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Old 08-28-2003, 09:56 PM   #1
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Unhappy How come teenaged guys hardly care for teenaged girls overweight?

I am 16 and overweight. Im not really saying that all guys dont care, its just that do they hardly care about overweight girls who have low self-esteem. I have never had a boyfriend because I am always to shy and self-concious about myself. Im usualy just the 'friend'. My friend is lucky though, she is a bit more overweight than me, but she seems to have high self-esteem. She has had a lot of relationships through out the years I have known her. I just dont see how she does it. I have plenty of crushes, but then I always just put myself down saying in my head, thay they're too good for me, they'd never want to go out with me, I just always be their friend. Is there anything I can do..?

 
Old 08-28-2003, 10:57 PM   #2
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I think you already answered your question honey... "she seems to have high self esteem" I know how it feels.. it's not easy... I've got some "junk in the trunk" myself.. and unfortunately (no insult to anyone.. I'm not saying all are) alot of teenage boys are really shallow.. however.. alot of how other people see you is how you you see yourself... you don't have to be a supermodel or even be thin... you're beautiful to someone... I have a friend that I *swear* makes bloodhound looks sexy... and she *constantly* has a new boyfriend.... why? she believes... that she looks like britney spears.. and since she does have a good personatlity and other good qualities to back it up... her unconventional beauty attracts alot of people..

stop telling yourself that you're ugly and not worth it because you've got a couple of extra pounds.. find things you like about yourself and remind yourself that they're there every day... accentuate them.. and remind yourself you ARE beautiful and you ARE worth it and what some 15 year old little boy with a crush on a supermodel thinks about you isn't worth anything to anyone.. it will happen in time.. somebody probably already likes you and you don't even know it

 
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:10 PM   #3
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!!!! thats a lie!!! girls are far more shallow than guys your problably choosing the boys you like out of how they look so that makes you a hipocrit i have high self esteem and im not shallow iv asked many girls of alot alot alot of different sizes and shapes and colors and have been rejected many times in almost repulvivly cruel ways its sad that the girls who would be considered perfect by society are the ones who usually like me alot so....i dont know you and im not judging you but everyone is insecure and everyone is cruel so i just judged you didnt i?
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:11 PM   #4
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iv never rejected anyone in my entire life and im a guy you sexist oh wait im sexist too.....
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:22 PM   #5
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hot chicks are sweet. if your fat then your not hot so your not sweet.

guys dig the chicks that look good.

Lose some weight not only to have guys look at you differently but for health purposes.

It's easier to lose your weight now when your younger and more active then to have it just get worse and less active.


 
Old 08-29-2003, 08:24 PM   #6
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no i dont believe that you are prolly perfect looking you just dont realize it but anyone who feels they arent good enough for someone must have a set of standards and standards create shallowness
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Old 08-29-2003, 09:07 PM   #7
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I would have to say that if guys dont like you for who you are then they arent worth having at all. I have a friend that is overweight and she always had a low self esteem but she eventually found a guy that liked her for her. Eventually you will find someone that likes you for you and it wont matter to you that you havent had any boyfriends before him all that will matter is that you found a good one finally. Understand?


 
Old 08-29-2003, 09:55 PM   #8
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Well, girls are actually much more into how a guy looks, then we guys are (at least chicks 13-18)

I personally dont care how big or small a girls breats, are, her hight, her eyes, her hair, etc. However I couldnt ever go out with a girl that is overweight.

However thats sort of what im into petite chicks, frineds sometimes thinks such girls are nasty looking, and that is the majority of guys, so I think you got a good chance. Just think of yourself as good, and raise your self esteem!

Work out a bit if you wanna loose weight, if you dont, be happy with who you are.

 
Old 08-30-2003, 08:17 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by andrew127:
hot chicks are sweet. if your fat then your not hot so your not sweet.

guys dig the chicks that look good.

Lose some weight not only to have guys look at you differently but for health purposes.

It's easier to lose your weight now when your younger and more active then to have it just get worse and less active.

I think that completely prooves my point...

 
Old 08-30-2003, 09:08 PM   #10
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Honey, NEVER say that any guy is too good for you. Granted I don't know you, but I'm sure you are a wonderful person. I'm in a similar boat. I am over weight, and I haven't had too many boyfriends. I've had a few and dated a few guys not seriously, but as a teenager, there really isn't a point. I'm sure there are many teenagers that will disagree and blah blah, but I never believed in teenage love. I thought it was basically a bunch of crap. I, too, have been in the "friend" category many many MANY times. I've been a friend. I've been screwed over. I've been used. It happens to everyone. You will one day meet the perfect guy for you. He will accept you for what you are on the outside and on the inside. Over the years, I'm learning to accept being over weight. Sure, I would still like to lose weight, but if it's meant to happen, it will. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. Don't lower your standards. You will one day find a remarkable guy. My signature has a quote from Sex and the City that I absolutely love and has made me feel a lot better about things. I hope it can help you too. Good luck and know that there are people here that will help you and not judge.

