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Old 02-01-2004, 12:04 AM   #1
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crazybabe_2004 HB User
Unhappy Help!!

my friend is threathing to kill herself and im soo afraid that she wont be alive tomorrow tho she said she wasnt something doesnt feel right. im so worried about it i tried my best to get her not to but im not sure if it worked. what should i do???

 
Old 02-01-2004, 08:21 AM   #2
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Re: Help!!

First off, whether she said she was or wasn't really going to, it is a very serious situation. I know that you are scared cuz i've been in the same situation before but you have to tell an adult. no matter how much you think you can help your friend by talking to them or whatever, it might help a little but not what your friend needs. find an adult that you trust, and tell them before the situation gets out of control. so PLEASE go and tell an adult whether it's your parents or her parents or an older sibling that can talk to an adult...just please tell an adult. then they can help her get the help she needs....
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Old 02-01-2004, 05:54 PM   #3
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Re: Help!!

well i talk to my friend today and she said she was doing better but do you think i still need to tell some1?

 
Old 02-02-2004, 04:19 AM   #4
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Re: Help!!

suicidal feelings jsut dont go away on their own, and she might revert back to them whenever she has reached a point where things are too unbearable, i know, i have been there. perhaps she is different, maybe you can talk to her about gettng her into some counseling, sometimes, talking to someone can make all the difference,

best of luck
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Old 02-06-2004, 03:09 AM   #5
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Post Re: Help!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazybabe_2004
well i talk to my friend today and she said she was doing better but do you think i still need to tell some1?

I have had some experience with suicides being an EMT we deal with them alot but I have also had five friends kill themselves.

Let me tell you one truth and that is when a person says they are going to kill them selves or hints towards that action they are seeking help. They dont really WANT to die or anything they just need to know they are important. The majority of suicide calls I have been on everyone just repeats over and over they seemed so happy they were always smiling and happy how could this happen? Because theses kids never even told soemone they were hurt or thinking of things. Also, although sad, some kids use suicide threats to get attention. SO make sure she gets the kind of attention that will draw her away from ever using it for that if attention is the case

Secondly alot of people who attempt and even those who accomplish usually go from being really sad to be so happy it seems weird.

TELL AN ADULT this cant be stressed enough!! Also you might want to look into the yellow ribbon program or have her call and anonymous help line. BUT get her to TALK to an adult.
You need to remember too that the adult needs to be someone she trusts as well.... not just who you trust. And also know she might feel betrayed at first but down the road she will be grateful to you.

GOOD LUCK and keep your chin up dont pester her about it because that only gets her thinking about it. Have fun and give her no reason to feel that way. But remember if something does happen you cant blame yourself if you did everything you could to help. Sometimes people just cant be reached!!

Prayers for both of you!!
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Last edited by emtdollluvsjohn; 02-06-2004 at 03:13 AM.

 
Old 02-06-2004, 05:30 AM   #6
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XxXroe-babyXxX HB User
Re: Help!!

i think u need to help her as much as u can to go through this. no one wants to go through this with anyone but dont give up on her. try talking to her then if things get way out of hand try talking to her parents. i hope everything goes ok

 
Old 02-06-2004, 02:10 PM   #7
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Re: Help!!

