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Old 02-08-2004, 07:01 AM   #1
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Kylie1 HB User
Unhappy getting him to leave me alone

Right now there is a freak after me. He is ugly, fat, boring and has more in common with a peanut than me. For some reason he likes me.

This story starts last year when he asked me out. I never really talked to this guy unless I asked to borrow his ruler or something, but one day out of nowhere he messages my mobile (how he got my number I do not know) and pretty much confesses his love for me.

I said no, and luckily it was a new semester and our timetables were changed so I had no classes with him. All was fine until the start of this year. I was out with a bunch of friends and I saw him. I casually said hi as I walked past (I figured it was rude to ignore him) and in hindsight it was the worst thing I ever did.

Since then there has been endless phone calls, messages, and has even got my home phone number which creeps me out. He keeps asking me to come over to his house, to go to the movies, go to a resteraunt etc. and I just don't want to. No matter what excuse I make, he will call back and ask me again. If I don't answer my mobile he will call my home number and we don't have caller I.D. so it's a problem. He puts me in a position where I can't say no, and when I do say no he either gets really mad and puts me on a guilt trip, or asks me if we can do it another time. He is a complete pervert and calls me and asks me very personal question about sex and all of those "naughty" topics. He always bugs me about my male friends because he doesn't like them (he does have good reason to but he shouldn't be deciding who my friends are). These phone calls and messages are almost every day. The only reason he doesn't pop up at my house is because I've told him that my father doesn't like me having male friends and he would kill him if he came over.

I'm sorry this is long but I don't know how to get rid of him. I am usually a very assertive person, but he scares me so much with his obsessivness that Im too scared to say anything ya know.

 
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:21 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Murray, Utah,USA
Posts: 131
dollluvsjohn HB User
Re: getting him to leave me alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kylie1
Right now there is a freak after me. He is ugly, fat, boring and has more in common with a peanut than me. For some reason he likes me.

This story starts last year when he asked me out. I never really talked to this guy unless I asked to borrow his ruler or something, but one day out of nowhere he messages my mobile (how he got my number I do not know) and pretty much confesses his love for me.

I said no, and luckily it was a new semester and our timetables were changed so I had no classes with him. All was fine until the start of this year. I was out with a bunch of friends and I saw him. I casually said hi as I walked past (I figured it was rude to ignore him) and in hindsight it was the worst thing I ever did.

Since then there has been endless phone calls, messages, and has even got my home phone number which creeps me out. He keeps asking me to come over to his house, to go to the movies, go to a resteraunt etc. and I just don't want to. No matter what excuse I make, he will call back and ask me again. If I don't answer my mobile he will call my home number and we don't have caller I.D. so it's a problem. He puts me in a position where I can't say no, and when I do say no he either gets really mad and puts me on a guilt trip, or asks me if we can do it another time. He is a complete pervert and calls me and asks me very personal question about sex and all of those "naughty" topics. He always bugs me about my male friends because he doesn't like them (he does have good reason to but he shouldn't be deciding who my friends are). These phone calls and messages are almost every day. The only reason he doesn't pop up at my house is because I've told him that my father doesn't like me having male friends and he would kill him if he came over.

I'm sorry this is long but I don't know how to get rid of him. I am usually a very assertive person, but he scares me so much with his obsessivness that Im too scared to say anything ya know.

First thing I would do is tell him you dont want to talk to him or see him ever again. Be firm about it he cant hurt you over the phone or in a big crowd. If he starts doing the guilt trip tell him you will not feel guilty. Tell him he creeps you out and you want him to leave you alone. If that doesnt work threaten harassment charges and then go immediately to a school counselor. If you have a school cop I would go to them as well tell them he is scaring you and harassing you and that you want him to go away.

I know that they can be scary trust me I have had a few like him. they are over dominating and can get very obsessive and possessive. If you wnat to be friends with him tell him that if you dont then I suggest getting away from him. Also if he calls your phone and you dont answer and then immediately following that your home phone rings that would almost be a guarantee that its him so just ignore the phone or tell your family to tell him you are not home if he calls. You also need to immediately tell your parents about this!! The need to know and let anyone else that you know that is close to you about it. Mostly, so if he ever does try anything or if he ever does hurt you he will be the one they look at first.

Keep a journal of everything and even try and record some conversations. if you have an answering machine you can let that pick up before you answer usally it will record if you wait until after the beep to answer. Also dont ever go anywhere alone with him!! Stop telling him your personla life and hang up when he starts with the sexual and personal questions.

hope this helps
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:40 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 560
lovely.lady HB User
Re: getting him to leave me alone

So basically what you're describing is stalking. If you've told him to stop calling you and harassing you and he wont then you should tell some authority figure-- have you tried telling your parents? School counselors, even police people if it gets to that extremity. This kid sounds like a real tool- my condolences!

 
Old 02-08-2004, 11:58 AM   #4
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Austin
Posts: 396
Will M. HB User
Re: getting him to leave me alone

Eh, he's stalking you, gross. Let everyone you know that he's doing this to you. That way, you'll have support, and have warnings if he's ever planning something that you wouldn't want. These kind of situations are common these days, and I know girls that have guys like this after them. I can understand how that's scary. I was nice of you to say "hi" but maybe you shouldn't do that anymore. If he ever calls you, maybe you should just say politly: 'your stalking me, please stop it.' Don't do anything to **** him off though, he might go to far. Remember to get help from friends, councilers, teachers, ect...

 
Old 02-08-2004, 04:43 PM   #5
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: ARKANSAS, USA
Posts: 52
sentedshowergel HB User
Re: getting him to leave me alone

Dont lisen to those guys, they dont know any thing but drama. Do be carefull though as to not get alone with this guy and yes, do tell him nicley that your not interested. Next time he calls say this, you have been calling me for awhile and I realize that you really like me but Your just not the person that Im in love with. Tell him because of this, youd dont want to talk to him any more. Thats all you have to do. I bet he would leave you alone. He probabley has such low self esteem that he dosent know any better way to get a girl. you might want to tell your parents though. I would just incase he is nutty.

 
Old 02-09-2004, 03:32 AM   #6
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Location: Sault Ste. Marie, Canada
Posts: 480
Meg28 HB User
Re: getting him to leave me alone

ScentedShower, stalking is VERY serious and the other posters were not being dramatic at all.

Kylie, you need to be very firm with this boy. Tell him that you do not want anymore contact with him. Simple as that. Don't worry about hurting his feelings at this point. You have already tried to be nice about it and it isn't getting through to him.
This can turn into a very scary scenerio. DO tell your parents what is happening. Have them screen the calls. Consider asking them to change the phone number.
If this continues to go on, and in the pit of your stomach you KNOW something feels wrong please do call the police. They will talk to him and probably scare him off. Have your parents call your principal and let him or her know what is going on and it is serious. Trust your gut.
Most of the time these things just stop and go away. But other times the person can be mentally ill and sometimes dangerous.
Let me know how it goes okay. Remember: stand your ground with him. Don't mince words....tell him as clearly as possible that you don't want him around you and you do not want him to contact you in any way.
God Bless,
Meg

 
Old 02-09-2004, 09:03 AM   #7
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 86
nenofury HB User
Re: getting him to leave me alone

Personally I would have a restraining order put on this kid. Tell your dad what's happening and have him contact the police. Very easy to do. This stuff happens all the time.

 
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