ok i'm a sophmore in highschool and i've had NO real boyfriends and only one guy actually asked me out but the pressure from his friends made it unbearble so we called it quits. but besides that, i've not had anyone else want to go out with me (and i'm too shy to ask). i mean, could it be my personality? i'm the type of person who is for real, like you get what you see (not meaning i'm wlaking around in tiny clothes and hung over every guy). i love to be out of the ordinary in conversations and thought and i love to laugh. i guess sometimes i act a little boyish but not to the point where i'm dressing like one. i honestly don't care how people view me and if they hate me thats their problem but i'm not going to cause trouble. i'm pretty optimistic and try to be encouraging when possible (although i can be pessimistic to the extreme, lol). well with that said, i still don't get why guys won't ask me out. any ideas??
There are a lot of girls asking that question, and at the same time, I, as well as a lot guys are asking "How come there's no girls?" I'm your age, and I've never had a girlfriend, because I find a lot of girls I talk to sleasy and ignorant. It may be awhile for me. Just play it by ear, and someone will come along that you get along with. Don't rush things, though--what I mean is, if someone asks you out, and you know the guy is a jerk, but has a nice face, don't take the chance.
Heh, you sound like me. Im a sophomore too, and the only guy Ive had ask me out was someone whose goal is to have sex with every girl on campus (okay maybe not- but it seems like that). Hes a nice guy, with a cute face, but I stayed awaaaay from hin. Tho thats besides the point. We are so young. We still have half of high school to go through, and college (or wherever). Personally, Im not comfortable dating now. I dont really know why, but it doesnt seem right for me at the moment. However, I do have guy friends. At this point in our lives, I think its more important to have good friendships than 'romantic' relationships (for lack of a better word). Another thing- My oldest brother didnt have a dingle date through all of high school (none that I know of anyway ) but now hes happily married at 23. Even though he didnt have dates, he had female friends. I think that 'friend' relationship between the opposite genders is more helpful in finding someone to marry, because you are friends with people you are compatable with and that accept you and all your quirks. And all of those other things that come along with friendship. When you date, you are more focused on the sensual love relationship, not the kinds of things that would make a successful marriage. Cus you date to find someone to marry, as far as I can tell. Unless theres something that Ive missed in my 16 years of life. Wee horray for typing a lot. *falls asleep*
I remember thinking the same thing in my early teens and then BAM I hit about 15 years old and I was literally fighting them off. The fact that I had lost some weight and bleached my hair and now was a teenage babe may have had something to do with it! However, little things when you are young eat into your confidence and you go through all kinds of insecurities which when you are older, trust me seem laughable in the scheme of things. But right now, don't try too hard. There's nothing more off putting than a desperado
all i'm goign to really say is, "don't rush"... see... i used to be a complete tom-boy... i'm now a senior... and i didn't have my first real relationship until almost the end of my junior year [i had had a 6 month deal, but all we did was talk in the halls at school... yep, a real keeper there]... in time, you'll find someone... i'm sure, that a lot of guys are just shy [especially with what i've seen...] ... i mean, hey, my boyfriend and i are approaching a year... and before he asked me out, we hung out and became really good friends [ofcourse though, i had asked him to prom since he was a sophomore and our prom requires one of the pair to be a junior or senior...] find someone who has the same interests as you and what not [ours was we both play the upright bass... and it hit off from there]... let a good strong friendship develop show a little interest in him, and see where it goes from there...
"just imagine what bach would have done with a synthesizer
"the thing with music: never be afraid to fail, always try, never give up..." Mr. Tourre
Don't change anything about you You seem like the cool kind of gal that will eventually meet MR. Pleasent guy. Mr. Pleasent will treat you will respect and care for you. You don't want a guy who just want you for sex.
aww thanx guys for the advice. i'm not in any hurry or anything, just wondering why all my friends were having boys all over them and i was just chilling with them. i can wait for the "perfect" guy and definetly know that this is not something i should be crying about. thanx again
What you need to be reminded of is that quite often young boyfriends and girlfriends are together NOT because of some undying puppy love, but just because they don't want to be seen as 'alone' by their peers. You are actually making a statement ahead of your time. QUALITY over QUANTITY is really the way to go.
I agree with everything said so far...don't let guys judge by looks, and don't you either. If you ask me, personality is the main thing, about 99% while looks stands at about a 1%.
I'll share my experience with you too. I am not a normal girl; I wear guys' clothing and I do some pretty crazy things. If you judged me by my looks, you would think I'm a really bad girl, but in all reality, I'm far from it. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, steal, look for sex, or anything else people my age like to do. I am very very shy and not that attractive, and because of all these traits I figured no guy would ever like me for me because I was not "normal". When I started my freshman year, I thought a lot of guys I saw were cute...not "I want to date them" cute, but just cute in general (I only had one guy in my 8th grade class and 11 girls so high school was like a new window being opened up to me ).
By my sophomore year I didn't really think about guys, but about a week into the year I developed a huge crush on a guy in my Spanish class, and it lasted all year and into the summer. But I never dared to even contemplate asking him out because I was hideous and while I didn't fear rejection, I feared being laughed at...like he would say "Why would I want to date something as ugly as you!", so I just let it go. And then I also found out he had a girlfriend, so then I really tried to quit liking him but it was no use; I had eyes only for him.
Like I said, I thought about him all summer, and then he began talking to me on AIM a lot, and I wondered why out of the blue he was talking to me...a week later he asked me out. At first I disagreed...I had no idea how to react!! I had never been asked out before! And I knew what happens between most high school couples after a bit of dating...they warm the sheets up and I feared he might try to force me into something, because I know while he was definitely different from most guys his age, all guys have a couple things in common. But after he annoyed me to my wits' end for three days, I agreed.
And let me tell you...his personality was MUCH MUCH different then what I thought it to be last year...I thought he was a major pervert, but he's very kind and compassionate, and he wasn't out looking for a piece of a** either. We found out we had a lot in common after we talked for a while and we've been going out for almost 8 months now and I know I can fully trust him that he won't do something crazy.
So sometimes you have to speak up, because I guarantee that if he hadn't asked me out I would have still pined over him this year too. But you should also wait for someone to discover you. You see, the more normal you are, the higher chance there is you will find a run-of-the-mill guy. But if you are different, it's harder to find a guy. But you will, trust me. If you or anyone else acts differently, don't try to change, because if a guy likes you for YOU and not your looks, then he's definitely a one in a million find. Being different is a good thing.
But my best wishes to you! Mr. Right is definitely out there!
that post Dark Stranger sounds soo much liek how i am and i agree that looks are not everything. waiting isn't such a bad thing, i enjoy being single and free, it's just out of curiosity i wanted ot knwo why i haven't caught many guys attention. oh well, life goes on!
you sound like a cool girl to me.. just look for that guy that you can be your self around.. trust me you just gotta be out there and be your self.. I'm a senior in highschool.. and Ive only had one girlfriend before.. it didn't last too long ether just 3 months.. I think its cuz im to much of a dork