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Old 02-24-2004, 11:33 PM   #1
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Passion4BskBall HB User
Exclamation What do i do now?

Im confused, a few months ago in October at the homecoming dance i told my crush i liked him after he asked me.. supposidly he heard from others about how i felt. Well, we just had another dance and it was nothing big, i went after a basketball game cuz my friends were there. I was excited to see he had arrived to.. well later he asked me to dance.. he said he was going to leave when he did he gave me a hug and kissed me. Over the weekend i didnt hear anything from him, and i didnt call him. We have one class together (wght. training) we didnt speak much, he didnt confront it. I want to tell him i liked it, we keep looking at eachother and ya know sorta flirting with out eyes, and well i want to know since he made the first move now what? what are somethings to tell him its ok, and not to back off. thanks
Passion4Bskball

 
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Old 02-25-2004, 05:11 PM   #2
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Re: What do i do now?

It sounds like you both really like each other but the problem is that you are both shy. My advice to you is to encourage him more. You said he kissed you and hugged you at the dance. He obviously likes you...but maybe he's afraid of rejection. So you need to give him some encouragement. You need to make the next move. Do something more than just eye contact. How about smiling? Maybe in gym class, you could make an effort to be around him. Be interested in the same machines he is doing. Ask him questions about them. Anything to get you guys more comfortable around each other. This will help you both open up more. Good luck. =)

 
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Old 02-25-2004, 05:50 PM   #3
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Exclamation Re: What do i do now?

thanks ill try that.. i come up to him now and then inbetween classes i try to be around him. I think im sorta afraid of rejection but not by him.. by my friends and the basketball team. I play varsity and they like to mess around. I have had problems in the past with some of the players about different things.. and i dont want them to make fun of him or us together. See.... im athletic built, a nice body and he is a lil over weight. Im white and he is black.. they dont have a problem with the white and black thing but one of the seniors loves black guys and they will think i am copying her.. so its a lil scary and i want to make a move to show him i like him.. but dont know about the aftermath of it all. Thanks for the advice.. Anyone else? Can i get some other opinions?

Thanks

 
Old 02-25-2004, 06:00 PM   #4
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always HB User
Re: What do i do now?

my answer to this... "who cares?"...
nope, not being negative... but i'm saying, if you guys want to go for a relationship... go for it... it never hurts... if soemthing happens and this work sout... wonderful, if it doesn't... don't worry, in due time someone will come along... you shouldnt 'care about what other's think... [hence... "who cares"...]... its up to you two and you two only...
as for what other people think... usually the whole "whisper behind the back about this couple" will only last a short while if at all... and even then i mean, it's shallow of them anyways... as for the senior who'll make the dreaded, "you're copying me" accusations... if she even makes that point [which hopefully she won't], make note that there are tons of people who have that preferance... just because she likes black guys doesn't mean other people can't... and so what if you two aren't built the same... that shouldn't matter... i've seen all sorts of couples work out... people shouldn't make fun of it and if anyone does say anything about it... "who cares"... you're happy and that's all that counts... people who judge a couple on how they look together are shallow and ignorant... don't worry about them...

there is nothing wrong with trying... sure, sometimes it doesn't work out... [yep... had one of those and it'll hurt for a little...]... but there's always a chance that it will... even if it starts from a simple friendship and then grows into something more... and it works out [yep, had one of those... still smiling...]... it's worth it... it is always worth a shot...

i hope that what ever you may decide to do works for the best... best wishes and good luck...

~always
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Last edited by always; 02-25-2004 at 06:03 PM.

 
Old 02-25-2004, 06:06 PM   #5
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Exclamation Re: What do i do now?

ok so ya.. then i will go for it but is there a little more of an approach i can take then just smiling or hanging around him. i dont really want him to think i am obsessed.. ya know.. but i what him to know i do like him. any ideas?

thanks alot.. and i know that i shouldnt care about others oppinions so ill do that. blow them off cuz if i want it then no one should be able to step in the way right
thanks alot.. any more ideas?

 
Old 02-25-2004, 07:16 PM   #6
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Reina90 HB User
Re: What do i do now?

Good for you! Forget all that high school social BS! I got out of high school not so long ago and it is such a relief to see that people aren't so worried about how they appear to each other. So do what you want to do! You'll definately feel better about yourself for doing so.
And don't worry...hanging around him or smiling at him isn't going to make him think you're obsessed. This is probably why he hasn't made any other moves because he is unsure of how you feel. Maybe you should go for it more and stop hanging back. It seems that your fear of how you appear is holding you back from being able to express your feelings to him. Maybe try not being so passive. Just be natural. I know that is easier said than done...Good luck!!!!

 
Old 02-26-2004, 06:23 PM   #7
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Re: What do i do now?

okay.. today at lunch i sat with my friend. Brian, the guy i like came over and sat down with us, he sat next to me... my back was hurting and his back was facing me cuz he was talking to someone off to the side so i layed back on him, when his friend left he turned around and made it so one leg was on each side of the bench thingy so i sat on the bench, he told me to get more comfortable so i did, i lead back inbetween his legs. he had his hands around my waist, when lunch was over he gave me a hug and said he would see me later, anything else i can do to step it up a little. im definately not a flirt expert everyone says i am a tease and i flirt alot but to tell you the truth i dont even realize i am flirting til someone brings it to my attention and when someone says something i tend to back off. so exactly what is flirting.. how do you flirt.. it may seem stupid but it is a question. and how do you flirt.. ? its not bad is it. im in High School, i guess i should know this but whatever. thanks alot.. to anyone who helps.

