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Old 09-07-2003, 07:28 PM   #1
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ForgetMeKnot HB User
Post FAIR?

In January, I cheated on my boyfriend with one of my cousins, boyfriends, friends.

My boyfriend now does not want me hanging out or going places with my cousin.

Because he said it only brings trouble. Right now we arent allowed to see each other because of my parents, and we are trying our best to keep it real. And I went to a festival at our park with my cousin, and a few friends. And no matter what I say he says that there were boys there, and they're werent. I swore to him, but he said he would never beleive me.

I know this could last forever- his not beleiving me or having trust in me...But should I just give up?-Its been almost two years.
He broke up with me tonight over it, but I think we'll get back together, we always do..

My cousin is like my sister to me..And now her boyfriend is very strict on her...But I can't get my boyfriend to see that either.

Am I just talking to a wall?

Will he ever change?

We both think once I move in with him at his house, that we will be much better, and everything will work out, because then ill be legal (18) and we'll be doig everything together without someone telling us we cant see each other.

I know I should be able to see my friends still and all...But my boyfriend doesnt trust me at all even with my friends Ive never done bad things with.

We havent been able to see each other but twice in three weeks...Is it not true love when we cant even keep together? And that he is accusing me?

I asked him what did he expect for me to stay in my room and cry about us all the time?


And he said that since he doesnt go out with his friends, that I shouldnt, or that because he doesnt go shopping, i shouldnt...And to me thats not fair at all...His friends ditched him and became big losers, just because they were jelous he had a girlfriend..my friends were understanding, and are still around.

 
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Old 09-08-2003, 05:37 PM   #2
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N0thingLsMatters HB User
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he sounds like a control freak. i would get rid of him.

 
Old 09-08-2003, 07:58 PM   #3
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I wouldnít bother trying to prove myself to him anymore. He can either forgive you and put it behind him, or not forgive you and keep bringing it up. He seems to keep bringing it up and you said you break up and get back together a lot. It is understandable for him to not trust you, but he needs to call it quits or get over it. He canít keep doing this to you. He seems to be a control freak also. If a guy wonít let you have a life of your own without him, there is something VERY wrong with that. Things arenít going to get better when you two move in together. You being legal has nothing to do with it. Youíll be leaving with him and wonít be able to get away from him if you arenít allowed to have a life. This guy sounds like a big loser. Iíd get rid of him.

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Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~
__________________
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~

 
Old 09-08-2003, 10:23 PM   #4
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ttomm HB User
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Of course he doesnt trust you! You cheated on him! Break it off, he is controlling and you cheated on him. If you cheat on someone dont expect them to ever forget when you backstabbed them. Maybe forgive you but never forget. It would be hard as hell to ever trust someone after being betrayed like that.

 
Old 09-13-2003, 07:39 PM   #5
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CamoLov3 HB User
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i hope he doesnt put this behind.. that was stupid! you cheated on him and obviously he doesnt trust you for that reason.. and of allpeople his cousin and friend? maybe you should talk to him and tell him why.. obviously there is something seriously wrong..for you to do that.
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Old 09-16-2003, 02:45 PM   #6
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ForgetMeKnot HB User
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It was my cousins boyfriends friend. Kinda confusing...Thats why he dont want me around my cousin, because he says she brings around trouble...as in other guys..

I know it was very wrong for me to cheat on him, and being cheated on myself I know the feeling, and I didnt even take my ex boyfriend back when he cheated on me, obviously since he is my ex.

I think it took a lot out of my boyfriend to take me back once I did this.

And its not that I want to get away from him...If I could spend every minute with him, I would. Thats why I thought that once we're together or can see each other more, like when I want to without parents saying this or that, things will be better between us.

Reason I did cheat on him was that, because my grandparents who are raising me, think that groups are better than just one on one, they woudlnt let me see my boyfriend so i didnt want to stay home and was asked to go to the movies with my cousin, her boyfriend, and some friends of his, and then a guy kissed me.

Im going to stay with him though. And thats why i wanted to know how fair it was..I think i deserve to be told not to hang out with them becuse i even know they bring trouble.


 
Old 09-16-2003, 06:18 PM   #7
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wondertwin44 HB User
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Quote:
Originally posted by ForgetMeKnot:
I think i deserve to be told not to hang out with them becuse i even know they bring trouble.
If you don't want to hang out with them, that's one thing, but you shouldn't say you "deserve to be told not to hang out with them." Your boyfriend should't be telling you that you aren't allowed to do anything. The guy kissed you. That's not really a big deal. It's not like you slept with him. Your boyfriend needs to get over it and not bring it up all the time.



