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Old 02-17-2004, 07:53 AM   #1
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What you guys think?

I haven't ever really been in a serious relationship till now, I've been dating this girl for 2 1/2 months and we love eachother, we did it after a month going out and we argue sometimes but we also spend lots of time together etc. She says she would marry me she will never leave me and I say the same back. Is this just a teenage love thing or is it actually serious? I tried to tell her that I know you love me but are you really sure i'm the one? What do you guys think, were both 17, and she's dated many guys but says im different...

 
Old 02-17-2004, 10:36 AM   #2
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Re: What you guys think?

Um ok it sounds like lust to me. You guys are both still very young i dont know if you guys could know exactly what love is. Some people find it within days, its kinda weird how it works, you said you "did" it after a month did what? Had sex? Lol If shes dated a lot of guys she could be dependent on them. IM not saying your not differen't but Id be careful. who innitiated the " i love you's first?"
Do you know if shes ever been in love before? R U in love with her, You say that you are in love with her, but you haven't been dating that long. Have you ever been in a serious relationship before? Im 18 almost 19 and ive never been in love. I think ive been infatuated, and all around me my friends are falilng in love for the first time. I think id describe love as someone that you can't stand to be with out, everytime you kiss that person you get butterflies and all tingly when they just brush against you, when they can still make you blush you know make you laugh over the stupidest thing, make you feel comfortable to be around them. I don't know to me it sounds like it could be lust, and if your questiong her about her loving you, then maybe you don't love her and your confused a bit and maybe scared because you might think you are and your not ready, or your scared because she might be and you don't know if shes serious if shes dated a lot of guys anyway. I wouldn't say I love you quite that quickly. Just date her a bit longer, get to know her more before you make the commitment of I love you. YOu are still young!!!! You will find love sooner or later, just don't rush it because you feel you might have to.. Keep us posted and good luck. If you are in love then im happy for you one of these days ill figure it out -chrys

 
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Old 02-18-2004, 06:43 PM   #3
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Re: What you guys think?

Quote:
Originally Posted by so_cunfuzzled
... I think id describe love as someone that you can't stand to be with out, everytime you kiss that person you get butterflies and all tingly when they just brush against you, when they can still make you blush you know make you laugh over the stupidest thing, make you feel comfortable to be around them...
sounds about right to me... alright i'm about 18, i have only ever been in two "relationships", one was pure infatuation... the other i'm currently still in and it's wonderful... now, even though i may not be "experienced" per say, i've still seen a lot and figure hey... i'll give you another $.02... and i apologize if i end up rambling [seems to be my habit today...]

love is a bit of an ambigious... "thing"... i suppose, there is no real definition and it's really only based on opinions that are pretty well influenced by your upbringing... enviroment... and your own experiences... now, from what i understand and have seen... this seems a bit like "lust"... 2 1/2 months is a short time and to be saying that you'd marry each other and never leave each other, etc.... i don't now, doesn't seem like "real love"... i mean by all means it is possible to find love at such a young age and if you have, then kudos to you- that's great... but to me, love is like, this natural and unspoken bond-- when you are with that person you feel like nothing can breing you down... and when you feel like things are, tehy are there by your side... the onlything that's really difficult in anysituatin like this is... you never really know "they are the one"... anything can happened between teh time you start dating to the initial marriage ceremony and even after... i guess love is really quite "weird"... it's an instict... relationships grow over time, not in 2 1.2 months... it takes time for a relationship to really grow and for "love" to reach full bloom... i guess that's where i'd draw a line between lust and love... lust is quick and your down with, love is an understanding and a bond that allows you to grow with someone...
my bf and i are going on a year soon, and we still have yet to say "i love you"... and to... "do it" [... basically, you guessed it... have sex... ] and we've never talked about marriage... at most, we've talked about what we both want to do in our future and only planned as far as having an apartment our second year of college and occassionally we'll remark humorously about things in the future... to me, lust is nothing like what i'm experiencing... we are there constantly by each othersides and do whatever we can to be there for each other, there are minimal arugements, but when there are, we sit and discuss them, and figure out what went wrong where and try to solve the problem... it took me a while into our relationship for me to decide that i do "love" him, that it wasn't just "lust"...
well, i think i've done well in going in a circle... so once again, i apologize... but i guess, just to maybe make sense of all the jumble above... you [and her] have to look deep with in yourselves and ask yourself how you truely feel... to truely love someone usually takes time, and musn't be rushed...

i hope this babble was to some aid... and i will say if you've truly found love- wonderful... hold on to it because it's hard to come by, especially so young... if it doesn't work out... then i wouldn't worry, love hasn't found you yet...
... take care and best wishes...
~always
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Old 02-24-2004, 04:11 PM   #4
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Re: What you guys think?

Well here's more info, we spend so much time together, I get jealous when she talks to guys, she gets jealous when I talk to girls, we spend so much time together. We just like being with each other. She says I'm the best boyfriend she ever had. I can always make her smile, she always makes me smile, we argue once and a while, we talk a lot, phone and person, and we once went 4 days without seeing each other and it was horrible, we both only talked on msn we needed to see each other...we can't stand to be away from each other. She says I'm different from the other guys she's dated, and I know she means a lot to me and I'm so happy to be with a girl like her...there's more of the story cause I was in a rush last time..