 
Old 02-27-2004, 10:52 AM   #8
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Re: What do i do now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Passion4BskBall
okay.. today at lunch i sat with my friend. Brian, the guy i like came over and sat down with us, he sat next to me... my back was hurting and his back was facing me cuz he was talking to someone off to the side so i layed back on him, when his friend left he turned around and made it so one leg was on each side of the bench thingy so i sat on the bench, he told me to get more comfortable so i did, i lead back inbetween his legs. he had his hands around my waist, when lunch was over he gave me a hug and said he would see me later, anything else i can do to step it up a little. im definately not a flirt expert everyone says i am a tease and i flirt alot but to tell you the truth i dont even realize i am flirting til someone brings it to my attention and when someone says something i tend to back off. so exactly what is flirting.. how do you flirt.. it may seem stupid but it is a question. and how do you flirt.. ? its not bad is it. im in High School, i guess i should know this but whatever. thanks alot.. to anyone who helps.

To answer the question " how do u flirt? " is kind of tough. Flirting to me is something that come to mind when the time is there. I never really notice my actions but I just do the same thing as the other person is doing. For ex. hitting/ pushing.

 
Old 03-01-2004, 05:04 PM   #9
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Passion4BskBall HB User
Re: What do i do now?

why wont he make a move. as i have said he kissed me and i really liked it. i wish he would just i dont know make a move. when home i try to tell myself i dont like him, but as soon as i see him my heart skips a beat. ya i know puppy love but i dont really think its taht, but maybe a crush but i wish it would be more. i flirt with him alot now since the advice and still all he does is hug me and he will look at me and stuff but no "what to do something this weekend." its frustrating me. i wish something would happen soon. what can i do that will make him want to make a move. do i really have to make the next move. i think i have been making a move since im flirting alot and trying to be near him. somone help please

 
Old 03-02-2004, 07:19 PM   #10
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Passion4BskBall HB User
Re: What do i do now?

im starting to forget about him.. at least trying.. maybe i should move my interest towards someone who seems a lil more interested in me and maybe that will work. besides in a young teen years what are the chances of finding your soul mate.. right.
thanks for all the advice

 
Old 03-02-2004, 07:22 PM   #11
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Re: What do i do now?

maybe he is the type of guy that just wants to keep a girls interest?? well i dunno but someone please help me tell him nicely that i dont think i like him much like that anymore, and it would be better for us to be just friends because all of his friends know he likes me and i like him, so should i just in a kind manner say "you snooze you loose" not in those words but i want him to know he waited to long and my interst changed. lil help please
thanks

 
Old 03-03-2004, 12:24 PM   #12
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eightball61 HB User
Re: What do i do now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Passion4BskBall
maybe he is the type of guy that just wants to keep a girls interest?? well i dunno but someone please help me tell him nicely that i dont think i like him much like that anymore, and it would be better for us to be just friends because all of his friends know he likes me and i like him, so should i just in a kind manner say "you snooze you loose" not in those words but i want him to know he waited to long and my interst changed. lil help please
thanks
Just telling him you don't want to ruin a strong friendship by getting into a relationship. If you to were to date what are the chances your going to talk afterwards. Its very wierd that most couple do after they break up.

I personally try to make an attempt to stay in contact but if they brush me off then I stay my distance.

 
Old 03-03-2004, 06:17 PM   #13
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so_confuzzled HB User
Re: What do i do now?

Ok it seeeems like your just giving up way to easily because hes not doing anything. Ur in highschool right? Or am I way lost! IT does not matter what else people think omgosh it would be between you and him, and for two he is pretty shy as he** for the most part probobly and just because he isn't making a move doestn' mean anything, you need to talk to hhim and ask him whats up. d on't freaken give up that erks me too many people do things like that, take into consdieration what he might be going through or feeling or why hes so shy or hasn't mad ea move, you need to tell him how your feeling, what your thinking and that you do like hijm and u want to know if he feels the same so manybe you can take things further. do'nt give up this could become something great you ll never know if you give up to easily-chrystal

 
Old 03-04-2004, 09:33 PM   #14
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Passion4BskBall HB User
Re: What do i do now?

ya i am in high school but just a freshman. before i was just looking at someone that i knew since 4th grade, now i see the real him. maybe there is a possibility of me dating him later on but now that i see him, not just the out side but now that i am taking a deeper look i see he isnt ment for me at this time. I am busy with basketball and not much time to devote to him who isnt involved in anything. i think i need a guy that is involved in something to keep him busy so that i am not always having to make the choices of when i am and am not available. not only that but to me it seems as if he does not want to do anything with his life. he is sorta just the couch potatoe type and he flirts with all the girls. I talk to his friend who is a friend of mine and he says that brian the guy i like, thinks i am a major flirt. i dont realize it when i flirt, i mean ya i do it but it is all in play and now and then, mainly with my best guy friends because that is the relationship we have. so about a month or two ago he said he asked him if he should ask me out and his friend we will call him bob, well bob said he thinks he should ask me out, nothing since and i dont want to wait forever. i have found new interest and i like my desicions alot more. he is cool as a friend but he just is not my type, at least not now. I know my type. and i know what i am looking for, he isnt fitting the profile.

 
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