------------------
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~
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Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~

 
Old 09-01-2003, 02:40 PM   #11
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well... i dont think it is your weight that you are scred of..you are scared of guys not likeing you for yuo! and you know what screw them if they dont!! they are worried about a prefect little girl that here friends will like!! so dont worry about it its not you..its there personality that is making them the way they are...so dont worry bout yuor weight and be happy w/ who you are!!
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Old 09-01-2003, 08:56 PM   #12
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As I said, im really not into overwright girls at all. their nice, got nothing against them, exept Im not overweight, and im into petite girls, meaning them being small, not short and stump, but small, but my age.

However, I have plenty of frineds that date slightly overweight girls. Why? Their a lot nicer..they say. Why? Because they think of themselves as not being as good in looks then a skinny barby. Well they should, but they are a lot nicer go the guys..Not *****y. So They date them for who they are..I think its kind of nice..too bad I could never do it...

 
Old 09-01-2003, 10:13 PM   #13
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Well, the reason why guys dont care for girls overweight is because guys are really big on physical appeal. Not only is being overweight not very attractive its also unhealthy like other people said previously. Guys also like to show off thier girls, so showing off an overweight girl wouldnt really do them any good. Im sorry but its the truth, but its true, you should lose some weight. I was never overweight but i went from having baby fat to being a stud. It took be about a year and my confidence and self esteem went sky high. I can now approach the oppisite sex more comfortably. In the end giving up those extra snacks and giving up watching about an extra hour of tv to workout is worth it. Best of Luck.

 
Old 09-02-2003, 01:50 AM   #14
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Well you can't blame people for who they are and aren't attracted to, we can't really help who we fancy, we each have our individual tastes and if the chemistry isn't there then it isn't there - we can't just "magic" it up because we ought to feel sorry for someone!

If someone is morbidly obese then sorry but that's very unhealthy and you can't blame people for not being attracted to someone who is morbidly obese.

HOWEVER different people have different tastes, and different things that attract them - self confidence (as long as it isn't arogance!) and a good sense of humour are always high on the list, REGARDLESS fo your weight.

The point is why are you overweight? Are you just built that way or do you have an eating disorder (compulsive overeating) or are you suffering from depression etc.? You need to work on yourself, eithe raccept yourself for who you are and learn to love yourself, or do something about your weight if that is what makes you so unhappy.

Many a (within limits of course) overweight girl or guy who is confident and happy with themselves is seen as very attractive/popular - if you're happy within yourself and confident then people can feel that and see that, but if you're miserable and hiding your feelings behind a wall of fat then that emotional distance can also be sensed by others.

If you can't love and respect yourself then how do you expect others to love you, or for that matter how can you lvoe someone else?

As they say true beauty comes from the inside, and I'm fairly sure it's true as far as happines with oneself and inner confidence is concerned!
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Old 09-02-2003, 02:45 AM   #15
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I stopped reading everyone else's posts so pardon me if I'm repeating someone.

if you think losing weight is the answer, think of the type of guy who'd notice you only after you looked better. it'd be someone who's primarily interested in how you look and not how you are. if you want a relationship that's based off of looks and physical attraction like that, then go for the super-model look.
I myself wouldn't want to try to be someone I'm not, because then I'd have a relationship with someone who thinks they're going out with someone who isn't me, which isn't a relationship that I can see lasting very long.

now admittedly, looks are pretty important to a teenage male, but being one myself, I know a lot of good looking girls I'd never date because of how they are, and a lot of other girls who aren't considered to be looking so great that I'd give a chance. my advice to you is going out on a limb and ask a few guys out. from the way you describe things, it doesn't sound like many guys are coming to you, so it's you who needs to try to get a guy's attention by approaching them and letting them know you're interested. a lot of teens have low self-esteem, and at the least it's very flattering to be asked out, and making a guy happy is a good way to get on good terms with him.

so my advice would be to make a choice about the type of guy you want to be with. if it's someone who only likes pretty girls, then worry about how you look. if you want to be with a guy who'll like you for who you are, take some risks and let them know, because come on, we're not mind readers.

 
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