Join Date: Nov 2002
Re: question for everybody
If I really liked someone, yes, I would still date them. I would, however, take all precautions available to protect myself. I mean, if you are in love with someone, a medical condition shouldn't stand in the way. However, I would want to make sure that this was a person I could foresee being "the one", not just some casual thing, and making sure that I truly loved the person before becomming sexually active.
I think I do have some perspective on this subject, as I contracted genital herpes about a 1 1/2 years ago from my boyfriend. Up until that time, I never really gave STD's much of a thought, beyond thinking that as long as I use condoms, at least until me and my perspective partner got STD testing done, and were disease free, I would be okay. Now I know that is not necessarily true. My boyfriend and I did get STD testing, both coming out in the clear, so we proceeded to ditch the condoms. One year down the road, I ended up at my doctor's office with what turned out to be my first herpes outbreak. Not until then did I know that a coldsore on someone's lip was actually herpes type 1 (there is also a type 2, which is the usual cause of genital herpes, but type 1 can also infect genitals). I did not know that 80% of the population is infected with oral herpes by the time they reach 14 years of age. I did not know that only 20% of those infected with oral herpes never get the symptoms (coldsores), that they just carry the virus without ever knowing and can pass it to others. I did not know that a coldsore does not need to be present on your partner's lip at the time in order for him/her to spread their oral herpes infection to your genitals by performing oral sex on you. I did not know that if you go in for STD blood tests, herpes type 1 is NOT tested for, because doctors see no use in it, since almost everybody has it orally. Now, here I am at 29 years old, after being soooo careful about sexual partners my whole life (I have been with 4 men), always doing the preemptive STD testing before having unprotected sex, with genital herpes, having contracted it from my boyfriend whom still doesn't have an "STD", since herpes isn't considered an STD unless it is on the genitals.
Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my boyfriend (we are still together, and plan to be married soon), and even if I had found out beforehand that he had any STD, not just herpes, I would still have proceeded with my relationship with him, just taken precautions, because I love him.
Well, my bottom line is that STD's can happen to anyone, not just the promiscuous, but if you love truly love someone, an STD, or any medical condition for that matter, should not stand in the way. But, if the person with the STD is just a casual "hookup", or not someone you could see yourself falling in love with, and being with indefinately, you should not risk it, as even using condoms do not offer complete 100% protection from catching what your partner has.