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Old 08-25-2003, 07:17 PM   #1
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CamaroGuy HB User
Arrow taking it slow

Hi again. Ummm... i have a slightly weird problem for a guy to have. In my other post... you can read it if you want but basically i just started dating this girl. We have gone out 3 days in a row, & i think i really am starting to like her. The problem is, she is.... really freaky. We've... done some stuff, which normally isn't a bad thing, except i think i really like her. I get the feeling that it's not mutual because we mess around too often.

I want to take it slower this time. I've messed up too many times by going too fast. How can i tell her i don't want to do this stuff, at least until i get to know her well? I mean... guys will know what i'm talking about here: it's impossible for me to tell her to stop once she gets going. I guess i'm just too weak. :/

So how can i tell her i want to take it slow without sounding like a loser?

-Patrick

------------------
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
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"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
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Old 08-25-2003, 07:37 PM   #2
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Even if you sound like a loser saying that you want to take it slow, you probably just need to say it. Not saying anything would probably just make you feel uncomfortable around her and she might notice that something is wrong and when she asks...well, if shes like other girls, she'll probably get mad that you didnt tell her sooner and that wouldnt be good for just starting a relationship if you know what i mean. Tell me if this helps!

 
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Old 08-25-2003, 08:50 PM   #3
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lovely.lady HB User
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If she's anything good, she will respect you and your decision. I am so proud of you for wanting a real worthwhile and meaningful relationship! THANK YOU!!! for attempting to break the typical teenage stereotypical bond. I LOVE YOU FOR THAT! If you're like me and aren't good at being direct, try to bring something up in an indirect way to tell her you wanna slow it down.

 
Old 08-25-2003, 08:52 PM   #4
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I am VERY horrible at being direct, & i suck with words. Inarticulate would be the correct term to describe my conversational skills. Which is why i'm posting this question.

-Patrick

------------------
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
__________________
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
Old 08-25-2003, 10:38 PM   #5
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"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart, there is no soul in the world so cruel that I would
not make it grieve for pity."
-Petrarch, translated by Durling

heh i was just doing my homework & came across that... it reminds me of my total inarticulation. I just thought i'd share it.

-Patrick

------------------
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
__________________
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
Old 08-25-2003, 10:53 PM   #6
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Camaro, please...void lovely.lady's comments. Well, simply...instead of spending the night watching a romantic movie in the bedroom, try to spend alot of time with her in public places, (not a public restroom at a club) and dont FORCE her or be direct,but rather dont give her the chance

and your very lucky, because...if u make her wait a bit...she'll be even more of a freak when your ready...heheh..if you kno what i mean...

 
Old 08-25-2003, 10:58 PM   #7
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lol Yep. I get what you mean. And those are really good suggestions, thanks. I'll try that.

However, do NOT turn this thread into a flame war between you two again... i don't want my thread ruined, too.

-Patrick

------------------
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
__________________
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
Old 08-25-2003, 11:19 PM   #8
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don worry bout it, uhm..avoid confrontation, cause that causes awkward moments, just have an idea of somthing to do every day that your with her so if she makes a move you can be like, Hey, you know what? lets do this! and she'll be like..uhhh okay... lol

 
Old 08-25-2003, 11:23 PM   #9
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rofl She's gonna think i'm gay or something. But i'ma try those suggestions. Thanks.

-Patrick

------------------
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
__________________
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
Old 08-25-2003, 11:26 PM   #10
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lovely.lady HB User
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Good relationships take time. You have to form a good friendship and get to know each other. I'm sure "love at first sight" is possible, but getting to know each other is key. Strictly physical relationships don't usually cut it for people. If there isn't an emotional and mental appeal then more than likely it won't work out. I don't know what you are looking for in a relationship, Camaro, but if you want one that's meaningful it will take some time. Don't rush into things, you might end up feeling regretful. If you think about it, emotional and mental connection is so important. Example. Would you rather fall down a flight of stairs and break your legs or have your best friend die? I'm assuming you'd choose the stairs. Physical things are so much less important then mental things. Don't get me wrong, there has to be that physical attraction, but don't let it be the foundation of your relationship. Just let her know in an indirect way that you'd like to slow things down. You can use your friends as an example "My friend so-and-so and his girlfriend haven't even kissed. They have the most amazing relationship, you should see them." I have no idea. I don't know much about your situation, but I've seen some of the best relationships be ones that have hardly any physical things happening at all. It's possible.

 
Old 08-25-2003, 11:58 PM   #11
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well i must admit, she's right..i've got an awsome relationship with my dog n pet fish...aint no physical contact involved...lol

 
Old 08-26-2003, 02:31 PM   #12
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Heh. I don't mind kissing her, but it's the other stuff that i want to take slow. I just want to like her for more than stuff we do, you know? Like when i hear a song, or read a poem (yes i read poetry, bah at you if you think that's funny :P), or see the stars or something, I want to think of her. My best friend & i are very open with each other, we aren't gay, we just tell each other things that probably most other best friends don't talk about. Like his girlfriend & how he likes her & what reminds him of her. I want that.

Anyway i'll stop being so sensitive lol. Replies are welcome.

-Patrick

------------------
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

[This message has been edited by CamaroGuy (edited 08-26-2003).]
__________________
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
Old 08-26-2003, 03:20 PM   #13
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james 4567 HB User
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I think sex under the stars, emphasizing on the stars, like while your doing it look up or somthing, will make you remember the stars when you look up..otherwise i dont see how stars will remind you of a girl

 
Old 08-26-2003, 08:11 PM   #14
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rofl thanks for the advice, but that's what i'm trying to avoid (at least for a while).

Haven't you ever liked a girl so much you actually thought about being with her instead of ****ing her?

-Patrick

------------------
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch
__________________
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311

"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch

 
Old 08-26-2003, 08:17 PM   #15
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james 4567 HB User
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Yeah, totally, you remember that girl I had a post about, that diddn't work...i've just got to find one my age, she was two years younger, and i really diddn't have much in common with her..i enjoyed being w/ her but it just got awkward...i was totally fine w/ not getting any, but the combination with that + lack of personality, totally made her wrong for me..im looking for a girl my age who i'll have the same feeling about

 
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