 
Old 02-25-2004, 07:43 PM   #5
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Re: What you guys think?

Hey well ok it sounds like your in the same situation as my roomate and personally just seeing it is makign me sick! Lol i know that she is in love but she was looking for love, she was always telling me how if she had someone she would feel so much better about herself. Theve been dating a month after two weeks theys aid i love you, just htis last sunday then went to a bed and breakfast, shes only 18 andd they are going to move to arizona together next year to go to college togehter. And are talking about marriage. I dont know what it is but a lot of people like to feel special and don't always see whyats right in front of them.. Im not even doubting your feelings for each other.. just don't take things to far or way to fast thats not gonna help anything.. Just because you feel so strongly now doesnt' mean thats how you really and truly feel. LIke i said lust don't say love yet. YOu hvaen't been together long enough, it oculd be infatuation.. it could be love but I doubt it.. Im not tryint o burst your bubble but I see so many people make that mistake. I hope that what your feeling is true.. Just take a step back.. You guys are so involed with each other right now thats how you feel just give it more time ok? And then see where your feelings stand.. don't fall to hard in the beginning cuz if it doesn't work hard your ognna fall harder for the next one.. goodluck-chrystal

 
Old 02-26-2004, 04:40 AM   #6
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Re: What you guys think?

K thanks, just wondering, can someone define lust and infatuation, never really heard of em before...

 
Old 02-26-2004, 03:26 PM   #7
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Re: What you guys think?

lust... it's basically a 'craving' or desire... more so sexual, but it can account on anything...
infatuation... "A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.
An object of extravagant, short-lived passion." according to a dictionary...

both are shallow, meaning that you don't really "love" the person neccisarily... take for example, many people after a relationship has been completely termintated with little hope of ressurection... they will move on to what some refer to as... "the rebound"... they'll find someone and attach themselves to him/her for sort of "support" and a way to move on... they'll "love" love that person, but deep down, they're basically just using them for emotional support... usually not much more...---- now, that is definatly not always the case, but it's a good example of where lust and infatuation are present, rather than love...
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Old 02-27-2004, 09:57 AM   #8
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Re: What you guys think?

Quote:
Originally Posted by qwerty123
Well here's more info, we spend so much time together, I get jealous when she talks to guys, she gets jealous when I talk to girls, we spend so much time together. We just like being with each other. She says I'm the best boyfriend she ever had. I can always make her smile, she always makes me smile, we argue once and a while, we talk a lot, phone and person, and we once went 4 days without seeing each other and it was horrible, we both only talked on msn we needed to see each other...we can't stand to be away from each other. She says I'm different from the other guys she's dated, and I know she means a lot to me and I'm so happy to be with a girl like her...there's more of the story cause I was in a rush last time..

This sound like my relationship...

We spend alot of time together but still young for a hard relationship.. I love her to dealth and we spend alot of time together. I do get jealous when she talks to guys or goes out with guys buy that is somnthing I have to handle as a person. It wouldn't be healthy if I didn't allow her to go out.

I hope the world our relationship carries into marriage but she will somtimes say "you can never predict the future". Which this is true...I say just go with the flow and love her and hopefully it will turn into more

 
Old 02-27-2004, 12:59 PM   #9
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Re: What you guys think?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
I hope the world our relationship carries into marriage but she will somtimes say "you can never predict the future". Which this is true...I say just go with the flow and love her and hopefully it will turn into more
in relationships, that's all you can really ever hope for, you never know what may happen... all you can do is go day by day... move at a pace you both are comfortable with... don't push things... "go with the flow"... trust each other... each day your relationship will grow little by little... and in due time, it will turn "into something more"... even if it's just a little something... it'll mean a lot
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:21 PM   #10
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Re: What you guys think?

just to let you know i'm in a serious relationship for almost a year. I love my man.And I love him to death.. even after that. But i'm only 17. the thing is i knew him for 2years and we are close. So i really got to know him.

what i think about your realationship with this girl is lust. its to fast to say i love you. its like puppy love. i dont think you love her but maybe you care about her. you need to slow down.. abit... no! i lot. just have to keep it real to you. you need to get to know each other better. so please take things slow or you might have consequences.

 
Old 03-01-2004, 07:07 PM   #11
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Re: What you guys think?

We have been getting to know each other, yesterday we talked about embarrassing moments and laughed and had a great time, I tell her everything, I tell her about my most personal stuff not even my bestest friend knows. Her ex boyfriend keeps calling though and I am getting ****** to the point that if I see this guy I'm sorry for what I will do to him. She tells me not to worry and she told him it's over and she doesn't want to see him, I heard from my friend that she always talks about me at school non stop and that's what she's told me before. I do love her and I know I do, lust would be what I was going to have with previous girls that I thought I loved but now I look back and can't see myself with them, with my girlfriend I love daydreaming about being with her I love her so much and this is how I seem to truly feel...grrr I'm confused I believe I love her, I feel I do, but I'm still young and so is she...I guess well have to play it out and see?

 
Old 03-05-2004, 04:55 AM   #12
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Re: What you guys think?

bringing up my post

 
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