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Old 08-21-2003, 04:05 AM   #1
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Post first year of high school

my first year of high school starts on september 2nd(but at the same school i went to for middle). i was woundering, how can i make a good impression to gurls in my first first few weeks of high school??



[This message has been edited by joecaps6812 (edited 08-21-2003).]
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Old 08-21-2003, 04:52 AM   #2
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Thing is, even if you knew exactly what kind of guy the average high school girl fancies, if you just act like that and style yourself like that, then you're a sad, shallow fake and a girl who goes out with you will soon see through that and dump you.

Be yourself, don't try too hard to impress them - remember you can't "make" someone fall for you they have to like you on their own accord!

Also, every person is different so while some girls like tall guys or chatty guys, others like short guys or shy guys. Some like intelligent guys, some like sporty types, some like funny guys, some like romantic guys - we're all different!

The same goes for your way of impressing them - some shallow kiddos like show-offs and don't care what you're really like or that you have an egg shell for a brain, others despise show-offs and want a guy they can actually hold a conversation with. Some find shy "geeks" sexy and others find them ridiculous and would rather have some biceps to squeeze instead of a man who can pronounce words with more than once syllable (AND knows what they mean ).

It all depends on what type of girl you're trying to impress, but as I said before if you're faking it you'll either attract shallow idiots or you'll get dumped before you can say "hot potato"

PS: Maybe you should learn to spell, "gurls" generally go for literate types who read more than just the TV guide

[This message has been edited by Redhead23 (edited 08-21-2003).]
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Old 08-21-2003, 04:59 AM   #3
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my computer is fu**ed up,it doesnt let me spell it correctly,it forces me to use gurl, but thanks for the advice, ill try to be myself when i talk and be around them and try to do what you said.

[This message has been edited by joecaps6812 (edited 08-21-2003).]
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Old 08-21-2003, 05:09 AM   #4
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LOL what's wrong with your computer?

Anyway yes be yourself, when I was your age I was a total outcast (v.v. shy, I can't hack body language/smalltalk) but I still got to see how others acted around each other, and most of the show-offs were secretly laughed at behind their backs.

If you're into something (music, sports) then by all means make it known to people but don't feel like you "have" to be in a band or be into a type of music, dress a certain way or have certain hobbies to impress others. Self confidence (LOL well as long as you're not all cocky and stuck-up that is )is one of the sexiest properties a guy can have, and if you're happy with yourself and you like yourself, the way you look etc. then others WILL notice it
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Old 08-21-2003, 05:22 AM   #5
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i think the problem is that i am a bit shy, im not that good at the small talk, and i am usually better off when another brings up a topic to talk about. If i want to talk to a gurl(this computer sucks), i usually dont have the guts to do it, and sometimes i cant talk freely about myself

[This message has been edited by joecaps6812 (edited 08-21-2003).]
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Old 08-21-2003, 05:51 AM   #6
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Yeah that's just like I was when I was in high School, although I was extremely shy and an only child which didn't help. The best way is to get talking over stuff that is not at all related to asking a girl out, say when you're working on a project or you're in the same group for a subject (I did photography and later art as optional subjects and it's a lot easier to get talking than in normal classes) or an out-of-school activity.

That way you don't have to be "full-on" and ask a girl out but she can get to know the real you.

I'm sure most people over 20 have used "excuses" at some point or other to get talking to someone or keep them in conversation, say asking them to lend you something you need for the course, asking them where they got something from, asking for help with course work etc.

It's a great way of getting to talk to someone without having to "come out" with some kind of chat-up line, and they still get to know you and you can often tell from their reaction (offish, nervous, cool, indifferent etc.) whether or not they like you, without putting them in a position where they have to tell you whether or not they like you straight away.

Obviously if you have interesting hobbies (say you work on the school paper) or you're on a team/in a group in school that a girl is interested in she'll be more likely to start talking to you, but the best way is to get talking about simple stuff to do with school etc.
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Old 08-21-2003, 06:07 AM   #7
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good points, ill try talking about my intrests and hobbies. what are some tips to overcome the shyness of talking to someone that you dont know? what did you do? i was also worried about my appearence. does it matter to gurls what kind of clothes you wear or your hair and eyes?? i dont think i look good with longer hair or extremely short hair, but it grows so fast i need to cut it every so often.
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Old 08-21-2003, 06:29 AM   #8
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It's hard to "break the ice" with new people, to be honest it took me a LONG time to get over these issues and I still don't function too well in groups. One on one I work a lot better because it's far easier for me to grasp when the other person has finished talking, and it's easier for me to keep up with their body language and pay them attention (look at them instead of staring into space).

