Hi, I posted this on the children's health board and haven't gotten any responses so I thought I'd go to the experts - NO, not on bullying but how to deal with it. Parents always tell their kids to say and do things that don't fit the situation. I would appreciate any insight. Thank you! Here is the scoop:
Hi, my son is in 6th grade - first year at middle school. You know how you always want your child's first day at school to go well?! Well... my son came home and said lunchtime sucked. Why? Because a boy at the table behind him called him "gay" because he was sitting at a table with all girls. My son turned around to see who was talking and the jerk said, 'what do you think I'm cute? Do you want to go out with me?" AGGGHHH! My son just turned back to his friends and ignored him. I asked him if there were boys he could sit with and the next day he did, but only because he got to the table before the 8th boy made it to the table. You see, there can only be 8 at a table and after the first few days you have to stay where you're at unless you get permission to move.
So that day was okay. Then the third day my son went to sit at the boy's table and the 8th child was already there. He pulled up another chair and was told he couldn't do that (by the lunch monitor). So he ended up sitting at a table that had only two other boys sitting at it that he didn't know and didn't talk to them or them to him.
So, today he will be back sitting at the girl's table. Here are two things I told him he could do if the other kid bothered him. One, ignore him. Two, say "well, I'm the one with the girls, maybe you're gay."
A little background on my son. He is a tall 5'1" and weighs 130 lbs., very handsome (i'm not being particular - he really is) and all the girls like him. The girl he is sitting with is someone he's known since he was 2. Of course, that wouldn't matter to anyone but she is truly a friend.
What should be done if this boy keeps taunting him? Do you have any suggestions? Thank you! I'll let you know what happened today at lunch.
There is a "meet the teachers" night coming up and I was going to ask what they do about bullying.
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If you open the door even a little bit - the devil will fling it open. Keep it closed with prayer.
well thats good. i know it can be hard to some, but really stuff like that isnt a big deal. everyone will face that in school. your son needs to learn that this guys an idiot and it doesnt much matter what others say. but i do think that "well, I'm the one with the girls, maybe you're gay" would be a good one to say.
I luckily did not have to deal with any bullying in Middle School, and it's true, the generic advice you get doesn't really work. While saying that certain response may be good and may dumbfound him, it could lead to some physical contact. I still go with the ignore for now, see how far that gets him.
Thanks for your support! There haven't been any new reports about this child. My son says he sits facing him now and not with his back to him like when he was teased.
[This message has been edited by sawbuck44 (edited 09-11-2003).]
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If you open the door even a little bit - the devil will fling it open. Keep it closed with prayer.
Bullying at Middle School 
