It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Teen Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-13-2004, 10:46 AM   #1
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Phoenix, AZ United States
Posts: 133
CazzerKat217 HB User
So Confused... Not sure what to feel

Ok, so about a month ago I find out my dad has pancreatic cancer. I'm still in high school, a senior, so its getting to me. Something lately (I'm guessing it has to do with the cancer and just life being confusing) has been off and i have been kind of cranky. It seems like me and my friend can't get along anymore. I drive her and another friend to school. Yesterday, I was cranky but in an okay mood. I found out a concert I wanted to go to is coming when I am going to be out of town, so I can't really go to the concert. So I told my friend (we'll call her N) about how the concert was while I was going to be gone. N says "I thought u wanted me to go with u" I go "Ya, I do, but I'm going to be out of town... GEEZ calm your butt down (I say this even when the person is calm- it's just my thing)" and my other friend (M) goes "I think you need to be telling yourself that"... So i basically freaked out and ran ahead and went to where we sat and sat down almost in tears... I just don't understand why she is starting to act like I'm being irrational, even when I'm not talking to her! Yes, I will admit, I can be a drama queen, and I am now but it's not like im walking aroudn going "I don't have to do that because my dad has cancer"... I'm acting like myself I'm just a little more sensitive. We had a similar spat Tuesday when I was supposed to help her with something before school but we had to stop by N's locker real quick and M made a comment like "Oh well then just (bad word here lol) my thing them" just because we ewre making a two second stop. And this morning M told another friend that I have "more than a foot up my butt" and something else I can't remember. Does anyone have any ideas as to why she's acting like this? I do nothing to her except drive her to school and pretty much wherever she needs a ride and I don't ask a penny of gas money nor does she offer it. I guess I feel used and hoped she would have some sympathy but it doesn't seem like she does. Sorry if I went off on sidebars... just need your input. Thanks

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-13-2004, 01:17 PM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MI
Posts: 162
nelzun HB User
Re: So Confused... Not sure what to feel

Maybe she's jealous of N because she feels like she's losing you? To me she sounds like one of my friends. You know the controling type that are only happy when they are recieving all your favors. Maybe she's jealous that you are spending more energy in N and that she's losing the control she had of you. Obviously if you feel used, then maybe she's not the better friend. Just my opinion though, but I've had lots of experience with controling, jealous people and this is my take on it.

Also, were her and N close friends before? I don't think it's because of the cancer, but maybe people around you including N are being more sensitive to you and paying you more attention. So maybe she's uncomfortable with all the compassion you're getting?

 
Old 02-13-2004, 01:30 PM   #3
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 81
DottyG HB User
Re: So Confused... Not sure what to feel

Quote:
Does anyone have any ideas as to why she's acting like this?
My guess is that this is someone that knows that your father has cancer and doesn't know how to react to you. This person is lashing out at you because they don't know what to say or do. As it is, they're lashing out and making things worse. But, it's not that unusual. People have a hard time sympathizing and empathizing with others. As a result, it occasionally comes out in a hateful way when they don't mean it to.

That's my take on it, anyway.

 
Old 02-13-2004, 01:35 PM   #4
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 81
DottyG HB User
Re: So Confused... Not sure what to feel

An additional thought. You need sympathy and comfort right now. And, what you need to do is let this person know that.

You need to sit down, in a nonconfrontational way, and say, "Hey, you know, I'm a bit hurt by some things that you're saying right now. I need you to be there for me right now, since I'm going through something very stressful. Can we talk about some ways that we can help each other through this? You need to understand that my moods are a bit erratic at the moment. And, I'm sorry for that. But, maybe there's a way that we can compromise and help each other? I can teach you how to be there for me right now, and you can teach me how to get through this situation in a way that we stay friends."

But, you can't blame or get angry (I seem to be saying that a lot today!) You need to calmly explain to her that this is something that's hurting you and you need her help with it.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Just diagnosed with MS.....dazed and confused Wilc516 Multiple Sclerosis 44 04-26-2010 02:11 PM
Confessed to Cheating on Husband..Now Confused! BrownSuga35 Relationship Health 25 01-19-2009 08:28 AM
A number of issues, I am just so confused... Random181 Men's Health 4 08-06-2008 04:18 AM
Extremely confused, need help please DontEverListen Relationship Health 8 09-16-2007 03:13 PM
Confused - need advice! holahanson Relationship Health 9 08-31-2007 08:36 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



rosequartz (7), Seraph (7), writeleft (6), lenvegas (4), Kszan (3), linguist1 (2), Diverdan8 (2), ERpiguy (2), solofelix (2), frisbeefreak (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (859), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:51 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!