I recently saw a documentary about a kid with Asperger's syndrome and one of the problems he has is he can't look people in the eye and gets v. uncomfortable - I get that as well to some degree. He said what he does is look at a spot between the person's eyes instead, to the other person it looks just like you're looking at their eyes casually so they obviously can't tellt he difference!

The most important thing to get into your head is that others really do not scrutinise you quite as much as you might think - a spot here or a "rebellious" hair there may REALLY bother you and you can obsess for hours over your nose or how broad your shoulders are and whatnot, but really unless you're seriously disfigured most people just don't pay THAT much attention!

You have to learn to relax a bit, think through what you're going to say before you say it, but don't obsess over it because you'll just get more and mroe anxious.

Yeah looks *do* matter but again totally subjective, do you have someone other than your parents (who will always say you look great no matter what) or your siblings (more likely to make fun of you and tell you you're a hideous freak of nature ) you could ask about the way you dress/wear your hair? Obviously it needs to be someone you can trust, someone who is going to give an honest opinion not just go "you look great" no matter what.

One thing you always have to remember is that the person you're talking to MAY be more confident etc. but they know just as little about you as you know about them, they probably look very confident but inside they're just as shy and anxious over meeting new people, they just often don't worry quite as much about it!

It took me a long time but eventually I got over some of these anxieties, there's no point stressing about what others think because if you worry too much your confidence suffers. ****** happens and you'll get through it, freaking yourself out about it in advance will only make it worse! (Works for job interviews etc. as well!)

It also helps if you're in a group and you don't know anyone, to wait for a little while (not too long because if you stay quiet for too long it makes it harder to finally "come out" with something to say and you obsess over what to say) and just listen/pay attention to what others are saying, before saying something yourself.

It's always easier to start talking to someone when you already have a vague idea what they're like, what they're into and what they like to talk about.

Obviously stalking them is creepy but if you just carefully pay attention to what someone says for a while it does tend to pay off - us shy types often tend to accumulate a lot of knowledge about other people and we tend to remember stuff they said better, mainly because we weren't so engulfed in talking about "Me, Me, Me". So if you know that someone was talking about buying something, going somewhere (park, zoo, movie etc.), that someone they knew had problems or whatever then it gives you extra things to talk about (Like "Hey, you said you were going to get this and that, how is it" or "Didn't you go to see that movie, did you like it?").

Remembering stuff like that, be it funny stuff or sad stuff or just generally stuff that happens in other people's lives, is quite a valuable skill and people will notice that you care if you occasionaly mention that kind of stuff - it's much more valuable than the usual smalltalk and it shows them that you care about them as a person

[This message has been edited by Redhead23 (edited 08-21-2003).]
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Old 08-21-2003, 08:34 PM   #9
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"PS: Maybe you should learn to spell, "gurls" generally go for literate types who read more than just the TV guide"

lol, I thought that was so cute.

 
Old 08-22-2003, 05:17 AM   #10
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i just want to make a good impression to gurls when i walk in the first few days and weeks, to say im a good person to talk to, and be around. what are some good things to talk about around them?
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Old 08-22-2003, 01:16 PM   #11
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hey man,

i'm gonna be a freshman this year two. I'm prolly gonna go through the same sh*t as you. The best way to make a good impression is to stand out the first few days of school. Do something that know one would expect you to do. Like make fun of a teacher while everyones watchin. Girls like funny guys and also confident, outgoing guys. If you want you can email me and we can talk some more bout high school. Peace!

 
Old 08-22-2003, 01:28 PM   #12
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sure, but my email doesnt work. do you have AIM?? my sn is joecaps6812.

[This message has been edited by joecaps6812 (edited 08-22-2003).]
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i am 14 years old, 5'11", 145lbs

 
Old 08-22-2003, 03:09 PM   #13
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NO
NO
NO
NO
DO NOT MAKE FUN OF YOUR TEACHERS TO THEIR FACE INFRONT OF THEM. That will give the impression that your an a-hole.

talk about infront of them? 'cool' experiances, like concerts (not like brittney spears, try rock or rap, whicher ur preferance) or anything scary, like...if u were getting chased through the subway by four cops with their guns out cause you hopped, and had to break the glass on a subway train and climb out, because it was too crowded and they were too close(eheh, that day was fun) anyway, just random things that youve done, that will make you seem like an exciting fun person to be around, you dont have to act too crazy or cracked out cause thats a turnoff, but dont make yourself seem like a loser, and bring up 'yeah when i was w/ my friend'

dont say the same name too many times ((hopefully u can tell true stories LOL)

 
Old 08-22-2003, 04:19 PM   #14
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Yeah i got AiM. my screen name is bojanglydave14. talk to ya soon. and dont listen to what the last person said, shes full of Bull.

 
Old 08-24-2003, 09:04 PM   #15
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uhm..ok..i guess since im full of bull i wont help yaull anymore. back to the health section

 
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