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Old 02-16-2004, 03:35 PM   #1
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Cali4niagurli HB User
A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Hey,

I like this guy, and we hang out a few times a week as friends. I know he really likes me as a friend, but I'm not sure if he likes me in that way. I keep thinking that the reason why he hangs out with me is that no one else really lives near him, and not because he likes me. I think I’m being stupid because he calls me just to see how I'm doing, comes to watch my v-ball games, etc.

I figure that if he thought of me as just a friend, he would have already told me who he likes (when we talked about it) because we go to different schools that are 20 min apart, it wouldn’t matter if he told me that he liked a girl at his school because I wouldn’t know her anyway. He's already asked me who I like a few times, and I was stupid and I never told him it was him because I was too scared. Still, I’m not sure if he likes me or not!

So my question for the guys is:

Would you hang out with a girl that much and do all that stuff even if you didn't like her in that way?

Thanks so much everybody!

 
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Old 02-16-2004, 04:04 PM   #2
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eightball61 HB User
Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cali4niagurli

So my question for the guys is:

Would you hang out with a girl that much and do all that stuff even if you didn't like her in that way?

!
\


Reply:

My guess from reading is that he does like and waiting for you to make the first move on asking him out. By him asking you "who do you like" he is trieing to see if you like him. If you are to scared to say anything to him just joke about it next time and say you like him. That would open a convo. up where you both may express feeling for each other.

 
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Old 02-16-2004, 09:42 PM   #3
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Cali4niagurli HB User
Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
\


Reply:

My guess from reading is that he does like and waiting for you to make the first move on asking him out. By him asking you "who do you like" he is trieing to see if you like him. If you are to scared to say anything to him just joke about it next time and say you like him. That would open a convo. up where you both may express feeling for each other.
Thanks so much for your reply! Anymore input for anyone would be great! Thanks again guys!

 
Old 02-16-2004, 10:57 PM   #4
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LiLappleblossom HB User
Wink Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Hey there!

I am not a guy I am a girl but I think I may be able to help! I am only 21 so I have been out of High School for 4 years. But I remember what it is like! Honestly, I wish I would have been able to do this myself in school, but you should just be outright upfront and forward w/ him!!! Just tell him how it is! That is how I got my husband... we were just like you and you friend.. one day I looked at him and said these exact words " Alright look, what is going on here... I am getting mixed signals from you, I like you and I want to know where we are going w/ this relationship" its all history from there... we have been married for a year and a half... not to say you will marry this guy lol... but its the 21st century... women have to stand up and be proud for who we are.... trust me... you will feel good about it when its all over with... if he says he likes you and you get together great... if he says he doesnt like you like that.. only as friends.. well then at least you were not drug on w/ the thought of it any longer and you can get on w/ your friendship!! I hope this helps you out! Let me know how it goes if you decide to be upfront!!!

Have fun while your young...
Deena
__________________
if you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got

Last edited by Guardian; 02-17-2004 at 05:29 AM.

 
Old 02-17-2004, 07:16 AM   #5
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Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

I too am a girl but it really sounds to me like he likes you! I mean, you can't ever really be sure until he tells you, but that's just the impression I get from what you wrote. Do you have any friends that know him? Cause if you do you might want to have them check it out for ya. It's just weird cause I'm like in the exact same situation almost- different school, confused of whether or not he likes me... I would say just keep hanging out and if you feel brave enough ease your way into finding it out. Take your time though! The way I figured out my last boyfriend liked me is he would compliment me alllllll the time, and he didn't do that with other girls.

 
Old 02-17-2004, 07:55 PM   #6
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Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Thanks so much for all of your posts, I really appreciate it!

Deena- I’m not sure that I’m going to marry him if I ever go out with him, but awww… that’s such a great story! I think the reason why I haven’t said anything is because I’ve never had a bf before and he’s one of those guys that is “out of league”. Haha, actually, I used to avoid him because I thought that he’d be a jerk because tons of girls give him their # everyday, but now that I’ve gotten to know him, I realize that he is the sweetest guy… and believe it or not, he’s a senior in hs and he’s never had a gf before. Anyway… I’m rambling! I have to tell him straight out eventually, because I’m sick of the wondering. Now the question is… will I chicken out!

lovely.lady- I know people that know him, but they don’t really know him enough to ask that kind of question. They’re more like “acquaintances”. The only thing I know is he’s not interested in any girl at his school or in his town. Good news is, that narrows things up a bit, since I’m pretty much the only girl he knows outside of his little town, but then again, that could always mean he’s interested in no one… I agree with you about the hanging out thing. I dunno though, I’ve been hanging out with him like that since, oh… I’ve lost count… but it’s been months, and I still don’t know! Guys are such dorks!

Anyway, thanks so much for all of your great advice, and any more input would be great! Thanks everyone!!

 
Old 02-21-2004, 10:36 AM   #7
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LinkinParkTennisGumbi23 HB User
Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Omg, you just described my EXACT situation! Aren't guys annoying??

Anyway, I think the most important thing you should do is tell him how you feel. Sure, it's hard and scary (I've chickened out sooo many times ) but it will be worth it. If he doesn't like you, then I'm sure you guys will be really open with each other and be really great friends... probably better than you are now ! There's nothing better than an awesome guy friend! And, if you find out he does like you... then you have a great bf!!! The bottom line is that you should say something, because if you don't... years from now you're going to wonder what would of happened if you would have said something. I'm SO scared of that happening to me!!