------------------
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~
__________________
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~

 
Old 09-17-2003, 02:06 PM   #8
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being fair? yes. he doesn't even know the guy, which is a problem. will he change? talk to him about the situation. tell him your sorry and it wont happen again, then make sure it doesnt happen again. hope that helps?

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Old 09-21-2003, 01:32 PM   #9
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ForgetMeKnot HB User
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He does need to get over it, and Ive told him he needs to too. I have told him countless times that it wont ever happen again, and it happened back in March and now its almost October, and he still brings it up, and says stuff about it.

He said that he'll never be able to get over it, and I told him he is immature then, and he just goes off.

It really hurts me, and I dont know if I should leave him, beacuse when I do break up with him I find myself calling him non stop or going to the place that he is at. I guess im just really screwed up. PLus when we arent together I feel like their is an empty space, and I have nothing to do either.

 
Old 09-21-2003, 08:38 PM   #10
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Honey, would you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn't trust you? He keeps bringing it up and must know it makes you feel bad which probably makes him feel better. It seems like he has a power trip going. Get some self-control and don't call him. I know how hard it may be, but you just may need to do it. You have nothing to do if you aren't with him? Why is he your whole life? Take up a hobby. You must have some friends. You need to be a YOU because you can be a you and whatever his name is. It may be hard, but you can do it!

------------------
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~

[This message has been edited by wondertwin44 (edited 09-21-2003).]
__________________
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~

 
Old 09-24-2003, 03:47 PM   #11
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ForgetMeKnot HB User
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After a few hard weeks, we finally sat down, and had a good long talk about everything.

He agreed on things, and I agreed on things. And he hasnt talked about the past either, and he said the reason he brings it up is to have something to say against me, and I start fighting with him, which I am argumentive at times.

I dont see myself with anyone else, hes challenging, and I need someone like that. Weird, I know...But if I had a all around sweet guy, who didnt care where I went and who I was with, it would kinda make u wonder...

All I can see is us in the future beacuse its all like planned out already between us, and his family loves me, and I dont see something this good happening with another guy.

Thanks for your concerns, and questions..Even though I am listening to my self mostly, ur questions, and comments really make me think about things in my life right now, and made me get him to open up about it.

 
Old 09-24-2003, 05:44 PM   #12
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wondertwin44 HB User
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Alright, well if things are going well now, then that is good. Though you say you can't see yourself with anyone else because your future is planed and his family loves you, just don't settle for him because it's convenient and easy. Good luck though, and I'm here if you need to talk.

------------------
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~
__________________
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~

 
Old 09-25-2003, 07:24 PM   #13
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ForgetMeKnot HB User
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Ughh, I really dont like the feeling I just got when I read "dont just settle with him because he is convenient and easy", I know I have thought about that, but I never figured out the real words to it, like u have just expressed.

I think half of the reason why I am still with him, or maybe a little less, IS because his family adores me, and everything IS convenient, and if I became pregnant his family would be more than willing to help, and they already said when i am 18 i can move in with them, and his family is so different from mine, mine is so uptight, and superficial pessismists, and his family is more relaxed, and open minded, optimistic people..sometimes a little TOO relaxed. But it definitly feels good to get away from the tension of my family to the relaxed atmosphere of their house, and their attitudes. They have their problems too, as all people, but the way they handle it is nothing compared to my families.

I think I am falling more for his family than him! And that is starting to scare me!

My boyfriend doesnt talk much, but neither does his dad, so that must just be inheritied, but it drives me nuts, I cant possible have a conversation with him and keep his attentio unless im balling my eyes out, like i was when i finally talked to him about this fair thing. I am the only one that ever talks in our conversations, and it DRIVES ME NUTS!

 
Old 09-25-2003, 07:38 PM   #14
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wondertwin44 HB User
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Yeah, it kinda of does sound like you like his family more than him. Have you tried talking to him about his not talking much? I know how irritating it can be to have to initiates conversation all the time. I think that perhaps you need to actually think about your relationship with him. It sort of sounds like you're still with him because his family loves you and is not as uptight as yours. I think that perhaps you need to think things over here.

------------------
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~
__________________
Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it and chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can't feel bad about that.
Carrie, ~SATC~

 
Old 09-26-2003, 05:30 AM   #15
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ForgetMeKnot HB User
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Tonight we're going to go shopping together at the grocery store~pick up my check~cash it~and deposit it after school. Something to do together I thought outside of his house.

Im going to go see him tonight, and we're going to talk about it.

Although he never talks to me hardly on the phone yesterday he was really bad at not talking an he said he felt nauseas, and me being impatient yelled at him and hung up...I know that was bad:-\

 
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