I had alot of bf's most of them played me or they weren't my type....none of the guys seem to like me like me in my school ( i moved in 8th grade now im in 9th) i don't know what i'm doing....i have a lot of guy friends i know i don't need more than that at my age but i feel so insecure about my self i'm trying to look at the positive side but im still not self- confident....can i get some tips?
Personally, i think its better to have a lot of guy friends. i just started 9th grade and last year and this summer, ive had some experience in that field. guys played me AND my friends and the boyfriends that i have had havent been my type. this is going to sound REALLY corny, but just be yourself. if you arent yourself when youre around guys, then theyre gonna get the wrong impression of you and if they dont like who you really are, then forget them cuz theyre not worth it.
When I was in H.S. I also had a lot of guy friends b/c I found them easier to be friends with. All the girls wanted nothing but drama in their lives, guys just wanted to chill & have fun! I was sucha tomboy till I was in the 10th grade & I met a guy from another town that I had a lot in common with. We started 'going out' & he was such a great guy... we were best friends, but it was different being with him then the other guys. Now we are 21 & still together & still hang out with all the guys (who by the way don't have g/f's!). But I can't complain, b/c like I said, I like being 'one of the guys' & not having to deal with the drama & all of "my guys" (as I like to call them jokingly) except me for the person that I am, plus they respect me in a different way b/c they know that I am taken so there is none of that awkeward flirting involved when we hang out - just good old fun! We hang out with girls sometimes & I do have a few girlfriends, but they are just like me & that is why we get along.
You deffintely need to just be yourself... sounds so simple, but it's true! Try not to be too shy, but at the same time don't be TOO outgoing & wild... have a nice medium! Don't try to think about weather or not they like you as more of a friend, chances are that if they do they will let you know!
Ok Truth is most of the girls that I remember from HS that had a lot of guy friends were little sluts. I had maybe 2 guy friends both gay and a **** load of girl friends, and I just remember the girls hanging around all the guys always went to drunken parties and fooled around with every one, thats why the guys liked to be around them, DUH. And you can try to deny it, but I wont buy it, I men who wouldn’t deny it? Also you say that “I had a lot of bf's most of them played me” A LOT OF B’FS? and your how old? And they all played you, well the only way you can let a guy play you is if you “put out”. If you don’t then who cares if he sticks around or not. You only feel bad about it when you do **** with him and then he leaves. Men will mess around with just about any thing that walks, but they will only be serious with the classy girls how keep there paints on. Trust me, if your being played in 8th grade you got a problem. I know what your doing, and my advice is to stop it. Stop dating every one, and stop being so easy.
I'm a freshmen not in 8th grade.... and if you're saying i'm cheap why dont you go look at all my girl friends. I'm 14...and what do u mean by put out? you know thats stupid when you say
" u should only feel bad if you actually ****" thats stupid because u cant tell people what they should or shouldn't feel and im sorry but u cant just go around calling people with "problems" sluts because they have alot of guy friends. and who told u i dont have a sh** load of girlfriends? what u just sort of decided that? and by guy friends i mean just being friends with a guy and talking on the phone and chillin not being gf/bf and just having both girl friends and guy friends doesnt make me a **** coz i have both....
dont deleberatly go looking for people as such, just sit back for a bit, and devolpe some frendships with people, who knows they may lead to something more. (this is comin from a guy) but with my gf we just started out as frends and became really close. hope this is of some relevance and helps.
The truth is, girls that call other girls sluts are girls who wish they had enough (or any) guys like them enough so they could choose whether or not to be sluts. It's such a demeaning thing to say, and yet your desperation, jealousy, and insecurity comes through as you call this girl, who has done NOTHING to suggest she's sexually active with lots of boys, a ****. I remember this so well from HS. I was very pretty, with a big empty house where I would have fun parties with all my guy friends. I had a serious BF through half of HS, and then another through most of college, so I was NOT hooking up with all these guys that hung out at my house. They liked me because I was laid back, because my guy friends were laid back, unlike most teenage girls who are bitter, jealous, gossipy, and pitifully insecure. The desirable guys wanted to hang around other guys and me (because I was fun, and after all, they need a LITTLE eye candy ) because we were not annoying desperate girls, maybe girls like yourself and your friends? Just going from what you said, not meaning to attack you here. Why don't you lighten up, stop being judgmental and throwing around blanket slurs without even knowing anything about the people you're referring to. That truly reeks of desperation, jealousy, and low self-esteem--it doesn't reflect badly on the anonymous, unknown people you call sluts, it just makes you look bad.
Samurai, what you said reeks of tired double standards and plain old sexism. Where did the poster say she was going out with lots of guys? She has lots of guy FRIENDS. And even if she dated a few guys and things didn't go right, that makes her some undesirable, used-up ****? That's thinking from the 50s. These days, women have the right to date whoever they please, just like guys, and double-standards should be dead in the water by now. Honestly, anyone who uses the word **** is either a jealous, undesirable girl who NO guys want, or a bitter guy who NO girls want. Why can't you just live your own lives without trying to judge and degrade people you don't even know out of insecurity and jealousy?
Roxy, honey, I think you're awesome. You sound just like me. Guys want to be your friend because you are fun, cool and laid back, very down to earth. Unlike most girls your age, your life doesn't revolve around spending as much money as possible on the right clothes, makeup, and beauty treatments so boys will hopefully (but not usually) like you. Instead, you're probably interested in sports and school and just hanging out, playing games, and having a good time--just like guys. No wonder they like you...honey, don't worry about not having a boyfriend yet. It's great to have lots of guy friends to look out for you, introduce you to good guys they consider worthy of a good friend like you, and entertain you in the time being. The other girls will be jealous, make up lies, and talk about you nonstop but DON'T LISTEN TO THEM. You are so much better than they are--they just wish any guy liked them, as a friend or otherwise, so instead they spend all their time jealously complaining about YOU. And because they spend all their time blabbing about superficial stuff like style, gossip, and their insecurities, all the cute, smart boys stay as far away from them as they can get. You'll have your share of BFs, and you'll be able to pick from the cream of the crop while they fight over your scraps. When I got to HS, this one girl who said nasty things about me always threw herself over my ex-boyfriends just as soon as I dumped them. That's all these name-calling jealous ***** have to hope for-- your sloppy seconds . Hold your head up high and be proud, honey!! You ARE what they want to be, so be happy with yourself, do what you want, and don't worry about having girlfriends in HS--they inevitably get jealous, deceive you, and stab you in the back. Boy friends are much more trustworthy, loyal, and protective--they're the real keeper friends when you're in HS. You have so much going for you--don't let any insecure girls drag you down or intimidate you from being friends with guys. Trust me, it's only the guys you can ever count on to have your back!
I forgot to add these; please look back on these old threads for some great tips about how to boost your confidence and self-esteem. From what I can see you're a smart, beautiful, amazing girl (I just love how you replied to that bitter, jealous poster!! --you rock!!), but these threads provide lots of tips about how to increase your inner feelings about yourself. Please give them a look :
The funny thing about this post is that this is dated back to 2003....That would make Roxy a sophmore and I was going to give advice about she will gain new friends as school went along but a year past and I am sure she has found what she needed. good thread though