One thing you need to know is that when a person who says they want to commit suicide are to be most feared when they all the sudden seem to be happy. This happy does not come from all the sudden loving life, it comes from knowing you have a plan to end the pain!!!! No one gets over it that quick.
You need to know that this is not a secret to keep. It could cost your friend her life. It may cost you your friendship, but she'll be alive. She will probably be relieved deep down if she knows that someone knows and is going to help her.
Another thing is don't down play her suicidal thoughts. People try to shock them into reality by saying things like....You have no reason to feel that way...you're just being stupid/selfish...if you're so set, then do it...why do you want to die, your life is great...etc. These only further distance them from you and make them feel even more hopeless.
I was suicidal and it scared me soooo bad because at the time I was most at risk was when my life was fine but I couldn't figure out why I wanted to die. In all honesty I was terrified, I didn't want to die but couldn't get past the feeling that I was too far gone to pull out of it alone. There are a couple of posts that would explain how I felt and probably how she feels...they're on the depression board, one is recent, I believe the thread says....Any suicide surivors out there?? and the other was one from me and I believe was in November, so it's several pages from the beginning and said something to the effect of....Help, I don't really want to die...but was under sleepymisfit. The mods gave me my new name when I wanted to change. I kinda like it.
She can make it through but not alone and not only depending on you. This is a burden too heavy to carry alone, nor can it be carried alone. Please tell someone, like above, that you both trust. What kind of relationship does she have with her parents? What is her home life like??? Another thought...what may be triggering her is some sort of trauma that she's afraid to disclose and it's eating away at her. What's your relationship with your parents? Do you feel that telling them is an option? Also, if she tells you to promise to keep a secret, tell her, "I can't promise, but I'll do what I can." Don't tell her you're going to run to an adult and tell them all her secrets, but when it comes down to suicide, your only choice is to tell someone, and do it FAST!!!!!!
What a good friend you are....everyone should be so lucky to have someone like you in their lives. My heart goes out to you sweetpea, please don't worry about her being mad at you. She probably will be at first, but thankful and relieved at the same time. Remember, if she gets mad but gets help, she'll still be alive to patch things up later. Very few people I know that have been in your situation and told, lost their friendship. There was some initial anger but that friend grew to love them even more for helping them from hurting themselves.
(((((((CrazyBabe)))))))..........Angel
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Old 02-06-2004, 04:08 PM   #8
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Re: Help!!

her parents are constantly fighting.i talked to her the other night and she was really upset and one of our friends suggested counsling and i was gonna go with her if she'd go but im not sure if she will. and it hard on me cause she is the 3rd person who has said they wanted to kill themself to me and but when she told me she wasnt gonna do it i sound like a empty promise. im so scared for her sake she told me today she was really despressed and she said she had to go and im just am so wory cause she told me if she wasnt at school that she was "sorry something bad has happened" and she wasnt at school today!!

Last edited by crazybabe_2004; 02-07-2004 at 06:32 AM.

 
Old 02-06-2004, 05:19 PM   #9
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Angel77 HB User
Re: Help!!

It's gone toooo far. You need to call her parents and tell them, or better yet have your parents call them, you're under enough pressure. It needs to be impressed upon them that they need to set aside their problems and work together to pull their daughter through this. Don't wait any longer, talk to your parents now and ask them to call her parents, if that's not an option, I hate to say it, call the cops and tell them of your fears for her safety. If she's a threat to herself they can force her into a program...she will thank you later and you will get at least some relief in knowing that you did all you could.
Don't let the fear of telling stop you....think about how you'll feel if you don't and she follows through...which one is scarier and hurts worse??? You know the answer. Please tell you parents about your feelings too. You don't want to end up in the same place she is. To an extent this is a normal part of growing up. Depression is common and can be triggered by changes as you grow into an adult, but should not be ignored. You need to find your way just as she does. As for those who tell you about wanting to end it all, know that you can't change what outcomes happen. You can help but are not at fault if someone chooses to follow through.

Talk to your parents and then check back with us and let us know how it went. Best of luck...(((((((Crazy)))))))..........Ange l
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Old 02-10-2004, 12:56 PM   #10
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Re: Help!!

if she tells me she going to do it then i'll tell her parents...i was tring to get her to go to consuling if i would go with her and she said maybe

Last edited by crazybabe_2004; 02-12-2004 at 12:58 PM.

 
Old 02-12-2004, 01:28 AM   #11
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Re: Help!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazybabe_2004
im NOT tell my parents how i feel...i kept it to myself for 3 years so there no need to tell it now!!.....and if she tells me she going to do it then i'll tell her parents...i was tring to get her to go to consuling if i would go with her and she said maybe
Are you saying this has been going on for THREE years!!!! I am sorry but if you were a good friend you would get her help. Going to counseling with her is not going to help her! She needs to go herself so she express ALL her feelings and not be afraid to share them!! With you sitting there she may not be able to say everything that she needs to get out because she might be afraid you will judge her! Please dont take this post wrong I am sure you are a good friend, but if you really were truly concerned for her you wouldnt waste any more time and you would get her help....
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Old 02-12-2004, 12:56 PM   #12
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Re: Help!!

this hasnt been going on for three years (on the last post i took some stuff out) this has been going on only for a couple of weeks.

 
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