If he says no, sure, you'll be a little crushed, but either way, it's a win win situation: you'll get a boyfriend or a best friend!

Also, an idea, if you're too worried about telling him how you feel... maybe ask him to your school Prom since your a senior. Hope that helps, and good luck!!!

Love,

Jess

 
Old 02-21-2004, 12:53 PM   #8
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Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

caligurl he likes you in that way

 
Old 02-21-2004, 08:27 PM   #9
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Cali4niagurli HB User
Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Thanks so much for all of your input guys! I think I'm just going to tell him, because I'm sick of not knowing!! Thanks so much everyone!!!

 
Old 02-21-2004, 11:12 PM   #10
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Brujeria HB User
Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Your in luck, i'm a guy, lol.
I believe the person who makes the first move has a lil' more control in the relationship, because YOU started and YOU can end. If he goes to check out your v-ball games and hangs with u, go for it. Your probaly a beautiful girl, don't be scared, if he doesn't like u, hey! F****ck him u got a lot more guys wanting u.

guys are annoying? GUYS R ANNOYING!?!

A GIRL IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING IN THIS WORLD, right next to tampon comercial. but hey, love u ladies, i can't live with out u girls.

(by the way, if this guy turns out not liking u and just wants to "hang out" his gay, i'm sorry)

 
Old 02-22-2004, 08:15 AM   #11
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Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Reading my story will probably help you out I went through the exact same situation two years ago with my current bf. We met in a hospital (we had the same surgery on our knees) and talked a lot and decided we liked each other as friends (little did we know we liked each other more than that - hehehe). He used to joke about leaving the hospital "hand in hand" together and body checking me if we went skating together. He did body check me, lol. I also noticed that the occupational therapist there would ask him if he wanted to play a sport and he'd say no, and then when she'd ask me he'd change his mind and want to come.

After we left the hospital we met up a few times and he started to act a bit weird - asking me a lot of questions and stuff about my ex-boyfriends, sex (we're adults! 20-24 at the time), and a lot of other stuff. But then I couldn't figure out if he liked me - I became highly distressed and pulled away from him. He had no friends because he was in the hospital for so long so I figured he was just desperate for a friend. He even hit on this lesbian at the hospital - knowing that he'd reject her (later I found out to make me jealous). He then started seeing some other girl not too much later and it broke my heart. She had asked him out.

2 months later they broke up and I figured that I had to say something right away, no more head games, no more any of that garbage. So I told him straight up - he didn't say anything, he just kissed me. He had always liked me. Ever since then we've had a great relationship.

You could either ride it out and just see if he says something or just tell him straight out how you feel. But if he doesn't feel the same it can risk the friendship that you two have. Then again, it might not. But not telling him and he might think you don't like him and find someone new. These are the two risks you are going to have to take.

Him hanging out with you a lot and asking you questions are VERY good signs, especially if he asked you who you like. LOL I should've tried that in the beginning!

Try this : Tell him you really like a guy but you're too shy to tell him. See his reaction. Ask him if he's ever felt that way before. If he says yes, then he's probably shy. Boys and men at ANY age are afraid of rejection.

If he gives you any more signals that you aren't sure of post them here and we'll tell you what they mean.

Good luck. I know how hard this is, hon.

 
Old 02-22-2004, 10:39 AM   #12
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Cali4niagurli HB User
Re: A question for the guys... but girls can answer too!

Thanks so much for all of your great advice!

Brujeria- “A GIRL IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING IN THIS WORLD, right next to tampon commercial. but hey, love u ladies, i can't live with out u girls. (by the way, if this guy turns out not liking u and just wants to "hang out" hes gay, i'm sorry)”

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yea, I was only kidding about the annoying thing, but hahaha . Anyway, thanks so much for your advice, I’m going to hang out with him Friday night, so I’m just gonna tell him then, because I’m so sick of knowing nothing at all, and you’re right, if he doesn’t like me, screw him, I’ll find others!

Natasha1981- I like your story. “Tell him you really like a guy but you're too shy to tell him. See his reaction. Ask him if he's ever felt that way before. If he says yes, then he's probably shy. Boys and men at ANY age are afraid of rejection.” –the rejection part is so true!!! My best guy friend was scared to death of rejection!

When "Bob" asked me who I liked, he said that I didn’t have to tell him who it was because he probably “wouldn’t know him anyway”, and then I said, “oh, you’d be surprised”. All of the sudden, he said “what?” in an excited voice, and then I said, “Never mind”, and he said, “Oh…. Okay.” Soo… I’m guessing that’s a good sign.

Yesterday, I was hanging out with some friends, and they were bugging me about him saying that we both like each other, and then my phone rang and it was him asking me how my v-ball game was because he couldn’t come watch it. So, I think he likes me, and I’m just going to tell him while keeping in mind all of your advice!

Everyone that knows the both of us (which isn't many, but anyway...) are always saying that we both like each other or that we’re going out (because we hang out so much), so I’m hoping everyone is not full of it, because they sometimes are!!!

Once again, thanks so much for everything, and if anyone has anything else, I’d be more than happy to read it!

 
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