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Old 12-30-2003, 10:29 AM   #1
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so_confuzzled HB User
can u subconsiously start to not like someone?

Hey, I dunno how to really say this and all. I am 18 years old and really confused on why i do this and whats going on. I have been dating this guy for about... a month id say? But the thing is were not bf gf, even though he isn't seeing anybody else but me. Im not seeing anyone either but him, but i have asked like when were dating what does it mean and he goes were just "here" i tried having him explain what 'here" means and he says just here having fun being with each other, not caring and stuff. And ive asked him if that means we can see other people and he never answers that. what do you think he means???? But see i also have another problem. I haven't had a bf since my junior year, ive dated a ton since. and i am now a freshman in college. The thing is when i start to date a guy or such, ill really like him in the beginning. But when i get to know him ill start its like subconsiously ill look for things for me to hate and such so im not attatched to like him more. I dont know if its because im scared to get in a relationship because i don't understand it. I hate finding thigns i don't like. Could it be because my dad cheated on my mom and i feel ill get hurt? ive been cheated on to, my ex was a psycho and i have a restraining order against him. I hate this, ill seriously find someone i like but im so scared of the word" relationship" i don't know why i can't stand it, it makes me cry a lot because i feel like there is something wrong with me, and im starting to now do it with russ, the first guy i was talking about. I think im scared to really care for someone because im afraid of getting hurt, ive also never been in love and i see it all around me. I wish i had that but im so scared.. does anyone have any advice???? plz help-chrystal

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Old 12-30-2003, 11:06 AM   #2
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Re: can u subconsiously start to not like someone?

I know how you feel. You start finding all these things wrong with them and suddenly you found yourself not even liking the person anymore. I think that our mind can do that. (Ex: if you constantly tell yourself your ugly or fat then pretty soon you believe it.)But now that I know I do this, when I think something bad about someone I also think good. I remind myself(my mind) of all the good things and it helps. I do think it has A LOT to do with dad cheating on your mom. My parents had a really bad relationship too and I feel as though it was affected me in ways that will last forever. If it affects you enough you might think about going to see a therapist.
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Old 12-30-2003, 01:13 PM   #3
DBZ DBZ is offline
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Re: can u subconsiously start to not like someone?

yeah your mind can do that but...

A guy should be able to say that he loves and wants only you, but at the same time if my BF asked me if he or we could see other people, I'd see it as he is losing interest in me.

 
Old 01-02-2004, 05:21 PM   #4
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grrr HB User
Re: can u subconsiously start to not like someone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DBZ
yeah your mind can do that but...

A guy should be able to say that he loves and wants only you, but at the same time if my BF asked me if he or we could see other people, I'd see it as he is losing interest in me.


Hey there is cunfuzzled i got banned i don't know why, ya i dunn0 i spent the weekend with russ and ih ad a good time, but for some reason i was getting really annoyed with him, he can be so impatient, he tells me how much he likes me and I know he does, its just for some reason im just starting to not be attracted.. i know i like him i just have this gut feeling down n my pit, maybe im not giving it enouggh time so ill try, peeps keeps calling us bf/gf/ and i dont know what to say, im e-mailing him to ask him whats up and i really dont' wanna be labled that until we talk about it.. that sounds harsh.. its just id really of like to of known.. any more advice? thanx again for all ur guy's help-chrys

 
Old 01-16-2004, 09:07 PM   #5
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Re: can u subconsiously start to not like someone?

I know exactly how you feel... I like the chase, but once I get the guy, I start backing off... I think I'm just scared... I was cheated on before and my mom was hurt by my dad... so I guess I'm just afraid... of commitment, of love, of being hurt... etc... Dunno what to tell you, but you're not alone!!!!

 
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