HealthBoards

HealthBoards (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/)
-   Teen Health (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/teen-health/)
-   -   depressed and lonely (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/teen-health/136381-depressed-lonely.html)

prsurf 12-21-2003 08:33 PM

depressed and lonely
 
ok well i'm in my late teens and well i'm lonely and depressed because i never had a real relationship, i have had sex with a girl s but they were just friends that turned into a fling because of drunken stupidness but i really want to be in a relationship but i'm really shy and i go to clubs with my friends but i cant just go grind with a girl i dont even know. i always fall for friends but then the girls will always say we are better off as friends. i mean i get told i'm cute so its not like i'm a troll. i also am a caring person who is always there for my friends and stuff and i'm funny so i just dont know what my problem is

sawbuck44 12-22-2003 12:44 PM

Re: depressed and lonely
 
Don't get too hung up on being in a relationship. Enjoy yourself first and get to know who you are. You can't offer much if you can't get yourself together. Just because you're alone doesn't mean you have to feel lonely. The idea that another person is needed to complete you is not healthy. Only when you are complete can you be there for someone else. Surround yourself with good friends and get involved in an activity. Do you like aggressive sports like skateboarding or inline skating? Martial Arts? If you sign up for tae kwondo or something, you'll be getting yourself in shape and you'll be around great people!

prsurf 12-22-2003 04:31 PM

Re: depressed and lonely
 
hey thanx but i do do a lot of sports i'm on a swim team and i play lacrosse and i play other various sports, the thing is i have a lot of good friends but i want that someone who will always be there for me and stuff. i am ready for a relationship and i want to be in one, i mean i'm a psyc major at my college so i do know what is going on in my head but i just know i want to be in a relationship and have fun like that. i do have fun chillin with my friends i just feel left out because all my friends have somebody and i dont. and i dont want a g/f because all my friends are in a relationship i just really want to be in a relationship

Connor 12-23-2003 07:07 AM

Re: depressed and lonely
 
ive known a couple of guys who were in your position. and they still are.

what you gotta do , is like yourself first. dont feel discouraged because no one sees that you are this great person. cause if you know you are. then you are fine. you are ok. you just gotta really put yourself out on that ledge. and take the risk of getting to know a girl who youve maybe only seen once or twice. you gotta be known among the female crowd. you gotta build this small reputation of yourself. you know just show off the qualities that you like about yourself that maybe dont seem to seep thru the surface to others. if you for instance like poetry, or classical music. let it be known that you do. cause even though i know it may seem cheesy. but when it comes to movies, music, and specific tastes and habits. thats what is found in common. thats what has you see that maybe this person and i could get along . if you have the habit of scratching your chin or something goofy like that. then do it. its the little quirks and eccentricities that are found attractive to others. because its different. it puts this slight mysticism about you.

for me. ive never really had the urge to go and get myself a girlfriend. and its strange and quite crazy how i always seem to wind up with an opportunity to have one . but i dont want to go looking for one. if the chance just falls down upon me. then maybe ill consider it.

for you. you seem to be the opposite. but for me. i mean i like who i am. im comfortable with being the way i am. i know that people like the way i am. and i have all these imperfections and what not. we al do. but ive accepted that. if you can do the same. then you wont feel depressed. you gotta realize that you are a single guy. and from the way you describe yourself. you are certainly an approachable guy.

so only thing thats got you in a rut. is that no one has approached you. but i bet that without a doubt. there is at the least one girl who finds you attractive or cute or whatever.

and well of course you probably wont realize it . cause you are so stuck up on beating yourself down for not having a girlfriend at the moment.

you gotta open your eyes beyond what you think you see. which is possibly just a rejection. or i dunno what you are thinking. but your life seems to be just great.

if you wanna test how compatible you can be with anonymous strangers haha. then get an instant messenger and chat away with girls on the internet. go to a yahoo chat room or whatever. and see if you and a girl can establish a down to earth conversation. cause if you can do that several times. without even trying. then you are definately an interesting person. and once you build the confidence on something like that. then you can go out and talk to any girl that you see out in public.

its all about gaining confidence and seeing yourself for who you really are. once you are comfortable with yourself. then you wont feel depressed. as for the loneliness, thats where the confidence has to kick in. go up to any girl you see that you like. and be like hey hows it going. or hey how are you. you know keep it simple. you gotta build yourself somewhat of a resume with the female crowd. now i dont mean go and hit on the first girl you see haha. cause thats not what i mean.

but oh well. thats all that i can say on this particular topic. ive seen it before. ive told a friend the same thing. and his depression went away. he hasnt found a girlfriend as of yet. but he is certainly a well established invdividual among the female crowd.

Will M. 12-23-2003 09:32 AM

Re: depressed and lonely
 
[QUOTE=prsurf]ok well i'm in my late teens and well i'm lonely and depressed because i never had a real relationship, i have had sex with a girl s but they were just friends that turned into a fling because of drunken stupidness but i really want to be in a relationship but i'm really shy and i go to clubs with my friends but i cant just go grind with a girl i dont even know. i always fall for friends but then the girls will always say we are better off as friends. i mean i get told i'm cute so its not like i'm a troll. i also am a caring person who is always there for my friends and stuff and i'm funny so i just dont know what my problem is[/QUOTE]

I can see myself entering that situation if I don't make a right decision in the next couple of weeks. I hate when you know that you are a good person, but somebody fails to see that. For me, I never want to talk about myself; I'm always interested in what the girl's life is like, but then she won't know what [i]I'm[/i] like, and then that's when I get the "I like you better as a friend" response.

So next time your in a conversation with somebody who you are considering as a relationship, don't be afraid to let her know who [i]you[/i] are.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:11 PM.