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Old 01-24-2004, 10:25 PM   #1
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ZeromanX HB User
Unhappy I need help talking to a girl that I like and she doesn't like me.

The Day before winter break I asked out a girl that knew I liked her and one of her friends said she didn't like me. She calmly said no and walked away. Me and her are both in Band so we spend a lot of time together but we don't really know each other all that well. Her cousin is in a different organisation that I am also in and he told me I am to good for her and she is stuck up. I ignored that because I really like her. I stare at her constly and one of her friends said that makes her feel uncomfortable. Now the Sweetheart dance is coming up and everytime I go to talk to her she is around at least one of her friends. Also it seems like she tries to avoid me as much as possible. I had one chance to talk to her but I didn't have the courage. I see her in class everyday and I like her more and more every time I see her.I have two questions

1. How should I go about getting to know her better?

2. How should I go about asking her ot the Sweetheart dance?


The dance is soon so please reply fast, Thank you.

 
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Old 01-24-2004, 10:32 PM   #2
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calurduran HB User
Re: I need help talking to a girl that I like and she doesn't like me.

ZeromanX, I give you this advice having lived through your situation at least four times in my life, and even though it's probably not what you want to hear, I hope you'll listen. If you've already expressed interest to her, and she's said no, then you need to accept that as her answer. Frankly I'm very impressed that you had the courage to tell her you like her, as that is one of the most nerve-wracking things someone has to do. But if she's given you her answer, the best thing you can do for yourself is accept it and begin to move on. Don't expect that your feelings for her will die instantly or quickly (they never do. I once had a crush on a girl for two years after she said no to me), but the only way you'll have a chance of moving on to the next potential crush is by distancing yourself from this one. Good luck and keep up the faith, fifth time was a charm for me :-)

 
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Old 01-25-2004, 06:29 AM   #3
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love_him HB User
Re: I need help talking to a girl that I like and she doesn't like me.

hey buddy, this may be really hard for her but maybe you just gotta accept things as they are. i would just leave her alone. if she likes you she will come after you. maybe things just arent meant to happen.

 
Old 01-25-2004, 10:02 AM   #4
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Will M. HB User
Re: I need help talking to a girl that I like and she doesn't like me.

Meh, don't give up completely... There is pushing and yeilding. When you asked her out, that was a push--now you have to yeild. I hate that phobia when you know that a girl knows that you like her, so you think if you talk to her, she'll assume your trying to hit on her... But whenever you have a chance to talk to her take it. Ask her about her weekend. If she just answers with one word, keep asking questions about what she did.

Judging by her saying "no" and walking off, I'm assuming that she has been asked out lots of times and is sick of it. So your job is to show her that you are unique from the other guys--and also make her realize that she's unique from the other girls. Be spontaneous; pass her a random note, or lay your jacket down in the middle of the hall for no apparent reason, that'd get her attention. Stay persistent, yet don't push too hard.

If you decide to ask her to the dance, maybe say something like - "Are you going to the dance?" If she says something like 'no' or 'I don't know' say "would you go if I asked you???"

Keep us posted.

 
Old 01-25-2004, 12:15 PM   #5
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jengisima HB User
Re: I need help talking to a girl that I like and she doesn't like me.

Ok, here is my advice:

1) stop staring at her all the time. As a girl with stalkers trust me, it gets creepy. You have to remember that girls have a lot more to worry about than guys do. Guys don't have to worry about rapists and date rape drugs. now, I know you're not going to date rape her or w/e, but I'm just saying that girls are in general a lot more cautious around guys than guys are around girls. So constantly staring at her is just going to freak her out because a) u said you don't even know her that well and b) she's just gonig to think you're a scary stalker. which I'm sure you aren't and I'm sure you're a nice guy.

2) GET to know her! Of course shes going to say no to you when you ask her out... she doesn't even know you! The same thing happened to me. Some dude asked me out 6 times and i didn't really even know her. Do you two talk ever? Why don't you try talking to her, just friendly conversation. And don't ask her out at the end of the conversation, because then she'll be too scared to talk to u in the future. Just go up to her before band and say "hey what's up?" or "do you have mr. ______ for history? he's such a moron! he did blahblahblah." one good tip: MAKE HER LAUGH! girls love the funny guys. say something funny (bot not obviously funny, like you're trying to hard, like don't tell her a joke cuz that's just stupid) just say something sarcastic or funny. trust me, works everytime!

3) give her some space for a while. And expand your horizons to other girls, cuz chances are she is stuck up like her cousin said. plus, if u flirt with other girls, she might get jealous and be more eager to talk to you. even if she doesnt like you, shes probably flattered that you like her, and if you start showing attention to other girls, she'll get jealous. then she'll be more apt to talk to you.

After you get to know her, try asking her to the dance. Don't ask her out yet... If she says no to go to the dance with you for a lame reason (like she just doesn't want to go with you) than give upcuz shes stuck up. if she says no for a good reason, like someone already asked her or she cant go anyway cuz her mom wont let her or something, then dont give up quite yet (although, it could be an excuse, you always risk that possiblity). and if she says yes than good for you! the end of the dance, during the last slow song, would be a perfect time to ask her out. if she says no then, just let it go and realize that you two should only be friends. one time a guy asked me out after I was his date to a dance, and I honestly just wanted to be friends. but he didn't get the hint and he kept asking me out, and it started to freak me out so blocked his screen name on AIM. so don't try too hard cuz it may freak her out.

But remember, GET TO KNOW HER! And once you get to know her you may realize that you don't really like her, or she may realize that you're a terrific guy.

so theres my advice. I suggest you use it because I am a girl and I know what it takes to be won over by a guy! good luck!

 
Old 01-30-2004, 07:48 AM   #6
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soccerprodigy77 HB User
Re: I need help talking to a girl that I like and she doesn't like me.

yeah man...i think you should just leave her alone and let things slide for now. you dont want to get to the point where she thinks youre stalking her. then youll lose any and all chances right there. dont try to pursue anything. you could still talk to her and all, but dont get all, uh, blah over her, y 'know. itll be better for you and increase your chances later.

 
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