I have this problem w/my mom...see, I dont think she trusts me or anything. She thinks I'm going to get an eating disorder if I'm not feeling hungry for a couple or days. And she thinks Im going to go out and smoke, even though I think it would be disgusting to even TRY it and I have told her so. I HAVE tried talking to her, but she just seems to forget what I've told her every time something else comes around that she thinks she needs to worry about. I would love any advice!
Just stay trustworthy. Don't let her nagging make you want to do what she's telling you not to do just out of pure spite. Being trustworthy to your parents is far more important than being cool with your friends in the long run. Eventually, your mom will realize that you ARE trustworthy, & she doesn't have to worry about everything. You just have to be patient (spelling?).
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
[This message has been edited by CamaroGuy (edited 08-25-2003).]
"Stay positive and love your life..." -Nick Hexum, 311
"If I could as well enclose my thoughts in verses as I enclose them
in my heart..." -Petrarch
my mom probly isnt as untruste worth as yours. but when she does say somthing i do my best to turn the tables and make her look dumb for saying anything. usualy she relizes im no dumbass and doesnt worry for a while.
almost all mom are ... well STRICT AS HELL but .. seriousl you have to stict up to you mom... nd show her that you can be trust worthy... and about the eating dsorder.. good luck..mom caught me with my eating disorder... nw i have my brother watching over me..and his 4 year younger
i http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif scott
dave14.....thats horrible advice. i'm sorry, i usually don't comment on other people responses, but thats terrible. just cuz you can't have a good relationship with your mom, doens't mean other people shouldn't try. maybe YOU need the advice here also. the best thing to do is open up the lines of communication. always treat your mother with respect, even if she seems overprotective. shes your mother, you'll understand when you have kids. but never just tell her to f off, and get out of your way *****. you will regret you did, i promise. please, don't take his advice. your mother is just concerned about you, and she should be, your her child. understand that, and you will be on the road to a better relationship. dave, you should be ashamed in yourself that you could give someone such terrible advice, and tell them to say that to their mother. grow up.
Sometimes parents can be overprotective. It's not because they hate you or don't want you to have fun and be yourself, but you're their "baby" (and believe me even in your twenties you still are!!!) and they love you so they often find it very hard to let go, to accept that you need to start finding out who you are, that you are becoming more and more independent and that you need more freedom the older you get.
You don't have to swear and go all "gangsta" to become street-wise but you need to grow up for yourself and you need to learn your way around the world on your own two feet - it is often the overly protected kids who end up doing drugs and get into crime because they are trying to rebel against the way they were brought up - a certain amount of freedom, combined with common sense, trust and sensible information on how to handle yourself, is essential in growing into a reasonable, sensible young adult who can handle themselves in the "real word"!
Is there any adult (family friend, relative, teacher even) that you trust enough to talk about this? You sound like a mature and reasonable person who isn't going to go off and rebel against your Mom because she's so strict, but her nagging/suspicions are not good for you and you will need more freedom if you're to get "out there" and find your way in the world.
Maybe if another adult can talk to your Mom for you and explain to her that she needs to "let go" a little, and show her that you are a responsible person, then she might be more inclined to give you ambit more freedom and learn to trust you more.
Do you have any older siblings that have rebelled and might have lead your Mom to be so scared of you going off the rails? Or is she very gullible and believes all the horror stories that go around (stuff like "If you smoke weed once you'll soon start shooting up heroin" and things of that nature)?
Whatever the reason, if you can't convince her that you're trustworthy then maybe an adult who knows you well might be able to help you
[This message has been edited by Redhead23 (edited 08-26-2003).]
25, female, AS with attentional dysfunction
It's good to stand up for yourself, even to your parents...but when you start to go off at the mouth(ehem..Dave!) then it just gives them another reason to be worried. I know that it's hard to believe that parents give you a hard time because they care, but thats usually the case. Most parents usually handle it the wrong way, but a lot of them say things in the heat of the moment, without thinking through the impact of their words. I've been in your shoes...my family thought that I had an eating disorder(I didn't), thought that I smoked(I do now but didn't then...something that I regret ever starting btw), and thought that I was having sex just because of the clothes that I wore(which I wasn't), just to name a few. I look back on it now, and it wasn't that long ago, but I can see how they might have gotten those impressions. I wasn't ever very communicative with my parents...Mom especially(because she nagged the most.) A big problem there was that my mother wasn't exactly a model teen in her days, and she was afraid that I would make some of the same mistakes that she completely regreted taking...She would yell and ground me and take away all priviledges, and I hated her for it because I felt like she was flying totally off the handle and that she didn't care about who I really was, just who she thought that I should be. The truth was that even though she did a few things wrong, she was just scared that I would make an irreversible mistake. Something that a lot of kids do, and what kids do wrong is all over the media these days, and no one really focuses on the good. Parents are under a lot of pressure now-a-days to make sure that their kids are on the right path and that they stay there, and it's hard to find a medium between caring concern and overbearing. Especially now when teens don't confide in their parents much. All I can say is that the more that you share with your mom, the more perspective she has into your life. You don't have to tell her everything, just clue her in every once in a while. That might be all that she needs. If not, hang in there! It won't be long before you can truly prove to her that your a good kid and your not going to become an anorexic druggie bum. And don't let anyone dictate to you about who you are, but don't go out of your way and do something that you'll regret just to prove them wrong.(or right...) You know who you are...be true to that.
are you the oldest child in ur family? because sometimes that can make a difference. im not the oldest, but me and my older sister are tight and she's told me that mom is overprotective of her and she just doesn't want to see her first born 'baby' grow up.
my advice would be to just be trustworthy. if you feel she's being extremely unjust, talk to her, but otherwise, wait it out. if you're a pretty good kid, she should realize that and let you have some freedom / priveledges
if she's just worried that she'll 'loose you' because you're growing up, then spend time with her. she needs to know she's still one of your role models!
Hey i used to have mom problems like that but only worse i mean like it was horrible i'd sneak out and not tell her where i am and shed come find me and drag me home. or id hide in a friends basement and stuff. She would write my dad letters about how i dress and act. but like later on i just stoped argueing and she stoped to and we just kinda came to an understanding somehow i'm not exactly sure. but we just kinda droped everything and now i've told her everything... and she seems to like trust me more cuz of it. i've told her things that me n my b/f have done and things that me n my friends do when we are out. and things about what my brother does and now we trust each other a lot more. and she lets me basicly go where ever whenever... she even let me stay the night at my b/fs which a long time ago was a no way. but i guess just opening up and telling her EVERYtHING that happens to me just helped a lot.... I hope this is of some help to u ... sorry if not! GOOD LUCK
Thank you sooooooo much! My mom did have problems when she was younger (smoked from 12-14) and she did drugs. Her dad was also really mean to her and her 8 (!) siblings. I guess shes just looking out 4 me and I should understand that. Im the oldest kid in my family, I only have 1 brother. All this advice helped a lot...except for some from some of the ppl...which ill never take. Thanx again!