASTER
"I keep thinking tomorrow is coming today so I am endlessly waiting." -Counting Crows
When being nice don't make it seem like, "I'm a polite little school boy." Be CONFIDENT! I know a lot of nice guys who I don't think anything more of because nothing stands out about their personas. "yeah he's nice, his mom brought him up well." I don't think "He's really nice, and it's an attractive quality about him." I think this because they are so reserved when being polite. If you're confident, girls are going to start wondering why, and they'll be intrigued and want to find out. Don't be cocky about it, that's such a turn off. But, be cute and carefree, someones going to eventually notice.
I understand that you don't want to get married... but sexual purposes aren't the only reason for dating in high school. I'm going into my second year of college this fall, and find myself with the opposite of your problem. I'm sick of guys coming up and talking to me because they want to have sex with me, I want someone that is actually interesting in ME. So, if you wait until your 25+ (when you want to get married) to find a girl not just for sexual purposes, you're not going to have any kind of idea what kind of women you like or are compatible with (except you want them to be pretty). You should find someone you really enjoy spending time with, and let the sexual part be a bonus. It's not that hard to see what a boys motives are before they even talk to you. No girl wants a guy that thinks with his penis, which is what your doing.
I think I know exactly what you mean..but then again, I probably have the totally wrong idea. i'm currently going out w/ a girl, who I know is not going to give anything up and im perfectly fine with that, except even when im with her there's always that drive, which makes it hard to just-be-cool with her, because there's not much to do in the city(at my age) besides drugs sex and alchohol, unless im rich, which im not, i mean..movies are ten bucks, i can afford that once a week tops, if I sacrafice meals...i can understand in the country, with parties and such, but reguardless of what people think, being young in the city sucks!!! i really like this girl, we have a few things in common, but i feel like im running out of things to talk about, because all we do is talk n kiss cause there's really nothing else to do..i've kept busy so far, but i really dont know what to do next!! help!
Yeah..am I not supposed to reply to my own post, to further increase the understanding?
I enjoy being with her..but there's just not much to do, walking around gets lame..when there's nothing to talk about, I mean...it seems to me like its me, but with all other people im a great conversationalist, could it be that she doesn't like me or feel the same way?
No it's not wrong to respond to your own thread I was just confused because the response sounded like you were responding to your original post, not somebody else's reply to your question. I get confused easily so don't mind me
Anyway sometimes two people just don't "click" with each other, of course if you've been together for a while then you'll end up talking less but if you get so bored real easy then it doesn't sound like you're "good" with each other.
You don't have to be head over heels in love with a girl to enjoy her company enough not to get bored stiff while you're with her!
Anyway there's lots of things you can do that don't cost the world, for example go swimming (not sure whether you have a lot of nice public swimming pools in the US, here in the UK they are sadly lacking but when I was your age in Switzerland going swimming was a nice way of getting a bit "close" to each other while still having good clean fun, and the entrance fee doesn't cost the world either.
Also going for a drink or ice cream doesn't cost the world, and if the cinema is too expensive then renting a film (or getting your parents to rent one) or just watching TV can pass some time as well. Listening to music is good too, and not having sex doesn't mean you can't snog or make out does it?
[This message has been edited by Redhead23 (edited 08-22-2003).]
25, female, AS with attentional dysfunction
maybe im a boring person, but none of those really sounded..well they could be fun, but they dont sound like somthing I like to do, I was talking to a girl-friend of mine, and she told me to break it off, but I instead I might bring it up to her, and ask her why things are getting slow...I think its probably me, but then again, im one in a million, so its hard to find sombody compatable. I really like her so it'll be hard to dump her, but...i can imagine if she dumped me all of a sudden, i'd have mixed feelings thinking its her fault, so I might make the first move. and to answer your question, i've only been going out with her for about a week, and its allready slow...advice?
You gottan stop caring so much about what people think of you.
Like if you approach a girl in a group and she says no, who cares what the others think. If they make fun of you ignore em. Do what YOU want. If you wanna be different then you are now do it. Cuz most likely you are being the way you are now cuz you are afraid of what people think.
Its not them who matter its you, You gotta do things that make you happy.
I don't know if I made my point well or not.
Either way, don't be afraid of what people think. Whats it really matter
Its not that im worried about what other people think...its that I dont know if im making the right move by breaking up with her, because I like her, but its just getting awkward..being around my girlfriend cause we have nothing to talk about...im not trying to prove anything to anybody by being with her..
Girls arent stupid. If you are carrying yourself as a person who only cares about looks and sex then no wonder you are still single. Sure you might not want to get married until you are older then 25 but right now it is about the lessons learned for relationships in the future. If it is all about the sex then what are you learning, other then how to be an *******? I am sorry this might sound mean, but why dont you actually look for a girl that fits and matchs your personality and who knows, maybe she will be the girl of your dreams.... dont just look for the sluts... keep your mind open to endless possibilities... life isnt about whos ****ed more girls/guys then the next person it is about how you make it, 20 years from now are you going to be glad that you hurt so many girls feelings just so you could have sex and look good to your buddies.... life is so much more than that
Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened!
You need to overcome your 'shallowness.' It's not attractive, and what kind of girl wants to date a guy who only likes her for her looks?
Certainly not I.
NEWSFLASH! Not all the pretty girls are popular! I'm sorry if I sound pissy, but it's guys like you that set the steretypical bonds in the world. If you want to have any sort of meaningful relationship AT ALL, then you need to learn to get over it and get to know a girl and love her for who she really is. You care way too much about what other people think of you and that is such a turn off. Notice the guys that mainly get the girls are the guys who DON'T CARE, who are nonconformists, who are different and unique.
Dude i had the SAME deal happen to me. I liked this girl, she liked me. She used to call me every night. But then she kinda stopped calling & started complaining that i wasn't calling her enough. I, being a total moron, thought that this meant she didn't like me anymore, so i stopped calling her. Stupid, eh? Actually, when she said that I should call her more, it didn't mean "i don't like you anymore," it meant "you should call me more." I feel dumb even telling this story. I was so busy looking for the subtle meanings in what she was doing/saying, that i didn't even listen.
Anyway, I think that's what you're doing. Freaking call her, dude. Everyone has this idea that if the guy calls the girl too often, it means you're whipped or something. Totally not true. It just means you like her.
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch
Well, I just called and told her it wasn't working(bout 1-2 minuts ago) and that I wanted to break up, etc.. she had a 'mutual' reaction, said she brought it up to a couple friends of hers, and she kept asking me if i heard anything,(no) and then said she didn't like it cause of the distance(we live a mile apart, absolutly nothing) so gofigure, that was a lie, so anyway, thats done with. thanks for the help everybody. lost a good catch, but hey...maybe we'll give it a go when she gets to be about my age. (we're b oth teens, she was a couple years younger, and im 15-16, so...i gave it a try.) cya on other threads